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Original poster

To feel terribly guilty that DD will probably never go to Disneyland?

178 replies

JeremyKylesEyebrow · 19/11/2014 20:09

I know I am BU, but have PMS and due to unforeseen financial difficulties, we're looking at a tight Christmas.

DD's best friend is going to Disneyland this spring. She has been going ON and ON about it. DD, therefore, has also been going ON and ON about it.

DD's friend has really been rubbing it in a bit. She comes in to play at our house most days (they are 6) and the Disney talk is constant. She is understandably very excited. DD went to her house one day, and friend was showing her lots of videos of the place.

DD has been full of questions. Why can't we go to Disneyland? EVERYONE ELSE has been, etc etc. I've tried to explain to her that DH and I don't have much money, that different parents like to spend money on different things, that lots of children don't go to Disneyland. And also that I didn't want to hear any more about it, and that if we do go, it will be when she is older and can appreciate it more.

Tonight she ended up in tears, saying her friend was going on about it again, that she feels jealous.

This is all pretty unusual for DD. She isn't particularly fussed on Disney as a rule.

Anyway, I have just watched one of those bastarding Disney adverts and burst into tears. Because we're poooor, and I can't take DD to Disney and waah wah.

It doesn't help that DD's bio dad (who doesn't have any interest in her and doesn't pay maintenance) has been to Disney about six times with his current g/f and her daughter (DD doesn't know this)

I know I need a slap. I don't even WANT to go myself!

OP posts:
newgirl · 21/11/2014 13:05

IMO legoland and gullivers much more fun for a six year old.

Can annoying friend not visit for a year or two ;)

thegreylady · 21/11/2014 13:05

None of my dgc have been and if I won the lottery I would not take them. We'd go to the Rockies or the Great Lakes or to Tuscany or to a remote island. Plastic frilly tat is not an essential for any child.

Notbythehaironmychinnychinchin · 21/11/2014 13:08

OP I've never been to Disneyland and neither have my kids. But unlike you, my DC's best friend isn't CONSTANTLY going on about it to drive home the comparison.

I imagine Disney is an out of thhis world expereince otherwise how do they justify the cost? However, like many thing it's a mindset thing. I'd emphasise to your DD that she is not unlucky to not go as most people don't go, rather the best friend has been extrememly lucky to go. And hammer home the queues bit Grin

Disney is out of most people's reach, but there are other affordable things in this country or at a push Eurodisney may be within reach. Is there any chance later in 2015 she could go to something here? I'm thinking Peppa Pig world or whatever it is little ones like these days? My youngest got to see Sooty and Sweep in a provincial theatre and wouldn't have swapped it for 10 Disney trips. Cost us about 20. If you can think of something seh'd really really love but is affordable then it might take the edge off.

IsabellaofFrance · 21/11/2014 13:08

I do feel our pain OP.

My DD is part of a group of BF, who are all 5 or 6. All the other three have been to Disneyland, but my DD hasn't.

But I hate the idea of going, and the prices Shock. I also think that there are loads of things that DD does that her friends haven't, so it all balances out in the end.

KERALA1 · 21/11/2014 13:09

We went to eurodisney last oct. Honestly honestly it was rubbish. It's entirely emperors new clothes. Was like a slightly tatty theme park with lots of queues. Girls of 8 and 6 enjoyed it but not in a life changing way. The most fun they had was in a little park there which was not as good as our local park. We had more fun at the zoo and definitely more fun at paul tons park.

Varya · 21/11/2014 13:12

My mother used to say, you can go when you are earning your own money, which I think is a good policy.

Boomtownsurprise · 21/11/2014 13:13

I'm thoroughly confused. Is your child in some way very sick....? (At which point a charity might help) Why couldn't you go together at some point...? I went at 14. And again at 30.

Euro Disney is brilliant. There's multitudes of ways to not spend fortunes. And no reason why you can't go with her before her 60th birthday. You do know she's always your daughter right? Not just til she's 12...?

IsabellaofFrance · 21/11/2014 13:15

Could you take her to Disney on Ice OP?

MillionToOneChances · 21/11/2014 13:15

I took my kids to DisneyWorld in Florida for a week. Wasn't tooo expensive as we were visiting my mum in the US anyway, budget flights and budget villa rental, self catering, sandwiches and mum and ex-h subsidized the cost for me a bit. It was fun. They liked it.

Then immediately after we got back from the US my ex-h took them to Legoland for the day. They went on and on about one of these experiences for months afterwards and - HINT - it wasn't Disney. Scrape together some Tesco points and go to Legoland.

momb · 21/11/2014 13:23

My kids have been to Disneyland Paris. I certainly got more out of them enjoying it than they did themselves IYSWIM when they were small, but we went back when the smallest could go on all but the biggest rides and got more out of it. The holidays/experiences that my 10YO remembers most clearly?: music festival, wild camping, sleeping on friend's floor for a week. Disney doesn't even make the top 10!

curiousgeorgie · 21/11/2014 13:25

Threads like these will always be full of people saying how much they hate Disney. And unbelievably, that their DC prefer the Eiffel Tower to Disneyland Hmm

Disney Paris is great, but Orlando is incredible. We took our DD's last month. It's bloody extortionate (about 12k) for 2 weeks... But it's magical and the happiest I've ever seen them.

If you can ever afford it, you should go. But if you can't, YANBU. It's not a right, but it is absolutely amazing.

Summerisle1 · 21/11/2014 13:30

Actually, my dcs were much more interested in other offerings in Paris - a city we regularly visited. They still rave about the catacombs. Full of skulls and tremendously creepy! So it isn't exactly unbelievable to prefer other attractions over Eurodisney.

MrsDeVere · 21/11/2014 13:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

IsabellaofFrance · 21/11/2014 13:34

DD loved the Eiffel tower - she still talks about it, as does my DS2 who has ASD.

But best of all they loved the ferry Grin

curiousgeorgie · 21/11/2014 13:34

It is. Seriously. Small children prefer buildings to rides / ice cream & Mickey Mouse??!

I don't believe a word of it.

Ehhn · 21/11/2014 13:36

My oh and I got a free pass to Disney through some offer. You could look out for similar? HOWEVER, I would like to say Disney land was utter expensive awfulness, plastic, dirty, grubby, miserable. If we had paid to go, we would have been very angry and disappointed.

I know your dd won't believe you,but from adult to another - even if you saved for ages to go, you would probably massively regret wasting your hard earned and saved cash. She will get over it - make other, exciting - cheaper!- plans. Maybe scale back on friend for a while, or have a quiet word with the mum.

Gemzybelle · 21/11/2014 13:37

Took my dd to Disneyland two years ago. Spent a vast amount of time queuing (particularly to see Disney princesses) and spent a lot of money on very little.

It's a nice experience I suppose but your child is not going to suffer by not going. When asked about her favourite holidays now Disneyland rarely gets mentioned

Summerisle1 · 21/11/2014 13:38

Whether or not you believe it is immaterial. Those of us who know differently know differently! The Eiffel Tower, to quote your example is, in any case, far more than just a building as are many of the other attractions in Paris. Not every child thinks Mickey Mouse is in any way magical either.

IsabellaofFrance · 21/11/2014 13:38

Not everyone buys into the Disney hype though. And we had Ice Cream in Paris.

What my DD would not buy into is spending hours at a time queuing to see Mickey Mouse.

seagull70 · 21/11/2014 13:41

OP, it never occurred to us to take ours to Disney Land. I can't think of anything I'd enjoy less to be honest.

All that fakey fakey herd mentality.

kilmuir · 21/11/2014 13:41

We have been with our 4dc, i hated it, they thought it was ok.
Not an event i wish to ever repeat

curiousgeorgie · 21/11/2014 13:43

Isabella - we went during term time as my DD's are 4 and 17 months. Hardly queued... It was amazing.

I've been to Paris maybe 10 times, it's lovely, it's a great weekend with DH or my friends.. But it does not compare to Disney World for most children.

IsabellaofFrance · 21/11/2014 13:47

You went in term time and spent £12k Shock.

Maybe my DC's are not most children, and if being over awed by Disney is most children, then I for one am glad.

GooodMythicalMorning · 21/11/2014 13:48

We went in 2013 and going to disneyland again in feb. Really looking forward to it. Yes it's expensive and we save and sacrifice other things to go. We don't have expensive hobbies or shop a lot and neither smoke or drink. It will be better this time as dd is bigger and can do more.

HappyAgainOneDay · 21/11/2014 14:04

When I was about 9 and the ice cream man came round, my parents always said, "No," when my sister and I asked for an ice cream. In the end, we stopped asking and just sat on our front step watching others queueing up for them

My grammar school organised a trip to France (Biarritz) for those in the top French group (I was 13 or 14 at the time) and I was the only one in the group who didn't go - because my parents couldn't afford it. I wanted to go but accepted that I couldn't because I was used to going without. I still achieved a good mark in my O level though :-)

I'm sorry to say that you'll just have to get used to saying, "No." Your DD will become used to it if you just explain that there is not enough money in the bank / purse / pot.