to ask people not to touch toddlers not related to them?

[evalyn]

Out yesterday with DGC. DGC walking, within grabbing distance, but not holding hands. Middle aged woman, 'Aah, gorgeous!', gently ruffles DGC's hair, smiles broadly at me. DGC shrinks away. I say to this woman, 'Yes, but you shouldn't touch, please.' Woman sniffs, nose in air, walks off in huff.

AIBU to think that even 2-year-olds have the right not to be touched at all, however affectionately, by strangers? And to be really annoyed that this woman thinks she has the right to ruffle my DGC's hair like that?

And the not related is hilarious, what distance do you suggest I keep from my friends children?

Oh God, I moved a toddlers fingers out of a closing door yesterday. It might have been unnecessary, maybe his mum was about to do the same or he would have realised in time but decided to touch him

I spoke to a random tot in the supermarket yesterday too. He'd made a great job of unloading mum's shopping but she was getting a bit stressed trying to get him to stay close while she loaded her bags. I asked him to help put my shopping on the belt. Was that wrong too?

Humans need to exchange bacteria among their community, from adults to children. I suggest there's quite a natural human desire to meet this need - since those people who didn't would've been less successful reproducers. Of course, it may be that in a huge society we live today is very different to the small communities we lived in in the past, but given the excessive sterility of so many peoples environments these days I'd probably go for the opposite.

YABU.

I hear that bubble wrap is on sale at Staples. Better stock up.

You acted like a loon op.

What about when a toddler touches me? It's abuse.

I don't understand this mentality at all, maybe because I'm from a different culture but where I'm from people are tactile and children are showed lots of affection by strangers.

The other side to this is that because of these types of reactions people are very hesitant to touch a child at all even when it could be helpful. I have rushed through the shops with a newborn tucked under my arm calling to my 2 year old to stop & wait for mummy when someone left the door of the mums room open & he ran as I was feeding baby. Not one single person would stop him, they all just watched him run past. I would have been thrilled if someone had been brave enough to just stop him & say lets wait for mummy & hold his hand until I could catch up.

I recommend placing your child in a bio-hazard suit.

I never come across such precious people in rl

thankfully

If your DGC didn't want it, YANBU. I find it difficult to work out what's acceptable in regard to touching other people's DC.

Why do people always try to compare kids to adults on threads like this?

There are a whole host of things you'd do with a child that you wouldn't do with an adult.

For example, I would give my friend's 3yr old a piggyback round the park...whilst making loud horse noises as he shouts 'Giddy-up!!'

Would I do the same for my 82yr old Dad? Errrr, not so much....

Yabu! Yesterday a lovely lady spoke to my dd and stroked her cheek. I had no problem with this, it was done affectionately and caused dd no harm whatsoever. It's nice!

No wonder the woman was annoyed with you, you were very rude! She was trying to be nice!

Well you were very rude to say that - what's wrong with being a bit nicer about it and saying 'they're a bit shy and doesn't like having their heads touched' or similar? Instead you spoke to her like a naughty child. It's not surprising she got in a huff, you probably made her feel like shit.
Not touching children at all is your rule, I think it's odd and cold but there you go.
As an aside, why wasn't your Gc restrained in some way? Even the most compliant toddler can bolt with no warning. Get some reins or a little life backpack if they won't hold hands.

I am embarrassed for you to be honest. Perhaps you need professional help to assist you with this issue? Your poor child.

Wonders if the DGC in question will turn into one of those ypofs on daytime TV that tell the police" stop touching me. You ccan't touch me" over and over as they are arrested
Always makes me laugh. How do you arrest someone without touching them?

Oh go on Worra. He might like it

Coming from a nanny "Gosh I'm a nanny does that mean I'm not allowed to touch the kids I mind as I'm not related?" in the context of strangers touching children, maybe if you dont get this, a career change should be in order. What a stupid thing to say.

Honestly, how often does this actually happen? If it was happening on an hourly basis every day then of course, tell then to back off. But I suspect it's pretty rare a total stranger touches your GC so I think you are bring ridiculous precious and anti-social.

It's situations like you have described that has caused teachers to no longer feel able to comfort children, adults wary of approaching lost children incase of being labelled a peadophile. It's terribly sad and I think society is a worse place because of it.

Yabu and rude

"What about when a toddler touches me? It's abuse." An equally stupid thing to say.

OP, you really caught MN at a time where all the posters must be nummed, and got out of bed on the wrong side.

It's getting to be a sad society we live in

Hysteria on both sides here.

Some kids like it, but some don't. DD3 hates it- tho thankfully she's now progressed from outright screaming at strange people trying to talk to her to just looking away and pretending they're not there.

There's no harm in reminding people that no all kids enjoy "friendly" strangers trying to interact with them.

WorraLiberty I feel sad for your dad.

I think you massively overreacted.

I'm Jewish. I live in an area with lots if other Jewish famelies. Children are routinely clucked over by strangers. I think it's lovely. I like it when people tell me my DDs are beautiful and (sometimes) touch their hair. Why wouldn't I? My kids don't mind in the slightest.