Aibu to tell my sister to suck it up

[Vodkajellies]

I've booked a trip to Disneyland for dcs birthday originally it was just going to be myself and dcs my sil asked if she could come so we booked everything and it was all paid up and my dsis asked if she could come but as the room was full she had to pay a reduced price for an extra room all was fine until exdp said he'd really love to join us after the last few months it would be a turning point
for us,I've given him the price of adding himself on and told my dsis about she is now refusing to go as she doesn't like exdp (neither do I but its besides the point) anyway she said he can buy her tickets which are almost twice as much as what I've told him he has to pay and I know if I tell him it's more it will cause an argument and he will probably end up not coming.
So would I bu to tell dsis it's tough I've given ex the price he has given me the money or tell ex he has to pay to more? U know their his dcs and he's a shit but he's not rolling in it.

It's not childish op, when you're going on holiday, not cheap, and you want to invite someone else, it's good manners to check with the person you're going with!? Your sil barely knows your ds, you should have asked her too

I never said he was unwilling to pay he has given me the money for the fare tickets and hotel.
Yes sil is his dsis when we booked myself sil and all dcs were going to be in one room as there was no room left after dsis asked to come she had to book her own room so she would be staying on her own now ex is coming he will stay with sil in one room and I will stay with dsis and my dcs In the other she will not be losing any money by him coming.

I mean suck it up and come it's a trip of a lifetime for all of us and she has no dcs.

Its hardly the trip of a lifetime if she's spending it with your deadbeat ex who she doesn't like.

She hates him though. For treating you like shit. She shouldn't have to suck it up, I think it's understandable.

So if she decided not to come as you had changed the arrangements she would get all of her money back?

You said yes to your sister so it was hers, yours and DC's holiday. Not just yours and DC's holiday anymore. You really should have spoken to your sister before letting ex join you. It would have been the polite and considerate thing to do.

Tbh honest yes I do think I've done the right thing in having him come and yes I do think it would make it extra special for dcs to have their dad come with us.
I can put aside my feelings towards him and I have done for my dcs sake I don't hate him I just don't like him but he's their dad shes their aunt they are both going to be in their life and the reason we haven't spoken for a little while is because there has been a lot of tension between over a lot of things most of which has been somewhat resolved we can and always have been able to get along in front of dc.

Or why didn't you run it past your sister? Do you make all the decisions for everyone?

That's great that you feel like you can do that, but effectively what you have done is booked a holiday, taken your sis money changed the holiday and said if you don't like it tough

DC's will always have Ex, SIL, sis and yourselves in their lives. It doesn't mean you have to all go on holiday together, it's not like you all get on amazingly.

And you still haven't said if she would get a full refund if she decided that she is not willing to shell out for a holiday with someone she doesn't like, who was invited without asking her after she had booked and paid it

I understand and yes she will get a refund if she doesn't come but if ex cannot get the extra for name change then he won't be coming either and there will still be an atmosphere if sis does end up coming.

OP, you obviously think you've done the right thing, so why bother asking?!

YABVU by the way. You don't have to holiday with your ex just because you have DC together. That's generally a bad idea.

Because it was a spur of the moment thing as it was when dsis asked to come it came up in conversation they asked I said yes they've both given me their money it's been paid so what do you do?

YAB massively U
If my sister invited her Ex on our planned trip , I'd expect a full refund and would be pissed of at her
He's a prized cunt and I can't stand him
It would ruin the holiday to be honest
Uninvite him and go along with your sister as planned
Then when you come back try and build bridges with the man that you said yourself you didn't like

So, just go with sil as originally arranged before all the changes occurred.

If xdp can't afford the difference that's that.

Did you talk it over with your sister before you invited your Ex along??

You accept that your Dsis doesnt want to go on holiday with your ex, give her the refund, if you want your ex there, then maybe you and your SIL can help with the extra cost of the name change.

You have caused the problem so perhaps you should make sure nobody is out of pocket.

How does your sil feel about xdp coming? (Or does she not know yet )

I never said that I had to because we have dc.

Maybe I was wrong for not asking her but as I've said I never knew she didn't like him enough to pull out of a holiday whenever they have been around each other they always seem to get on even after we broke up so no I didn't see it as a problem.

I can't see any wants or demands from ExDP

As far as I can see

You booked a holiday for just you and the DC's, your SIL then wanted to go, then the Dc's DF wanted to go. Don't really see the issue. It isn't about your SIL it's about your DC. Have you told your SIL that you're putting all your differences aside as this trip is about your DC's and their birthday and not really about what they want.

Have you asked your DC's who they want there? If they want your ex then i'd let him go and tell your SIL she is always welcome but this is and always was about your Dc's so you'll be doing what makes them happy

Well now you know she doesn't like him or want him there
So what are you going to do about it ?