no ex dh you can't wear speedos, you've let yourself go

[sazhamer]

Exdp takes dd 8 swimming regularly and all has been fine so far. Now I find out that she is being teased because he wears speedos to the pool. Aibu to think he should dress in a way that doesn't cause embarrassment? BTW he has let himself go and should not be wearing them.

This man is quite hot. Speedos are still wrong.

Speedo's are proper swimming attire for men. Trunks are OK if you're a surfer or just mucking about.

Let yourself go

For some it isn't a priority keeping hold of it in the first place.

Those who think it's inappropriate why? Women wear less material over their lower body when wearing a bikini.

Having said that, I don't own one, and wear trunks when with DD in the pool.

Inappropriate?

Togs? In a swimming pool?

Whatever next? Flipflops on the beach

they are practical swimwear for taking exercise. If he's in the pool who can see anyway?

I agree - we wouldn't allow 'fat women can't wear a bikini' so why is he restricted?

somebody needs to deal with the brats low-level bullying your daughter about her father's appearance.

In mainland Europe, all the men wear Speedos and the women all wear tiny bikinis, even the very old rather large ladies, any ladies, they don't wear all-in-one swimsuits! It's bikinis and mini trunks all the way.

I have a friend who comes from a country where you have to shower naked to use the pool, in communal showers. Saunas, all naked, all family in together. Not for me, too English, but not 'inappropriate'.

I'm from a swimming background and have no issue with speedo's.

I prefer not to see women in bikini's in public pools. Bikini's aren't functional for swimmers as bits fall out, pants fall down if you turn at the wrong angle, and they're not supportive. So what's the point of going swimming in one?

But that's my opinion and I'd never tell anyone they shouldn't wear one. Speedo's are supportive (more so than recreational shorts) and unlikely to fall down (which I've seen rec. shorts do on many occasions)

As long as the garment is fit for purpose- to swim and dive in- then the body or owner of the body is irrelevant. Nobody is too fat/short/thin/tall to go swimming, or wear a swimming costume.

I've actually had comments about my 5 year old in her swimming costume at a pool. Respect people's bodies and their right not to have it commented on.

Tough OP. Get over it. At least they're going swimming.

And yes, who is teasing her? How are people finding out, or are strangers in the pool teasing her in front of him?

Again, I think it's not about his body, or his trunks or speedos or whatever, but his rejection and dismissal of his 8 yo DDs request that he wears something else, because she's getting teased about her dad's appearance.

Nothing to do with whether we are comfortable in our skins, or entitled to wear string things or whatever.

He's refusing to do something his dd has asked him to do as she's being teased about his behaviour. Easy to see why this knob end is an X.

Time to storm the barricades with bikini burning on your own watch, when its just you who suffers the repercussions/ enjoys the benefits.

This is an 8 yo girl having problems because her dad couldn't be arsed to modify his behaviour to help her fit into her peer group.

Some supportive parent he is.

Venus

At no point does the OP say that her DD has said anything to her Dad about what he's wearing and what the other children are saying to her.

But don't let the facts get in the way of you making your point several times in one post

I totally disagree VenusRising one of my daughters hates that I wear black all the time, wants me to wear colours, tough, I don't care, I wear what I like. I would be very surprised if she was being teased (by whom? who would be there in the pool at the same time?) and if she is, the issue is with helping her stand up to teasing, not immediately conforming. Parents do wear embarrassing outfits sometimes, or have body shapes that get commented on, or have visible differences (hairstyles). I don't agree the answer is to change yourself, even if it is a little mortifying if your mother wears an extra low cut top or your father appears in budgie-smugglers or looks a bit 'inappropriate' to you.

How on earth does this end up being the dad's fault? That he is deliberately letting his daughter be bullied purely for his desire to show off his body?!

Would we be saying to mum that she needed to rethink her wardrobe or body shape because of what 8 year olds are saying?

venus so if my DC get teased because they are not wearing Nike Adidas or Cabrini should I go out I buy them clothes to stop the bullying.

I teach my DC you do not bend over backwards to bullies.

In this situation I would be saying that you either go swimming with your father and he can wear what the pool rules are, or swimming would stop.

I don't think speedos are appropriate and I don't think revealing bikinis are appropriate when taking a child swimming.
There are perfectly good trunk style shorts men can wear,still stay on and keep everything in but don't look like a chorizo stuffed into a whoopee cushion.

That well be sure not to leave the Uk then, if you venture onto a beach or pool in the Med you will be surrounded by both!

thatbloodywoman I think appropriate is the wrong word, it implies that he is doing something wrong. Bikinis aren't appropriate swimwear as they aren't practical as they slip etc.

I much prefer to swim in a two piece. It does not fall of/my boobs do not fall out and it covers me perfectly appropriately. Swimsuits do not really hide any more than a bikini.

I think it will depend on your bikini, the ones I have are great for a dip or sunbathing but if I'm doing lengths then they will slip and I prefer a one piece.

At least he's putting your DD first in taking her swimming, rather than being bothered that he's 'let himself go' as you so quaintly put it.

If parents felt they had to be body 'perfect' to take their kids swimming, the bloody pools would be empty.

You sound as shallow as the kids doing the teasing.

Chorizo stuffed into a whoopee cushion?

What does the female crotch resemble when it's covered in tight lycra, such as a swimsuit?

No,I think appropriate means appropriate Nick !
I think these are appropriate and practical.
I think something that showcases his male form such as budgie smugglers do,are inappropriate in this situation.

What does the female crotch resemble when it's covered in tight lycra, such as a swimsuit?

Cameltoe?

I'm surprised at all the speedo love on this thread. I rarely see British men wearing them and thought they were very passé. Clearly not among the women of mumsnet