AIBU to think that this country is doing my family no favours?

[TiredOfItAllNow]

I've NC. as it's all a bit personal.

I'm so tired of the struggle to get some decent standard of living in this country.

We are so poor.

We live in a 2 bed council flat, DH works very hard, full time in a non-safe job...he's a decorator.

I work part time because I can't seem to get another job which would work with school and we just can't see how we'd afford any childcare...I was hoping to get a 2nd job which might fit in with my first and with school but it's not happening.

We can barely make ends meet. We never go out anywhere...no days out, all my clothes are 2nd hand and the DCs are always bought in sales or 2nd hand.

Something unexpeced like a school book fair can arse up my finances for two weeks....I know the DC don't HAVE to go to the book fair and buy a book but you tell that to your children who never have a new toy unless it's a special occasion and whose entire library is 2nd hand.

And we work! Why shouldn't we have enough money to buy our children a book!

What's gone wrong that everything is so expensive?

We don't have any luxuries, I'm very good at cooking from scratch and all meals are cheap...we have some kind of meat once a week ffs! Because it's too expensive otherwise.

Some days there's no food other than pasta, flour and basics...I don't buy frozen food much as our firdge is tiny and the frozen compartment just about fits a bag of peas and a box of fishfingers in it.

I read on here about people booking to go to Christmas parks and going shopping for this and that and I just get disheartened.

We have the opportunity to move to Australia next year. DH has been offered a job...I told my sister and she was all "You can't be that poor...you earn alright money"

We don't! She couldn;'t be happy that we had a chance to get out of this horrible, tiny flat...

Art - Bloody hell. I'm really surprised at that. £1600 for a one bed does seem very high, even for London (I lived there for over 20 years). Are you in Mayfair?!

Sorry to those who seem to think that ambition or wanting a little more is getting above my station.

I have read most of the thread and have not got that impression at all . You are better off than lots of people , you have had a free holiday in Australia in the recent past ,you have a council house . Lots of people would appreciate either of those . I'm assuming your DH is Australian ,otherwise I don't see how your situation works . If you feel life will be so much better there then go but this country doesn't owe you any favours it has given you free education , free healthcare ,subsidised housing and presumably other benefits . TBH it doesn't sound like you and your DH have made the best choices in the past ( with regards to your degree and his job) so hopefully this will be a better choice for you.

OP, I don't think people think you "are getting above your station", I think they think that it is your responsibility, and not the country's, to find a way to get you what you want

All well and good, it seems that you have - and that's to move.

'Ask not what your country can do for you, but what you can do for your country'

OP, there will be plenty of people who will tell you that being an economic migrant is selfish, that you should stay in your own country and work harder. That you shouldn't take jobs away from Australians who need them and expect to benefit from a higher standard of living in a country to which you and your ancestors have not contributed.

I say bollocks. If you are not happy living where you do, then you should definitely vote with your feet. Best of luck to you.

Ignore the negativity on this thread and go for it. Just make sure it isn't an extreme flounce (!) as a response to your disappointment because your relatives are not supporting you in the way that you would like in the UK.

I reached a similar low point about 5 years ago and left England. Originally I only intended to take myself to a low tax jurisdiction in order to be able to save for the first time in my life, but I now have no desire to return to England. I actually feel quite gloomy and depressed after spending more than a couple of days there!

Yes, it's a shock to have to pay for healthcare, dentistry, school etc but economies of scale mean that it is more affordable than the UK for people on average incomes and generally of much higher quality. Coming back to visit a relative in a UK hospital and the smell and dirt made me retch - it was like something from the Crimea. I think you also have to be prepared for life as an expat - which can be a lot of fun, but to some extent you are always "other".

It's swings and roundabouts - like everything in life - but YANBU to feel aggrieved at the way the working poor are treated in this country.

Nobody should have to move to Shropshire for a cheap house in a probably terrible area. The UK can be depressing! I know lots of people who are moving - me included.

Sorry, but that's ridiculous. For one, Shropshire is lovely. And secondly, it's not necessarily in a terrible area. The OP could probably rent in nice ares all over the country except London and the SE for the suggested prices of £500-600 pm for a 3 bed semi, or whatever.

The level of expectation of what is needed for 'a nice life' shown by some people on this thread makes them look very spoilt.

What have you done OP, to improve your financial position?

Sorry to those who seem to think that ambition or wanting a little more is getting above my station.

Hmm, this comment jars with what you describe as your current situation. If this was about ambition then i think you'd already be doing the things suggested to improve your situation in the UK. Ambitious people dont work casual/part-time hours whilst struggling to pay for food and wait for someone else to offer them free flights and accommodation in another country. if Australia had been part of your ambition you would already have been working towards that. What you describe screams lack of ambition actually and this offer is a 'quick fix' to distract you from the reality. Nobody has said you are getting above your station for being ambitious because this isnt about ambition.

Thistle - I'm pretty sure OP's ancestors (assuming she's from the UK) did actually contribute to the standard of living in Australia somewhere along the line!

Did OP say she lived in Cheshire?

If so 1st property on zoopla 3 bed terrace house for rent for £575 a month, deposit £575 plus 1 month rent in advance.

redecorated throughout, large gardens front and rear

Curly - no. Just a regular area

bonkers - she doesn't have a guarantor or 6 months rent to pay up front, which seems to be what is being asked.

Why would she be asked for that, she said that was what they would all want. Clearly that's not true

This scheme exists in cheshire www.cheshirewestandchester.gov.uk/residents/housing/housing_advice_and_homelessnes/private_rented_accommodation/information_for_private_tenant/the_bond_guarantee_scheme.aspx

God, this thread has really annoyed me! Some posts are ridiculous.

The beaches are too hot and full of sharks and box jellyfish?! Some people go back to the UK because of the flies??! The telly is terrible??? I'm sorry, but that is just pathetic.

OP, I have a lot of experience of life in the UK and in Aus, as I was born in Australia to one English parent. I've been to the UK numerous times since I was a child, and lived there nearly 6 years as an adult. I love the UK and have strong ties to it, but some people on this thread are just talking rubbish.

• Housing in Australia is nowhere near as scarce and expensive as in most of the UK. I don't know anybody who lives in a flat with one bedroom for 4 people (wtf?). Even people on a low income can get a private rental with a garden. I'm sitting in a 2- bedroom flat with a huge private courtyard out the back, and a beautiful underground swimming pool and BBQ area in the complex, 10 mins from the CBD and 10 mins from the beach. I live here by myself and pay $360 per week (whatever that is in pounds). And I live in Perth, which is notoriously expensive. The quality and availability of housing is way better here than in the UK.

• I have spent most of my summers at the beach since birth, and have never been attacked or stung by anything worse than a normal (non-box) jellyfish. Once.

• Telly is crap. yawn. Probably. Who cares? I think most free-to-air telly is crap, both in the UK and here, and at least here you don't have to pay for a tv license. The free crap really is free ;) And I watch way less here because it's not dark and miserable by 4pm for half the year.

I could go on, but I won't. Let me repeat: I LOVE England, but there is no way I would bring up children there, especially on a low income, and especially If I didn't have close family keeping me there. There are plenty of shit things about Australia, like anywhere, but all my English friends (and there are quite a few) who have moved here say it's a much better place to bring up kids.

And yes, it is easier being poor when you have sunshine and a garden with room for pets and a BBQ, and clean, uncrowded beaches to enjoy.

That's just my opinion. I know plenty of people move here from the UK and hate it, but frankly I suspect lots of those people would hate it anywhere. (And to be fair, I felt the same about Aussies I knew who went to the UK and left before their visas expired because they hated the weather/crowds/pollution.) If you move to another country to live, it's up to you to realise it's not going to be just like home, and get on with enjoying the good bits; get out and join community groups, etc., rather than sticking to suburbs that are enclaves of people from your own country and then complaining that the locals are unfriendly.

That's my ten cents' worth: I think you sound like you know what you're doing, and I think you should ignore the naysayers who'd be too scared to take a calculated risk themselves.

Koala thank you. I know...all of our friends in Oz are at the flat we live in and that's at least got 2 beds!

I know the telly over there is iffy but I don't actually watch a lot of tv and I don't swim in the sea so critters don't worry me!

I agree that low imcome isn't such an issue and people just seem to DO more out there...even if "More" is just regular group get togethers and meals in the garden. I'm under no illusion that Oz is perfection...it's not...there are social issues and haves and have nots there too but I feel that I'll be fine. THank you for the kind words

At first I worried there was no history or culture over there...but there is, it's just different.

"It may well be that Australia is the best option, but it needs commitment and a positive attitude to make it work. If you move and once you’ve paid your moving costs, found (and paid for) somewhere to live, got the kids sorted with school and a family health insurance plan, stocked the fridge, and then receive that first mammoth power bill for your air conditioning usage, there’ll be no-where else to ‘run’ to. You have to make it work, and the way you’re addressing your current position doesn’t suggest that you’ll be able to roll with the punches."

That is along of the lines of what i was thinking.

I don't know anyone who lives in a one bed flat housing 4 people either. I rather suspect (at the price) it's not a regular one bed flat.

Curly - suspect what you like. Its a one bed flat and I live there with dh, ds1 (4) and ds2 (3). We aren't complaining so it's fine surely

God, go! We left the UK a year ago and it's frightening what it's like back home. We're much closer though - Germany. Appreciate it's a much bigger deal moving further away.

The UK is just not pleasant at the moment for low earners, it's awful.

I don't know anyone who lives in a one bed flat housing 4 people either. I rather suspect (at the price) it's not a regular one bed flat

I didn't think it was v expensive for a one bed flat. Ours is more than that in central East london! It's not 'normal' as its 2x the size of a tiny and shit 400sqft, but it's not abnormal either! You could defo have a bunk bed in our bedroom as well as our bed and screen it off with some ikea cube or something to give an illusion of privacy.

Anyone. Someone up thread made a good point. It is easier being poor if the weather is nicer. Nicer to sit outside in the shade in your small garden than to sit inside your 2 bed flat cos it's raining and cold.

But I ask agree with people saying this is about a lack of ambition and a total lack of trying to improve things hence the 'let's move to Oz for free' plan. You did a useless degree (at some cost to the county) and haven't at any point tried to retrain to make yourself vaguely employable.

Of course it's fine. But - because you can choose to pay £1600 a month in rent for a one bed in central London (when you can get a two bed for significantly lower sum in 'regular' areas), whether or not you feel poor is irrelevant, because you are obviously not poor. IYSWIM.

I would keep working towards moving to Aus, one step at a time cant help. I have spent some time living there too and if you are guarenteed some work which pays well then why not! Take some time to read the expats board on here and also things like the expat forum.

But you also need to try and make yourself happier with the here and now. If you are both working either you are spending too much or your husband just isnt earning enough. Have you got debts that you are paying back? Have you looked on the money saving boards on mse to see how much you should have left over a month? Can your husband look for more permanent work?

I can empathise. We live with our small baby in a one bed flat and pay 800 a month for the privilege. My parents first house in the early 70s cost 600 pounds. Even bearing in mind inflation, life has become hard. My dream is to own a house and for my baby to have her own room. When I was pregnant, I used to read threads about people painting nurseries and become very tearful. We just have to be thankful for what we have, I suppose.