to ask you how often you have sex?

[FruitCakey]

DH and I go through phases.
We have been together for almost 9 years and married 5 years (tomorrow is our anniversary.) At times, sex can be most nights, other times it can be weeks without anything. 99% of the time, it's shit!

So I am going to be nosey and dig.
How many of you are satisfied with your sex life? How often is enough for you?

Please don't reply if you're not comfortable answering.

Together 13 years. It can be anything from 3 times a week to 3 times a Month. I prefer 3 times a week. Its usually good when we do. I would be concerned if we didn't manage it at all for a month.

We have both decided to make more effort as we do both enjoy our sex life, it just gets a bit neglected!

when we both want to! Together 13 years. It's all about quality not quantity these days.

Errrr probably once a month. Married for two years, I thought that was normal. Obviously not.

4-5 times a week generally, sometimes we can go a couple of weeks without if one of us are ill or had a difficult week with both working, very rarely thou. The longest we went was 6 weeks after I had our son.

I haven't had a sex life since 2008 - and that was a short-lived disaster. Last time I had actual sex was a one-night stand in 2005!
It's okay.
It wouldn't be okay if I were in a relationship, though, obvs. Just thought I'd add a different perspective :)

As and when the mood takes us both.

Not sure how often though.

Uh, 7 times since DS. (18 months). Twice in last two weeks tho

At least once a week sometimes more ...we have a 10month old...been together 8 years ..

Once a year if I'm lucky. Single parent.

Sometimes 5-6 times a week, sometimes once in a month. My DH has a much higher sex drive whereas I am not to bothered.

grum don't let this this thread intimidate you (or anyone else for that matter). My quess is that those people who are posting are mainly satisfied with the frequency of sex.

Anything from several times a day to several times a years is 'someone's' normal. IMHO - it's a private matter and not a competition. It's whatever suits the couple. Nonetheless there is nothing more soul destroying for those couples who have a totally miss matched libido.

7 years together. DS aged 2 and I am 30 weeks pregnant.

Recent average is probably once a week, much less recently as we're trying to do up a new house between work and child-care.

It's always good when we have sex but we rarely get the time to spend hours in bed. We're lucky to get half an hour to ourselves these days

We've been married 19 years, we usually do it about twice a week. Sometimes more, sometimes less.

Not often enough !

Together 22 yrs married 16

Last five years have been down to 5 or 6 times a year

Have decided to give up trying this year, easier than the constant rejection and leave it up to partner to initiate, so far we have managed 3 times, although the last one was I am sure only out of a feeling of duty after the we never have sex anymore conversation (again) earlier in the day

Seriously thinking it should be better than this and would splitting up be better

We aim to do it more often but it usually ends up about once a month.

grumble we were in a similar position until about this time last year, we were so out of the habit of having sex that it had become this huge issue.

One night I had a bit too much to drink and out it all came, actually I was very frightened because my eye was wandering and I desperately still wanted to be with DH and be happy in our marriage. We have worked very hard, done a lot of talking, had a night away together without the kids which was a godsend, and we have been in a really good place the last 6 months or so.

You can change things if you both want to. :)

Husband is impotent. Once or twice a year, if I'm lucky.

Thanks Misty, honestly, that was really nice to read.

I wouldn't care if I was happy with it, but sadly I'm not at all. Everything else is great so have been telling myself 'well, probably most couples have some degree of mismatching in libido, and if mine's a bit more pronounced and that's the biggest problem I've got then really I should just get over it'.

Just a bit of an 'oh riiight, this is probably more of an extreme than a normal', reading all this. Not to mention rampant jealousy, obviously!

Before dc2, about five times a week. Afterwards, twice a week if we were lucky. After dc3, only twice since getting back in the saddle three weeks ago.
The willing is definitely there, is just that with two badly sleeping little ones, the time and opportunities are lacking and we've both developed the uncanny ability to pass out on the sofa by 9:30.
Coitus interruptus infantus is the best form of contraception going!

Same as toastiefeet. We know we should do more but we are always so tired. It's around once every 3-4 weeks. My sex drive has driven off. :(

Together 7 years, married nearly 2. We have an 11 week old, a 2.5 year old and my DH has a long commute - he's usually out of the house 12 hours in a day. On a good week ATM we'll get round to it twice a week, but it could be 3-4 weeks before we do it again. We hug and kiss a lot and would both like to dtd more often, it's just fatigue that gets in the way.

We have sex 1-3 times a week but often do other stuff in between. It's great, we are both satisfied with both quantity and quality.

It didn't always used to be that way though. We both struggled with depression after our last child was born and so for 3 years we often went 1-2 months with nothing and when we did it was terrible. We have such mismatched libidos, mine is lower, I would often just do it because I felt I had to, even though my head and heart wasn't in to it. It was unpleasant for both of us, I once made DH cry because he felt like he was just me to get off. :( Then we sat down and talked because we weren't happy with our sex life and other areas of the relationship were beginning to suffer. So now we set aside the time to just be physical with each other every day, some days it can just be cuddling and kissing and that's it (but it often leads to some form of sex). We take the time to make sure the other person is enjoying themselves and getting what they like. Once I started to make the effort to be physically intimate in some way I became more enthusiastic and the great sex soon followed.

YVW Grum. I suppose for some people they have to take the 'all things considered' approach and if overall you're settled, content, happy and mainly fulfilled then it all comes down to acceptable compromises.

It all depends just how important sex is to someone. There are many many ways in which couples can feel connected and share intimacy.

Threads like these tend to bring out peoples boastful side

Probably once every 2 weeks since DS was born, lots more the last year as we were ttc, twice in the last 14 weeks since got our bfp! Dp would like it much more but I have the low libido! Together 5 years

misty is right, grumble

DH are in a good place sex wise now, but we go through looong patches where I just don't want it at all. My dh finds it difficult and I feel sad that it makes him feel rubbish. I do know that he thinks everyone else has sex loads though.

Every couple is sooo different and aslong as you are both happy with quality and frequency then it's no one else's business.

I'm sorry to hear you aren't happy with your current situation though. X