To screen shot this woman's fiances messages

[Fanfeckintastic]

I'm sick to death of seeing cheating slimeballs every where I go!
In my year and a bit of singledom I really saw it all and got propositioned by so many unlikely apparently loved up husband's and partners I have a whole new view on (most) men!

Anyway, I use a Facebook selling page and a couple of times when I've posted a question or a product for sale I get private messages from a random man trying to make conversation, well yesterday the guy was obviously in a serious relationship and was engaged, pics of his partner as his cover photo, the girls name listed quite clearly in the relationship status etc.
So I just saw red for this poor woman and screen shot his creepy messages and sent them to her stating I wasn't trying to cause trouble but I would want to know if I was in her shoes. She didn't reply and I'm glad but I'm feeling pretty awful to be honest, it seems really juvenile doesn't it? But I'm sick of men getting away with this stuff because nobody speaks up!

I do realize it probably seems a bit involved or like drama hunting but I'm honestly just so sick of seeing this stuff go on, plus I would absolutely want to know if it was the other way around! Especially if I was set to marry the guy, well even if I was giving him an iota of my time.

I can kind of understand why people think it was the wrong thing to do but I suppose it's just a difference of opinion. It still doesn't sit entirely well with me but I am glad I did it and would probably do it again.

I think you did the right thing. If I was receiving the message I probably wouldn't like to read it but would appreciate opportunity to find out.

To the poster that mention she may have slit her wrists. OP may have avoided the woman from slitting her wrists at a later date when she is married with kids, more financial ties with this sleaze bag and she finds out her hubby has got some random pregnant!.

But has she read it op? Like others have said I can just see it sitting in her others folder for ages.

You did the right thing, I would so much rather know, if I was in her position.

In your messages, does your message to her show as read yet?

I've done it a few times but I've known the mans wife/girlfriend pretty well.

The others I just ignore or say 'don't think 'partners name' would be happy if she saw this' they fuck off then.

I would've done it too, if more people outed the sleazy bastards then perhaps they'd think twice!

YANBU. You did the right thing. What she does with the info is her business.
I'm really fed up with people going all "don't interfere" over this sort of crap. Why should we (collectively) cover up for sleazeballs?

Good point about it being in her 'other' folder though, Fan!

No it still hasn't been read but she's definitely been on Facebook because her profile picture has been changed, so it is just sitting like a ticking time bomb. That makes me feel very uneasy!

I'd give her a fb 'poke' for good measure, to make my presence known. Having been cheated on in the past, I'd like to think that someone would expose my partner to me if he was trying to 'expose himself' to them!

If I've messaged someone I don't know well, I post on a mutual friend's wall asking them to tell the person I've messaged. Some people never check their inbox, let alone the 'other' folder.

Or you could post it on his page to be certain it is seen.

I'm another one that would want to know about that type of behaviour in a man I was involved with. I would be more than grateful.

Chances are it's gone into her "Other" message folder and she might not see it for months.

A relative of mine sent me a message via FB back in July and it went into my Others folder - I only noticed a couple of weeks ago!

So, the op runs a business, some creep sends her messages, and instead of telling him no, she:

Goes on to his fb profile to have a look at his relationship status,

Goes on to the gf's profile and has a look at their mutual photos (let's bear in mind op knows neither of these people)

Sends the gf the screenshot message

Goes to see if she's read it then has another stalk of the profile to see she's changed her profile picture.

And people think this is ok? Really? (hmm)

oh and then to post about it on mn for a "well done" pat on the back. (Hmm)

The man is a sleeze, but the op sounds like a drama loving attention seeker.

Has she read it yet?

If she's not a friend of yours it will go into the others box, which is hidden when you are using a phone. Write something on her wall, like messaged you, please check your other box

Or, you could take this opportunity to butt out.

Why get so overly involved

You could have reported him if you felt uneasy though fb are rubbish at moderation but that is a different matter

And now you have created a drama with people wanting to know more about what is happening to this couple who you know nothing about

I would look at your actions op

I'm just amazed so many posters seem to be focusing on how as an adult he can choose to do what he likes, and think it's okay for a man to send an unsolicited message sexually propositioning a woman through her business page. Forget the infidelity aspect, that's entitled misogyny. He is treating the OP like a prostitute just because she has a business online. He invited himself into this situation and if there is fall out from making something hidden public that will be due to the reasons it was hidden by him in the first place, not the OP's actions.

OP maybe you could do a volunteering position in a charity shop a few hours a week?

I am not sure anyone has said it's ok for him to send such messages fb should have a better system where you can report

We know nothing about this couple or their lives apart from what is on fb and now it's being played out like a drama on TV what is happening next

Telling a friend someone you can support and know is different you can be supportive what support can the op offer now to this woman

And as for I would want to know you know sometimes people don't, they know but they are not in a position to deal with it but what choice has she now

bigblue I already volunteer thanks, along with my actual job.

By the way I do not run a business page, I just use a local selling page occasionally. In this instance I asked if anybody knew of dance or drama classes around for a 3 year old.

I'm wondering weather all these women saying I'm a crazy attention seeker would like to know if they were the woman I messaged? Something tells me you wouldn't.

I think it's their lesson to learn though- not yours to teach them.
It's part of growing up learning how to spot a rat.

It's part of growing up? A lot of women never smell the rat and it causes immense pain to them and children arising from their marriages to aforementioned rats etc. MN is obsessed with whose 'job' things are. I would rather judge on whether it's likely to be helpful information in the long term. I don't see what the obsession is with needing to support the woman through it, either. It's simply giving her some evidence which SHE as an adult can judge and use in a whatever way she sees fit. Yes, it might be painful but the pain is caused by the action, not by the messenger.