AIBU to think that this country is doing my family no favours?

[TiredOfItAllNow]

I've NC. as it's all a bit personal.

I'm so tired of the struggle to get some decent standard of living in this country.

We are so poor.

We live in a 2 bed council flat, DH works very hard, full time in a non-safe job...he's a decorator.

I work part time because I can't seem to get another job which would work with school and we just can't see how we'd afford any childcare...I was hoping to get a 2nd job which might fit in with my first and with school but it's not happening.

We can barely make ends meet. We never go out anywhere...no days out, all my clothes are 2nd hand and the DCs are always bought in sales or 2nd hand.

Something unexpeced like a school book fair can arse up my finances for two weeks....I know the DC don't HAVE to go to the book fair and buy a book but you tell that to your children who never have a new toy unless it's a special occasion and whose entire library is 2nd hand.

And we work! Why shouldn't we have enough money to buy our children a book!

What's gone wrong that everything is so expensive?

We don't have any luxuries, I'm very good at cooking from scratch and all meals are cheap...we have some kind of meat once a week ffs! Because it's too expensive otherwise.

Some days there's no food other than pasta, flour and basics...I don't buy frozen food much as our firdge is tiny and the frozen compartment just about fits a bag of peas and a box of fishfingers in it.

I read on here about people booking to go to Christmas parks and going shopping for this and that and I just get disheartened.

We have the opportunity to move to Australia next year. DH has been offered a job...I told my sister and she was all "You can't be that poor...you earn alright money"

We don't! She couldn;'t be happy that we had a chance to get out of this horrible, tiny flat...

tiwzzle Oh do fuck off dear. Just because I live in social housing YOU DO NOT have the right to talk down to me or assume anything about how we planned our family.

You know nothing of us really....this thread doesn't tell our life story.

Cheese some people on MN think that if you live in a council house, you're like shit on their shoe and they're also often convinced that they're personally paying for your lifestyle of booze and widescreen televisions. Twizzle is one of them.

There is no party here now that really supports the British working poor

Tiwzzle and you're doing yourself no favours. You're coming across as unbalanced. The anonymity of the internet offers the weak a chance to be strong doesn't it? Enjoy that feeling of power...it's not real though.

Twiz - you're a sweetheart aren't you? OP - ignore - I've reported.

no i don't think anybody living in a council house is 'shit' so don't project your own insecurities onto me....i'm just a firm believer in providing for yourself if you are physically and mentally able to - which you and your dh were but just didn't bother doing. you were aware having children costs money and you'd need space so what did you personally do to give yourself the standard of living you expect? You've been provided for and instead of helping yourself you complain it's the country's fault that you're not living the lifestyle you think you deserve

Sick - this is the whole point I think. It's the working poor who are being hit hardest.

Curly thank you but I'm sure I've broken as many rules as she/he has! I don't care. She doesn't bother me. It's as I said...the weak feel more powerful when they can abuse others on the net don't they.

Yes, twizzle, because it's that cut and dried isn't it? You have NO idea what circumstances led to the OP being in her current position. Stop being so judgy.

Twizzle I'm not engaging with you any more so if you want, you can continue to post but I won't engage with you. You'll be abusing an empty room in effect.

I don't get why you are letting your extended family who don't seem to want to spend time with you talk you out of a move who have researched and seem keen to do.

I wouldn't want to leave the UK - but that is me.

I do know several people who have made the move and loved it - it is hard work it's not paradise - there have been unexpected problems - but they are happier. I have lived in several different parts of the UK - costs can vary and our happiness levels have varied - place we live now isn't the best and we are looking forward to a move.

We had times when it's been very hard with money - it's very depressing and wears you down and in recent years everything has gone up and wages stayed the same.

Check out all possible pitfalls obviously - be prepare for hard work - but it it looks like a better bet - why wouldn't you.

This country is looking after an awful lot of people incredibly well in the current circumstances, if you ask me. I'd rather live here and take our small share of what there is than live in one of the many other places in the world where there is not a single scrap for those in need.

OP, I hear your frustration. Sometimes it is hard to see the good when you feel surrounded by things that you feel are bleak. But you are both employed, your children have a school, you have a home, you can afford to eat decent meals (and meat once a week sounds fine and healthy, daily meat shouldn't ever be a measure of wealth ).

Our life is not dissimilar. Very limited salary to cover just living expenses, no luxury, no extras. It's always an 'ouch' moment when extras come up but it sometimes has to be done. Those invitations to go out to £45 meals with other parents usually meet with an excuse or the bare truth, i.e. it's out of our budget. But it's ok, we are happy, the kids are happy, and while they are this young it is actually our choice to go without money and 'stuff' in order for one of us to always be there for their 'childcare'. We have lived in very poor countries and count ourselves lucky.

Please take my comments as a friendly contribution, not an attack. AIBU is a funny old place!

i'm not abusing anyone nor am i trying to 'feel powerful'...just asking you some pretty basic common sense questions....which you can't seem to answer....

wellies thank you....it's nice to hear we're not alone! I know what you mean about turning down invitations from school friends. Sometimes I dread party invitations as getting there plus gift is such a stretch.

We use a Tesco credit card and pay for everything on it,food,fuel,insurances etc. The clubcard points build up and you can triple/quadruple them for days out and meals out. This is how we afford our treats as a family. Last time we went out for pizza we just paid the tip and our points covered the rest.
It sounds like you know the situation in Oz but things like healthcare/dentistry can be crippling. I have had 2 Aussie friends move home after years and they keep saying how expensive everything is.

i dont think its too bad tbh. free healthcare. free education. tax credits and cb. but oz has the massive advantage of sunshine - easier to be poor when you can just go to the beach every day
i dont understand how you are lumbered with tiny accommodation in the north west though - plenty of cheap places. are you in leafy villages?

Your rent (£1600) sounds awfully high - can't you move to a cheaper part of the country rather than to Australia? In Yorkshire we have a 2 bed flat with garden and parking for £500 a month.

Op i do feel for you but why hadn't your dh tried to find other work if things aren't that bad? I assume he has but it sounds like his current arrangements don't work.

Emigrating will cost money who do you hope to do that if things are so tight?

I have only just gone over the threshold for Tax credits when I earned about £32000 I think (2DC). It doesn't sound like you earn that much?

Also not all council rents are cheap- I pay £750 a month for a two bed flat with no garden (and I pay all of it, no HB).

Your rent (£1600) sounds awfully high - can't you move to a cheaper part of the country rather than to Australia

I think it is another poster in london whi is paying £1600. OP's is much lower- less than £600 i think.