To wonder why how you feed your baby is such an emotive subject?

[Absofrigginlootly]

Currently 3&1/2 weeks into BF my pfb/DD

Have had no end of feeding issues due to tongue tie, poor latch, constant cluster feeding, fractious baby and no sleep (alongside fertility issues, anxious pregnancy and very traumatic delivery)....

At my best moments I am feeling proud of the fact I've kept going so far. DD is putting on weight beautifully and following her centile line exactly. Lots of the daytime she seems happy and content.

At my worst (desperate!) moments (usually 3am when DD has been cluster feeding for hours and is being very fractious and i feel completely EXHAUSTED!) I think about all the advantages of FF (namely being able to share the feeds and have some physical/mental space from her for a while)......

But what stops me?! .....Guilt? Obligation? Self pressure? Desire to do what's deemed "right" or "best" for her?! Reading some of the feeding pages where people talk about expressing off pure blood etc (!) but still keeping going BF part of me reads it and thinks "gosh, why put yourself through it?!" ....but then I'm doing the same! Why.....? I don't know really if I'm honest.

What are your thoughts? Why do women persist despite the difficulties? Societal pressure? Guilt/obligation? And if you decided to FF, how did that make you feel? We're you fine with your decision?

Ps....please don't let this turn into a "breast is best"/ BF vs FF bunfight.....I am just genuinely interested to hear your thoughts, mainly as it may help me understand my own feelings that aim currently struggling with

Thanks :)

I struggled to bf my baby for 6 weeks but never managed to get him to latch on. At that point I was so miserable and tired from the endless rounds of trying, feeding expressed milk, feeding formula, pumping, sterilising and making up bottles (every 2-3 hours as he was prem) that I had to stop. If someone had told me that I hadn't tried hard enough I would have felt like ripping their head off. As it turns out my son has developmental delays but I am sure not being able to bf was symptom of this and not the cause of it.

Indeed Alpa - makes you wonder how conclusions are drawn - see lots of research on eggs, meat etc - it's a wonder we know what's good for us !!!

I'd like rock solid links to the direct evidence that formula feeding(and formula feeding alone) costs the NHS £40 million alongside figures of how much bfing costs.Pretty sure my dd's treatment alone in SCBU cost a pretty penny,then when you add in the PND treatment many bfeeding mothers having a shit time cost and the cost of bfing support.......

Wonder how they got the research for the gut re bf babies as very,very few babies are ebf and most digestive systems of babies are exposed to formula.

I read somewhere that they thought reducing ff saved £1m a year in the cost of formula on wards. Made me chuckle at the thought of how much providing the clinics and experts and expressing equipment costs!

I am not anti bf or ff. I've done what I thought was right for me and my babies everytime. I am anti the smug shite you get from bf mums who need to get a better job and/or hobby than giving a shit about other peoples babies. If you are going to give a shit about other peoples babies better to focus on the neglected, abused and at risk babies who would give anything to be ff or bf in a safe environment.

*some bf mums obv not all!

Pomme yes exactly.

Well all my babies were EBF and so were the babies of my friends - Im sure they managed to find at least 10 lePetit
Joking aside :

The study involved USA,UK and Denmark ( sorry on phone so cant link) and found that there were marked differences in beneficial (protective bacteria) in EBF babies and those who were FF or mixed fed.

UNICEF is the place to go for research. Loads of work has gone in to compiling studies and they break it all down into things there is weak or contradictory evidence for and things there is strong evidence for.

But very few are ebf so said benefits clearly really aren't worth worrying about.My babies like most were bf then ff.Their perfect guts later soiled with formula (like most) are just tickety boo thanks.

Pomme - seeing infant feeding as a public health issue, and having strong feelings about the value of breastfeeding - and being willing to express and explain those beliefs in the course of a general debate about the issue does not make you a bad person or judgemental of women who don't breastfeed. It's a perfectly fucking valid position to take and tends to be taken by those who know the most about the subject of baby feeding and the research into it.

So cease with the character assassination and the self-righteous huffing why don't you?

Just because you think it's not an important issue doesn't mean it isn't an issue.

I'm quite ok with you thinking it's all bollocks on the basis of.... well whatever. But be open minded enough not to want to crush down dissent on this subject by whipping up criticism of anyone who expresses an alternative opinion.

Forget the studies then, lets all fire off anecdotal evidence to finally wrap this up.

here

If you'd like to know why some people think this is an important issue - this is a good place to start your reading.

Um I lost all respect for that site when better parenting and less neglect were linked to bfeeding.

Seriously![ shock]

Not sure why you are so desperate for BF to be of no value LePetit

There is plenty of evidence that suggest it is and the health benefits to mothers which are rarely mentioned.

It has value to some but it is hugely overinflated and sorry I can 10 or 11 years later see in my 10/11 year olds zero benefits that I can attribute to the bfeeding they had.Actually when I weigh up the negatives of bfing I wonder if they outweigh any possible benefits in the first place.

Umm mini reread my post.

I am very much not anti studies and research and information. I think that it is great that we are now at the point where most mothers in the uk now try bf.

I just struggle to see an enormous crisis in loved babies being looked after and given formula. Maybe when all babies are loved and safe then comparatively we can all get hoikey pants about formula.

Helping women to bf who want to is, of course, a different thing.

LePetit
You cant identify benefit in individuals when it is related reduced risk
I wont be able to state that my DC didn't get that stomach bug or didn't get asthma because it didn't occur - it is a measure of overall rates in a group not in individuals.

Obviously BF wasn't for you and so your statement may be true but there were no negatives about BF for me as I loved every minute of it and it was a very positive experience.

So what I'm saying is pro bf should be a different thing to anti ff.

A bit like the wohm vs sahm debate I get a bit confused by people who don't use formula or childcare giving much of a shit about it. Don't want to use it? Don't use it.

That's great alpaca.

But that's not a reason to think everyone should do it or that it makes you a superior mother.

I don't think there is any response to that one petit. I think this thread has run its course. As predicted full of massive shoulder chips, sweeping generalisations about the horrors of bfing and the usual anecdotes. Hope things go well for you op, whatever you decide.

I didn't say that at all pomme
I was replying to lePetits about negative vs benefits - it is an individual thing .

Certainly makes me realise I made the right choice for sure.

I have no idea if I was breast or bottle fed (I am 60). i'm guessing bottle, purely from the knowledge I have of my mother's thinking. She died before I married so I never actually asked.
I am lucky that so far, I am pretty healthy.

I breastfed my children purely because I was told it safeguarded against cot-death, which for some reason I was terrified about. Probably because at the time, no-one really knew what possibly caused it.

My DGC are a mixture of breast and bottle. They are all healthy, happy children.

And I can't deny the bonding experience I feel when I am able to feed them.

Do whatever is best for you and your family. Like childbirth, the only outcome you want is a happy, healthy baby.

Can you honestly tell, ten years on, what method was used to feed a child in infancy?