To screen shot this woman's fiances messages

[Fanfeckintastic]

I'm sick to death of seeing cheating slimeballs every where I go!
In my year and a bit of singledom I really saw it all and got propositioned by so many unlikely apparently loved up husband's and partners I have a whole new view on (most) men!

Anyway, I use a Facebook selling page and a couple of times when I've posted a question or a product for sale I get private messages from a random man trying to make conversation, well yesterday the guy was obviously in a serious relationship and was engaged, pics of his partner as his cover photo, the girls name listed quite clearly in the relationship status etc.
So I just saw red for this poor woman and screen shot his creepy messages and sent them to her stating I wasn't trying to cause trouble but I would want to know if I was in her shoes. She didn't reply and I'm glad but I'm feeling pretty awful to be honest, it seems really juvenile doesn't it? But I'm sick of men getting away with this stuff because nobody speaks up!

He subjected you to the messages Fan, I wouldn't feel bad about dropping him in it...it was his decision to do it. You are allowed to react however you do.

OK, that is sleazy.

I'd be very uncomfortable about giving that kind of news to someone I couldn't help but I understand why you did it.

Of course ultimately if the fiancée has done something awful (which let's face is very unlikely) it will be his fault, that's not going to help the poor woman and OP would have to be made of stone not to suffer some disquiet about it.

Your messages have probably gone into her "other" folder and she has not seen them. They will sit there like a ticking bomb until she spots this other folder one day

Good for you. Hopefully she hasn't responded because she's too busy packing his stuff up.

Eurgh, what a git. The more we women get together and insist that this is not acceptable behaviour, the better.

I'd have been tempted to send the messages to her, then send them to her and him, telling him you've done so. His panic at being caught out would be amusing and probably draw her attention to the message in the first place...

Not really getting why you are involving another adult in an adults behaviour.

Personally I would have ignored him and reported him to FB.

Why is his behaviour to be censored by an adult? He's not a child. He's responsibly for his own behaviour.

You are running a business through social media and it happens like time wasters and poor payers.

You should see some of the messages I get advertising as a cm.

Either ignore or report to the authorities. Anything else is well dodgy in my opinion.

I just hate this idea that men are littlie boys to be reported to their wives or girlfriends for a telling off.

It's outrageous to suggest that the blame for a husband/fiance's revolting sleaziness should lie at the feet of the entirely innocent woman who pointed it out.

OP, you did the right thing. Do not even doubt it for a minute.

Wow, I'm really surprised how many people think this was a bad idea too.

Completely agree with the poster who said that maybe if this sort of thing wasn't allowed to stand then it would happen less.

Plus, it's harassment of a sort. If we're going to play 'what if' then what if you were a rape victim who was triggered by him sending that message? But oh no, best not tell his fiancee in case she's so upset by it that she kills herself? Christ on a sodding bicycle.

You have a very strange world view thebody

I assume the OP hasn't reported this man to his fiancée for a "telling off" but so she can make an informed decision as to whether she really wants to legally bind herself to this man for life.

I think you did the right thing

And to the poster that suggested the woman could have slit her wrists, what a revolting thing to say to somebody. As somebody who has lost someone to suicide and blamed myself, your message couldn't offend more.

Teeb "Why is it the women who are responsible for a mans actions?"

The woman is not responsible for the man's actions. The man is responsible for the man's actions and he should have been told to fuck, the fuck off.

What no one knows is whether telling the partner is helpful to her or hindering him. That's the point, a random message from a stranger without any way of following up or insight into the relationship won't necessarily have the desired effect. Believe it or not, some people like living in ignorance about their partners behaviour. We cannot make them listen or know about it against their will.

No one is blaming the OP. We all do spur of the moment things. she was questioning whether she has done the right thing. Some think yes, some think no. She can take it all on board and come to her own conclusions

And I agree that suicide comment was ridiculous.

I agree with bonkers, I think that your message has probably gone into her others folder.

I think you did the right thing. I would definitely want to know that my fiancé was doing this - not so I could give him a telling off, but so that I could call off the wedding and save myself a whole load of hassle with a divorce.

If it is an open relationship then the other woman can just ignore the email.

I think you did the right thing and I would certainly want to know if I was with that kind of sleaze ball.

jack no I don't think I go really just maybe not agreeing with the crowd. That's fine here isn't it.

These circumstances are op is,

Running a business,

Had no idea who this man is or his circumstances as she doesn't know him,

Has no idea what his relationship is or who this woman is

The man is an adult and responsible for his own actions. I can fully see the op reporting his sleezy comments to the moderator of the site that's fine.

However this 'women all sticking together to report back on a mans behaviour' is the very atmosphere that fosters such behaviour.

Men are not children and neither the op or the woman involved are responsible for his behaviour. He is.

The biggest concern here is that he says he lives near the op!

That's potentially nasty and threatening so needs reporting. To the relevant site or authorities.

You did the right thing. If he's engaged, he should be writing messages he's happy for his betrothed to see. You forwarded his messages. If she's happy, allis well. If not... Truth is on the table, where it should be.

Good on the op..

so many people just brush it away, that's why so many men will chance it, I'm not saying it will stop the men cheating but if it helps stop random women getting these messages good on them.

I have a friend who regularly gets very sexual messages on her facebook from married/engaged/single men.. Its pure filth she posts the screen shots on her facebook page.

example of one of the many;

Man- Hey sexc wnt 2 let mi F* them T** of yurs
Friend- Please leave me alone I'm not interested and will post this to your gf
Man- dnt b lyk tht bbe send me a pic ;)
Friend- Seriously stop I will screen shot this and share it
Man- jst get ya T out ya sla so I can cum all ova em

Its messed up and the only way these guys so in the end stop the messages is when she shares them publicly, most of the gf's/wifes etc have thanked her for sharing so they can see exactly what their partners have done and give them that confirmation of what they suspected was going on but could ever prove.

Well if this was me I would thank you! I would want to know defo! I hate cheating b***

I don't think it's about who's responsible though thebody. Of course the man is responsible, it's about who stands to get hurt, which is potentially his fiancée.

Would have done the same thing

Good for you. I'd appreciate it and I'd do the same