Aibu to tell my sister to suck it up

[Vodkajellies]

I've booked a trip to Disneyland for dcs birthday originally it was just going to be myself and dcs my sil asked if she could come so we booked everything and it was all paid up and my dsis asked if she could come but as the room was full she had to pay a reduced price for an extra room all was fine until exdp said he'd really love to join us after the last few months it would be a turning point
for us,I've given him the price of adding himself on and told my dsis about she is now refusing to go as she doesn't like exdp (neither do I but its besides the point) anyway she said he can buy her tickets which are almost twice as much as what I've told him he has to pay and I know if I tell him it's more it will cause an argument and he will probably end up not coming.
So would I bu to tell dsis it's tough I've given ex the price he has given me the money or tell ex he has to pay to more? U know their his dcs and he's a shit but he's not rolling in it.

midnite to me and dcs it is a trip of a lifetime I'm not rich nor are any of the people involved.

Your choice to swallow his past wrongs for the sake of your dc is yours. A good choice because they are your dc and everyone should try to do what then can if they have dc within reason. However expecting other people to do the same is unreasonable. He behaved badly to you and your sisters loyalty is to you first and foremost then your dc - whose lives have been irrevocably affected by his actions too - of course she's angry with him, why wouldn't she be?!

You're not asking them to make nice in a restaurant for a few hours, you're expecting them to jolly along for days (and nights) and never let tension show because of the dc. That's a huge huge ask and to do it without even a thought about their feelings is pretty unbelievable tbh. You are being massively self centred, there is more in life than you and your dc and your feelings. Being a separated family means one or other of you will miss out on some things, he made that choice for all of you when he cheated. Why are you wanting you and your family to bend over backwards for him?

Wrt your dc, I'm sure they'd love it if daddy was there - but they'd still love it if there had never been a thought of him going. You're going too far.

Blimey you are being totally unreasonable.

Before adding extra people to a holiday you consult with those already going. Who wouldn't do that? At the point your sis booked and paid she knew what she was signing up to. A bit of fun with 3 women and kids, sounds great.

You then have a third party wanting to come. This changes the dynamics whoever they are never mind it being your ex who you don't like and your sis don't like either. When he asked you should have told him that you had no objections but would need to make sure the others were happy. Even if your sis liked your ex, this is not the holiday she thought she was getting. How can you not see that? I wouldn't like it and I wouldn't dream of doing it to someone else.

Fwiw, I am taking DS to DLP in Feb on our own. If I agreed for a couple of female friends to tag along, I wouldn't dream of then inviting DS dad! You can do other family trips at another time should you wish too.

Your poor sister. I just hope you don't end up having a miserable time with him. Its one thing to start bring civil with someone but quite another to go on holiday with them...

YABU

You changed the agreed holiday therefore your sister is entitled to pull out, if that means it costs more money you should suck it up as your sister is entitled to a full refund.

The only selfish person is you as you have failed to consider what the other people paying good money for a holiday think before allowing extra people to come.

Judging by you still arguing after all these people stating YABU it's clear you won't actually listen though.

YABU, both to your sister and also because of the complete and utter lack of punctuation in your posts.

Yes but your sister was going/ paid first

Split the extra charges in 3, you, ex & sis pay a third each.

Job done.

YABVU.

Yes you booked the holiday, but as soon as you agreed to let the others come and they paid then you should also have considered it their holiday too and consulted them.

Also, your DSis paid for her holiday thinking she would have her own room... Now she's expected to share a room with you and your DC? That's not what she signed up for. I wouldn't want to share a room with my DSis & DN while on holiday, I like my own space.

I think you made a mistake as you weren't thinking about everyone but seem completely unwilling or unable to consider you screwed up. You made a snap decision with your kids in mind but it wasn't the greatest decision.

I don't blame your DSis for pulling out - I would too.

'She has gotten for doing this' and'this is what she's like' .......

What is the real problem here? Do you not want to go with your sister anyway?

I just cannot believe that you can't understand her point of view.

• 'got form for this'

You've clearly made your mind up that your cheating fuckit of an ex whom you dont like means more to you than your own sister ( i think that statement about not liking him is untrue btw ) and you don't see that there's anything wrong with this new set up
And you call YOUR SISTER selfish

99.9% of people have said YABU yet you STILL can't see it
You are the selfish one and are clearly very self absorbed.
I feel very sorry for your sister

They both gave you money after the booking was made? So exp was on the original booking..or he now want to be added

You've totally moved the goal posts with this holiday. But as long as you're fine, why give a flying fk about how anyone else feels

Its goes like this Monster, Op books, SIL wants in gets added and pays, Dsis wants in, gets added and pays, exp wants in, gets added and pays.

Confusing a little.

But it must have been booked for op, sis and dsil and not exp originally if it will cost exp more to have sis tickets transferred to exp's name

Well you have all made your point clearly I am an unreasonable selfish cow.

I don't like him but I can tolerate him as someone said we have dcs they don't so she doesn't have to speak to him and if I didn't want to go on holiday with any of them I would have said no it's as simple as that.

bastard I've said I do understand her point of view.

YABU although I don't think you're reading the replies so not sure what difference it makes

This

Yeah, the comment about you not liking your ex is definitely untrue. I certainly wouldn't book 'the holiday of a lifetime' (your words) then go with someone I didn't like.

Just like your Dsis, funnily enough.

But you paying out a fortune and tolerating exp for the sake of the your children is completely different to expecting your sister to pay out a fortune and forced to do the same when exp is feck all to do with her

Hello sister my ex is now coming on holiday with us, ive took the money off him, oh by the way, you no longer have your own room that you paid for as I'm sharing with you so that ex can stay in my original room with his sister.

I think it's cheeky to assume she'd be fine with sharing her room regardless of who the extra person tagging along is to be honest.

Good. The penny has dropped. Now sort it out fairly.

I adore my sister and my nieces and would love a holiday with her.

Can't stand her husband and struggle to spend an evening with him.

YABU.