AIBU to think that this country is doing my family no favours?

[TiredOfItAllNow]

I've NC. as it's all a bit personal.

I'm so tired of the struggle to get some decent standard of living in this country.

We are so poor.

We live in a 2 bed council flat, DH works very hard, full time in a non-safe job...he's a decorator.

I work part time because I can't seem to get another job which would work with school and we just can't see how we'd afford any childcare...I was hoping to get a 2nd job which might fit in with my first and with school but it's not happening.

We can barely make ends meet. We never go out anywhere...no days out, all my clothes are 2nd hand and the DCs are always bought in sales or 2nd hand.

Something unexpeced like a school book fair can arse up my finances for two weeks....I know the DC don't HAVE to go to the book fair and buy a book but you tell that to your children who never have a new toy unless it's a special occasion and whose entire library is 2nd hand.

And we work! Why shouldn't we have enough money to buy our children a book!

What's gone wrong that everything is so expensive?

We don't have any luxuries, I'm very good at cooking from scratch and all meals are cheap...we have some kind of meat once a week ffs! Because it's too expensive otherwise.

Some days there's no food other than pasta, flour and basics...I don't buy frozen food much as our firdge is tiny and the frozen compartment just about fits a bag of peas and a box of fishfingers in it.

I read on here about people booking to go to Christmas parks and going shopping for this and that and I just get disheartened.

We have the opportunity to move to Australia next year. DH has been offered a job...I told my sister and she was all "You can't be that poor...you earn alright money"

We don't! She couldn;'t be happy that we had a chance to get out of this horrible, tiny flat...

That is very true thisismypassword. It's a shock when you live somewhere where you have to pay for everything when you have lived in the UK your whole life.

Cross posted with a few people but I forgot to say, have a look on moneysavingexpert for ideas about free or very cheap treats, making the most of your money, getting the best price on your essential bills etc - for example, do you switch your gas and electric every year to make sure you are always on the cheapest tariff, shop around for insurance, use quidco/topcash back etc?

If you shop at Tesco (don't unless you have no other choice, it's very expensive) you can use clubcard deals to get cheap days out.

Maybe I will go and do a benefit check.

Is there a website or do I need to make a phonecall?

We don't smoke or drink, we have no car, we don't gamble.

We do have sky.

Can you get rid of the sky package? Could you use that money to pay for a family activity / a luxury each month as there are plenty of programmes on freeview.

www.turn2us.org.uk/benefits_search.aspx

You can do a benefit check on that link.

I am taken aback by the amount of...I don't know...thinly veiled animosity on this thread. I really don't know what I've done to deserve it. Not from all posters but some...really interesting.

Have a look on www.entitledto.co.uk , tired. You haven't said whether you are claiming tax credits or not, so I do wonder if you are...?

Perhaps Hubby needs to get a better paid job or you do and he can look after the kids.

Where I live you pay £700 for a ONE bed flat.

Some people don't like other people criticising their country. Don't take it personally.

its sounds hard work op. In your circumstances id move if i was sure the numbers stacked up.

A good decorator around here can easily earn £150 per day here. Would self employed be an option? Business card letter box drop around wealthy estates, promote your references? The postmen/women do it around here for you for a bung.

The threshold for claiming tax credits if you have kids is a lot higher than many people think.

Of for god's sake leave the poor woman's Sky alone.

OP, do you like Aus? Do you want to move? Or are you just fed up?

I am an immigrant here and can speak from personal experience about how hard it is not being on the same continent as my parents, grandparents, siblings.

What I mean is, ultimately it can't just be a financial calculation.

If you have a degree you're over qualified for co-op unless you're applying for management. Have you seen a careers advisor? Could you move north if you decide not to go to Australia? You will be able to afford much more space for the same money. Your dh could apply to the local college to retrain - plumbing or electrics could earn him a lot more. A friend of mine from school trained as a plumber then struck out on his own, he earns much more than I do as a lawyer.

Definitely do a benefit check.

If he's working 'casual' then it's not full time or secure is it if he's only getting minimum wage - that's a terrible wage for someone skilled at decorating - if you move further south £1200 a week is the norm, actually the last quote I got for wallpapering was £1400 and when I asked how long it would take he said probably 2 days - 2 days for £1400.

The problem is your husband has a shit job and its fucking difficult to live and support a family on a minimum wage job

tired unfortunately that animosity is part of the culture in this country, and the reason we have a Conservative government. I feel for you, because it all creates an atmosphere of fear and selfishness. Everyone thinks that if you're poor, it's because you're feckless or didn't work hard enough or haven't been on fricking moneysavingexpert. I'm sorry that most people don't understand how it feels to be trapped by circumstance.

Tired, a move to Australia might seem like the solution to all of your problems at the moment, but have you considered changing your lives within this country, where there is a support system?
Could your DP work for himself/work for another company?
Why not move to another area of the country, with more job opportunities for you both? With a council property, could you not look for a swap?

Lack of money does friend you down, but why not think about changing your life here first, before burning your bridges. I think we really do not appreciate just how much we take for granted in this country.

What favours would you like?

What services would you like to cut to pay for these favours?

Would you like to post a breakdown of family finances and maybe someone could help you save in some way?

We are lucky (well lucky the wrong word, DH works v hard and is well paid) but I would never dream of buying books from a book fayre. It's a complete rip off.

Good I do like Australia a lot. I know that roots are hard to leave behind...but my siblings are not exactly forthcoming with meet ups or socialising together...so I feel like we're on our own anyway. There's no family support really...my Mum visits now and then but it's all a bit half hearted...she comes to see the DC quickly then goes. Never wants to sit with me and have a chat and a coffee.

I'm not being animos? (whatever the verb of animosity is anyway), and I don't think anyone else is either.

Your financial situation just doesn't seem so very dire unless there's something you haven't said. You're both working, and you're not in an expensive part of the country.

I appreciate you just wanted a moan tho, not advice.

Another in Oz for the moment. We did not move for economic reasons and are now moving back to the UK for a better income and an improved standard of living and I am a specialist nurse.
The sheer cost of moving even if you have a relocation package will be around £5000 never mind mind the cost of having to buy stuff to tide you over until your own stuff arrives.

I doubt a decorators wage and part time work will give you an improved income in Oz unless your planning in living in the NT and I don't mean to be rude by saying that just lots of experience of the expense of living here.

I think you should do it as it sounds like you have put a lot of thought into it and researched.

You've been before and you will have people there and you don't see much of your family anyway.

If you don't do it you are always going to be thinking that you should have.

tools there IS no support system. My family aren't like that. Nobody every pops in on one another...there's no babysitting for each other...no little visits from cousins. :( I feel like my DC aren't getting all they could living in this box.

I think you sound really down, and really drained, and that's horrible for you.

In practical terms though, would it not be prohibitively expensive to relocate to Australia if you're really struggling financially? Years ago we were in a pretty grim financial situation and couldn't even afford to relocate to England (we're elsewhere in the UK) for better job prospects.

People are not sniping OP, they are genuinely trying to help. It's just that from what you have said, things simply do not add up that you cannot afford even very small treats or are struggling so much.

There is also the concern that you have a 'grass is greener' view over moving to Australia. It can be much better than living here, but there are also very big downsides, so people are just making sure that you are aware of these.

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