To leave ds to scream in his cot tonight...

[listsandbudgets]

because I can't manage to deal with him tonight.

He's 2+4. EVERY NIGHT of his life he's screamed endlessly at bedtime. We tried going to him, lying down with him in the dark, cosleeping singing to him, letting him come downstairs, cuddling him, ignoring him, sitting holding his hand, seen GP and had various cchecks carried out to make sure he's not in some kind of pain...

but still he screams endlessly "MAMA,MAMA, MAMA, MAMA, MAMA...

Over and over again.

We finally get him off to sleep about an hour - two hours after putting him to bed (I say we its normally me as dp works away Monday to Thursday and someetimes longer).

He then wakes at 3am and it all happens again until about 4.30-5am.

Its affecting my mental health. I keep losing my temper, keep bursting into tears for no reason, I can't function properly at work and I'm facing a disciplinary for mistakes, I feel like everyone hates me and I wouldn't blame them

I've not had a full nights sleep since 3 months before he was born.

I can 't do it any more. I just can't do it....

AIBU to sleep in teh spare room with a pillow over my head and let him scream?

You'll all flame me I know you'll flame me and I deserve it.

He's still screaming I put him to bed at 8pm and I've already been in and given him 2 X10 minute cuddles

OP i got a brilliant little book for my dcs called "but i dont want to go to bed" and it was one of their favourites. It was about a tiger cub who ran away when it was bedtime and went looking for his friends to play with but they were all settling down for bed and eventually he got very tired and wanted to go to bed himself. Sounds like just the story for your DS.

He's sceaming again :( Damn thought it had worked

I'm another one suggesting Ann at Nurturing Sleep. It sounds like your DS has some pretty deep-seated emotional issues around sleep which may be worsened by CC/CIO. If CC works for you (it didn't for my DS - it made him worse and I followed it absolutely consistently and to the letter each if the several times I tried it) it may not have a lasting effect. Ann is an absolute genius at pinpointing the emotional side of things and giving lasting results without leaving to cry. It's not a quick fix - six or seven weeks - but it's a lasting one. Please PM me if you'd like more info.

I'd be tempted to go to bed and get some much needed sleep (and try not to lay there expecting him to wake up)!

Having said that, have you thought about what you will do if he does wake in the night? You mentioned he wakes at 3am and it starts again. Take a deep breath, stick with this evenings plan again and you will crack this. It might not be a miraculous overnight job (although obviously hoping it will be!) but you are doing so so well and making real progress. You really are.

Thats ok! Dont worry it is to be expected. You are doing really well. Just stick with what you are doing. Go in, kiss, cover with blanket and out. Same routine each time. It will get better. Youre doing fab!

My DS was 21 months old when we worked with Ann, BTW, so not much younger than yours is now. Prior to that's he'd been awake every one to two hours all night, every night since birth. He now sleeps through pretty reliably and bed times are lovely.

Start again OP. He's testing what's happening. It's all he knows and it's all you've known. You can do this.

Try to get some sleep, love.

Didn't go in. It only lasted a minute or so. Going to bed. Thanks everyone will continue the saga tomorrow evening

Be strong lists you are being such amazing mum and strong woman. Sleep well tonight with hopefully no screaming x

Hope you get some kip lists.

You're doing really well.

Just checked in to see how tonight was.

You've done really well - not cracking is the key, but can be the hardest thing.

Keep sticking with it, it may take a few nights, but it WILL work in the end.

Good luck with the rest of the night

Im off to be pd myself. Hope someone around 3am if needed for lists. Be strong lists and sleep well x

Bed not pd why my tried ipad did that i dont know...

Good luck darling

Good luck, you are doing so well!

Not read everything, but my dd has just turned two and is not a great sleeper. We've asked nursery to cut her nap down from one hour to max half hour - and some days she doesn't have one at all now.
More than half an hour and a truly crap night is on the cards - but not as bad as it sounds for you.
Hang on in there.

I'm up just after 5 so Ill check the thread then .

Good luck, hope you both get a decent sleep.

I had to do this with DD when she was about 18 months. She took hours to settle and had woken every 45 minutes every night of her life. I was on my knees because I got up with her every night bar one when I'd booked myself into a hotel .

I used controlled crying out of desperation,starting with her afternoon nap, and she got it in one (we did get up to 14 minute intervals though).

I didn't and don't feel one ounce of guilt, she's 2.5 now and still goes down happy as Larry every night

I remember DH saying 'I can't believe she's not screaming, what have you done?"

Stay strong! We had to do this with ds2. Hated doing it but we were at breaking point! Even now he takes a while to fall asleep but he stays in bed and just chats to himself! Which is fine by me.

Hang in there OP. It sounds really tough and I do sympathise with the whole only getting in from nursery late and then having to do bedtime etc.

Good luck OP. Just read your earlier thread that said that he's having over 2 hours sleep at nursery in day time. Yes definitely get them to cut that down drastically - always found that restricting daytime sleep was the answer to night time sleep. He should be looking to drop that sleep entirely in the next six months so definitely cut it down now. Hopefully then he should be more tired at bed time and therefore settle quicker

Good luck, OP. I did cc with my DS (now 12) when he was 18m. DD didn't go to sleep by herself until she was 4 and didn't sleep through until she was 6y and there was no way on earth I was going to go through that again, so my willpower was magnificent with him!! It took just three nights (well, only the first night was bad) and from then on he went to bed like a lamb. The added bonus, which my sleep-deprived mind hadn't even thought of, was that because he learned to go to sleep all by himself at bedtime, he could also go back asleep if or when he woke up in the night. Keep strong, OP, it's worth it!!

You have my respect OP. I'm not a parent but I still wondered whether I could offer you my encouragement? I've heard parents adopt the mindset that they're teaching their child to sleep, as in the same way you'd teach other life skills like using a fork or blowing your nose. There's not so much guilt for teaching those skills. There might be less guilt when you think about sleep that way, as in teaching 'falling asleep' as a 'skill' that will benefit your DS. I'm just adding this in case it's nice. I'm no expert. I read 'French Children Don't Throw Food' and got it from there. I respect you and hope things go well.

Just wanted to step in and give you some encouragement. You're doing a great job. Sleep well.