to ask people not to touch toddlers not related to them?

[evalyn]

Out yesterday with DGC. DGC walking, within grabbing distance, but not holding hands. Middle aged woman, 'Aah, gorgeous!', gently ruffles DGC's hair, smiles broadly at me. DGC shrinks away. I say to this woman, 'Yes, but you shouldn't touch, please.' Woman sniffs, nose in air, walks off in huff.

AIBU to think that even 2-year-olds have the right not to be touched at all, however affectionately, by strangers? And to be really annoyed that this woman thinks she has the right to ruffle my DGC's hair like that?

I think when people's intentions are good, as in this case, you should let it go if no harm is done.

Your reaction to this woman obviously troubled you in hindsight as here you are on AIBU?

The very fact you need to ask is a strong indicator that you know what you said to her was uncalled for.

However.... In the spirit of ur bubz ur rules, hun, you are perfectly entitled to tell someone you don't like them touching your child. It's not the 'wrong' thing to do, but that doesn't make it any less appealing.

sorry but you were both unreasonable and incredibly rude op!!!

I was collecting dsc's from school I. Wednesday and dd wanted to walk (15 months) and was holding my hand. some random said hello to her, took her hand and was walking into school with us doing 1,2,3 swing with dd. a little odd I admit but totally harmless and dd loved it!!

What are the child's parent's views on this, OP?

This is scary.

I won't even attempt to come near anyone's child for fear of being told off or worse.

I wish everybody had puppies instead.

No touching or ruffling on the grumpy bench please MrsDeVere

Elbows, knees and feet should be tucked in at all times and look straight ahead.

Ottilia you really don't want to go around touching peoples puppies

Mrsdevere has said so eloquently what us mete mortals were hinting at
Fantastic post

A lady was struggling with her baby and her toddler was running ahead as they came out of the dr surgery. She shouted to the toddler to stop and wait but the little boy kept running towards the road. I stepped in front of him and put my arms out saying 'stop please, let's wait for mummy'. I crouched next to him and held his hand until she arrived. She was very grateful. I did wonder at the time if I was doing the right thing but she seemed to be relieved.

WorraLiberty I feel sad for your dad.

Can't stop laughing at this. Sorry Worra.

I love kids, not lucky enough to have any of my own, but that's life.
I don't ruffle hair of kids I don't know, on the bus or in a shop, but will smile at them, or tell parents that their kids are gorgeous. I've never met with any bad reaction.

OP I think you were rude to a well-meaning person.
Sad old world, if this is how everyone felt.

Move up you lot there on the grumpy bench and make room for me.

I know.

I shall lock myself in the house and only venture out with gloves and protective goggle, so as not even to glance at the temptation.

OP YABU. It's also good for immunity to come into contact with a myriad of other people.

My son had the curliest hair ever and we used to get practically mobbed by old ladies. I didn't mind as it was complimentary and good natured and did no long term or short term harm. I also make a point of never ignoring old people who are friendly to me as I know that I might be the only human contact they have that day.

When my other son was 2 we took him to Spain and the waiter even kissed him on the cheek and gave him a sweet. The utter bastard.

I think this is the only way forward

Bloody harsh. The woman must have been mortified. I am always thankful when strangers go out of their way to be nice to other strangers. Shame you're not the same op

Also, in my sons's school, the staff cuddle the smaller kids if they fall over or hurt themselves. Fine by me.

Oh god, this reminds me of the crazy golf thread. Remember, that one where the aunty was outraged that someone had reprimanded her nephew and,when challenged, retorted huffily that she had 'got her nephew's back'. She sounded barking too.

I made faces at a lovely toddler in the doctor's waiting room yesterday. We played peek a boo as her mum nursed a wee baby. We didn't even seem to speak the same language (I think her mum was Polish?) and I gave the toddler a big wink as I walked past on my way out.

Yabu OP.

This woman smiles, pais a compliment and ruffles the little ones hair. Wht a nice woman. I bet you made her feel terrible.

No point saying anything, you should have just smiled, thanked her for the comment and moved on. I would probably have said 'what a nice lady' to the child to let them know all was well. You will probably never see her again, what was to be achieved by telling her not to touch?

As for saying only relatives should touch that's bonkers! What about friends, nursary staff, school staff etc?

MissBattleaxe you have brought up exactly what I was going to post! This is so British!! Don't touch me, keep out of my personal space, stiff handshakes and then no one makes any more contact!
I spent 6 mths in South America. Greetings with complete strangers were tactile and involved kissing. You got into the habit of it and on my return to the UK I was considered very odd carrying on the same way!
There is nothing at all wrong with ruffling a cute kid's hair. YABU and uptight!

Oh dear evalyn massive over reaction and incredibly rude of you too.

Well I think you are being neglectful in not holding a toddlers hand,

The woman was fine.

Strange strange people.

"Yes but you shouldn't touch please."

Did you really say that?

Honestly?

We also have various photos and memories of my son being pampered abroard by people especially in restaurants and hotels. They talked to him, ruffled his hair, stroked his cheek, hugged him, picked him up, made him he favourite drinks, made him chefs hats, gave him sweets etc. And as for the old ladies on buses and in parks... You would never be able to leave your room OP!

Oh god, this reminds me of the crazy golf thread

Ohh, I liked that one! It was bonkers. Wasn't the nephew something ridiculous like 18mths?