AIBU to think that this country is doing my family no favours?

[TiredOfItAllNow]

I've NC. as it's all a bit personal.

I'm so tired of the struggle to get some decent standard of living in this country.

We are so poor.

We live in a 2 bed council flat, DH works very hard, full time in a non-safe job...he's a decorator.

I work part time because I can't seem to get another job which would work with school and we just can't see how we'd afford any childcare...I was hoping to get a 2nd job which might fit in with my first and with school but it's not happening.

We can barely make ends meet. We never go out anywhere...no days out, all my clothes are 2nd hand and the DCs are always bought in sales or 2nd hand.

Something unexpeced like a school book fair can arse up my finances for two weeks....I know the DC don't HAVE to go to the book fair and buy a book but you tell that to your children who never have a new toy unless it's a special occasion and whose entire library is 2nd hand.

And we work! Why shouldn't we have enough money to buy our children a book!

What's gone wrong that everything is so expensive?

We don't have any luxuries, I'm very good at cooking from scratch and all meals are cheap...we have some kind of meat once a week ffs! Because it's too expensive otherwise.

Some days there's no food other than pasta, flour and basics...I don't buy frozen food much as our firdge is tiny and the frozen compartment just about fits a bag of peas and a box of fishfingers in it.

I read on here about people booking to go to Christmas parks and going shopping for this and that and I just get disheartened.

We have the opportunity to move to Australia next year. DH has been offered a job...I told my sister and she was all "You can't be that poor...you earn alright money"

We don't! She couldn;'t be happy that we had a chance to get out of this horrible, tiny flat...

I would imagine you'd be better off here than a fair few families. You have cheaper housing, one full time job plus one part time one.

Many households with two full time jobs struggle because of crippling housing costs. Surely your council flat can't be that expensive. You obviously have tax credits and associated benefits - prescriptions, etc.

I don't really understand where your money is going. I think you're quite lucky to have a council flat considering the length of the lists these days.

No need to be snipy. You are replying faster then I can type on my phone.

Chip. Shoulder. Should have moved ages ago if you're life is so shit.

Maybe you should be a bit thankful to 'this country' tho, seeing as you've bee living in a council flat, getting free education and healthcare for your children and probably receiving tax credits and child benefit.

Whois yes. The family aspect is hard. But I keep thinking about how my family never get together...not even at Christmas. They all say we're tight but we're not really.

My sisters never visit me...my Mum does but even she never wants to spend time with me. She just pops over, gives the DC some sweets and leaves.

Christmas...I'm dreading it a bit....one sister has invited my Mum to her house and we're just here the 4 of us for the whole period. We'd ask them but the place is like a shoebox.

Whiis you're being massively rude and snipey yourself.

I just responded politely to you. I was polite when I suggested you read the thread too. You are just rude.

I'm not thankful to this country at all..I love England but the government are a load of fat, blood sucking bastards who don't care about anyone. There is no job security for anyone and wages are unlivable.

Have a smear before you come. Mine cost nearly $200 and I have top of the range health insurance.

If your dh is casual decorator perhaps he needs to look at how to boost his income. Either by marketing himself better-do you manage his jobs for him? Or by taking on an additional evening/ weekend job

Gunns We have to travel, eat, pay bills...we earn very low wages. It's just not adding up. It adds up but there's nothing left over. It feels like half a life.

Savoy Ok! Thanks for the tip!

Sleepy no he works casual for a small firm. He does to jobs of his own some weekends when he's asked to...

Are you ok?

I don't think it's usual to be so upset at the thought of spending Christmas with your own husband and children tbh.

I hope you can get find your zen soon.

(I must confess tho I'm laughing at the thought of 600-750 being an expensive rent for a couple with both work)

Are you claiming everything you're entitled to? Housing benefit? Council tax.

I know lots of families on minimum wage and everyone seems to get by. Okay, no extravagant luxuries but don't seem to go without. This country does nobody any real favours, you can't expect it to but I'm sure there's a lot you could do to improve your situation. One full time job + one part time job + council rent does not imply real poverty.

I'm not upset at the thought of being with my family so much but at the seeming lack of closeness of my extended family.

When my DD1 was smaller, we used to have bigger get togethers and it was lovely. I know it's hard work but my family seem to have fragmented a bit...no gatherings anymore.

Tired your situation just doesn't make sense , especially as you gave no childcare costs. Either you are not claiming all the tax credits you are entitled to or you have massive debts. If you aren't entitled to hb with two dc then your income cannot be that low.

Saucy maybe you're not familiar with minimum wage jobs then.

gunn yes we are claiming all we are entitled to.

I know it's not real poverty. I just want to be able to live in a house with a garden and have the odd day out.

You can surely have a day out. There's plenty of places to go which don't cost the earth. Kids don't mind. They're happy with the park

soon it does make sense to me. My DH earns shit money. He is paid cash in hand...he declares everything of course but it's shit money.

I don't think people realise how good they've got it compared to other countries. As mentioned before, we have council housing, benefits, free education and healthcare. But the problem with people who grow up in the UK, they think this is the norm everywhere. It's not. And this is where the sense of entitlement comes from. Imagine OP if you didn't have your council house or benefits.. you'd be out on the streets like in many countries who have no social support. So you DO have a lot to be thankful for.

Like a pp said. How have you tried to better your situation... have you thought of getting more qualifications? I mean, do you have Sky TV? What extras do you have that you don't really need? Car? Do you have takeaways? Some people don't realise that they're living beyond their means because they want everything NOW. Running away to Australia probably won't be all its cracked up to be. But if you're desperate to go, go.

I frequently feel the same OP: Dh and I are both graduates, I am a carer for our disabled sons but he has his own business and works every hour he possibly can. We are constantly low income, and despite a good degree and some study at post grad level in a supposedly shortage area, I can't find even the most basic job willing to employ me, having been a carer for a decade. not even carer roles.

In other countries DH's technology degree holds weight: trying to start up your own business holds weight: here we get told it's just a tax credit fiddle. yes? So how come he rents his own premises with kit rather than claiming he works from home? two minutes would prove that's not the case at all. We live close to one of the most deprived areas of Wales, there should be help for people like him: there is not.

We can't go anywhere, not really, not yet anyway- the disability support sytem we use via education is too damned fiddly and the older two are close to GCSE stage. But one day perhaps, by which time the business is likely to be well worth having (it is growing) but it is portable

gunn yes. The park. After ten years of the park I'd quite like to go to a stately home or a castle...or a theme park.

OP, I wouldn't take the lifestyle of people on here as 'typical' as the level of wealth and 'normal' spending is massively skewed to very high incomes.

Buying household items from John Lewis and spending £30/40 on things like candles isn't normal or average outside Mumsnet.

Has your DH tried employment agencies specialising in the construction sector for work? I can imagine that they need decorators in new builds etc. Could lead to ongoing work rather than bits and pieces here and there.

If you work one x FT and one x PT job and live in a council flat, you should be able to afford meat more than once a week and be able to buy a decent sized fridge freezer, for example. Are you getting all the tax credits etc that you are entitled to?

You should also have at least some spare money for treats unless you have a lot of debt, or expensive car loans or have unreasonable expectations about essentials and luxuries.

Does the Australian job come with a relocation package? I dread to think how much it costs to transport a family over there.

(and yes I know that we get a lot in Sn help and all that, and I should be grateful, but just been told self employment is just a tax credit fiddle elsewhere and whining. I know this. I am sorry)

OP: if you want to move to Australia then consider it, but consider it for the right reasons. Lots of people who like the dream of Australia due to the higher wages and increased job availability find that the reality isn't the same as the dream. The cost of living is quite high in Australia, even groceries cost significantly more. You will more than likely have to oat school fees and will certainly need private health care. Will I still be better off financially?
Is it easy to get a work permit as a decorator? Are there lots of jib opportunities for decorators?

Now for the current financial issues.
A 2 bed council fiat in Cheshire will be under £500 rent per month and around £100 council tax. Assuming your DH earns at least minimum wage and that you also have part time earnings, tax credits and child benefit, it is difficult to see why things are currently so tough that even buying a book is a struggle. Do you run a car? Smoke? Have debts? Do you have sky tv? Is there anything that you are paying overdue odds for (utilities)? If the answer to all of those things are no then you sound like you are not claiming the correct benefits. Have you had a benefit check?

I think like moving sounds like a great idea. You sound fed up and ready for somewhere and something new, never mind all the other stuff. Maybe you will and maybe you won't end up staying in Australia forever, but it in either case it will give you and your husband new experiences and may open up new opportunities.

I wouldn't think twice about it if
I were you. Go!

I'm perfectly familiar with the min. wage cheers.

It's you that's unfamiliar IMO- with what a high rent is. You've already got it better than a large proportion of the country if you could rent a three bed for less than a grand a month.

Password no takeaways, no car...we do have Sky. We ride bikes, or get buses.

Peachy I have a degree...and like you can't seem to get a job. I applied at the local CoOP and didn't get taken on. Next week I saw they had two teenagers working there. I have retail experience too!