to ask people not to touch toddlers not related to them?

[evalyn]

Out yesterday with DGC. DGC walking, within grabbing distance, but not holding hands. Middle aged woman, 'Aah, gorgeous!', gently ruffles DGC's hair, smiles broadly at me. DGC shrinks away. I say to this woman, 'Yes, but you shouldn't touch, please.' Woman sniffs, nose in air, walks off in huff.

AIBU to think that even 2-year-olds have the right not to be touched at all, however affectionately, by strangers? And to be really annoyed that this woman thinks she has the right to ruffle my DGC's hair like that?

"Yes but you shouldn't touch please."

sounds like something a museum guard or shop assistant in a china shop would say...and they'd have been rude too.

**

Huh, just don't touch ME!

YABU and rude and precious.

I wish the OP would come back because I'm curious to know if the toddlers parents, would react the same way.

gently ruffles DGC's hair, smiles broadly at me.

This isn't another reverse is it?

YABU, I'm blushing on your behalf OP.

I also want to add that I don't think the child should be 'restrained' with reins or hand holding at all times. I rarely used reins - mostly when DS was learning to walk. Obviously common sense is needed and I would insist on hand holding when walking by a road or water but not if we were in a park.

Hear, hear to MrsDeVere (Am poet )

OP, you bypassed 'unreasonable' and went straight to 'precious and ridiculous'.

Dc is with you(safe) and it's a parent's job to guide the child as to what is and what isn't appropriate. I think this was just friendliness and DC will take their cue from the way you react. For me it would depend entirely on how it happened, the dialogue and gesture that went with it, that's what makes us human, we can tell the difference.

YANBU I have two toddlers and whilst both of them are okay-ish with strangers saying hello or answering their questions, neither likes to be touched or have strangers come too close to them. So why should my DC be upset by randoms? Obviously I do try to minimise their discomfort and make a point of saying to DC afterwards about the nice lady/man just wanted to say hello etc. but i would rather not have the hassle when I'm trying to restrain 2 uncooperative toddlers in a trolley whilst doing the weekly shop.

How many degrees of separation does it take for touching your grandson to be considered unnecessary interference?

I only ask because strolling down a busy street with a two year old and not holding his hand is as strange (if not stranger) than an old lady ruffling his hair. Is handholding the preserve of his mother, then??

God when I'm lucky enough to be a grandparent I will be upset if no one comments on how beautiful my dgc is.
I will be parading the poor child round looking for compliments
Yabu and rude, the poor woman probably felt really embarrassed.

This isn't another reverse is it? hmm

Don't think so, previous posts mention DGC. Also routinely mention dogs.

'nasty smelly disease-ridden animals with the propensity to attack at random'

The middle-aged woman didn't have a dog with her, did she OP?

What a rude thing to say.

Your grandchild is nothing special.

YANBU, OP. Toddlers have as much right as anyone else to bodily autonomy, and I certainly have taught my DDs from an early age that no-one, not even me, has a right to touch them anywhere if they don't want to be touched (health/safety issues aside, obs). If you wouldn't ruffle an adult's hair, why do it to a child? Children are not public property. You can have a perfectly satisfactory and friendly social interaction without putting your hands on someone. Adults do it all the time.

Obviously, touching a strange child to prevent them from coming to harm is a completely different situation and I'm baffled by the posters who think the OP meant that you should let children run into traffic.

I don't think the child should be 'restrained' with reins

Because all children are absolutely identical and all behave in exactly the same way don't they?

And to be really annoyed that this woman thinks she has the right to ruffle my DGC's hair like that it's not really about rights. It's about that irresistible urge to make human contact. It's a good thing, it could've put a smile on your face, don't make it into something negative.

I agree the worst thing about this is you not holding his hand and letting him wander in the street at two years old!

You were really rude as well.

op sad, sad sad...

RoseyHope oh yeah, just did a search. .

The poor woman! You were very rude!

Yy MrsDeVere

mine hate being touched and this can be painful for them