AIBU to think that this country is doing my family no favours?

[TiredOfItAllNow]

I've NC. as it's all a bit personal.

I'm so tired of the struggle to get some decent standard of living in this country.

We are so poor.

We live in a 2 bed council flat, DH works very hard, full time in a non-safe job...he's a decorator.

I work part time because I can't seem to get another job which would work with school and we just can't see how we'd afford any childcare...I was hoping to get a 2nd job which might fit in with my first and with school but it's not happening.

We can barely make ends meet. We never go out anywhere...no days out, all my clothes are 2nd hand and the DCs are always bought in sales or 2nd hand.

Something unexpeced like a school book fair can arse up my finances for two weeks....I know the DC don't HAVE to go to the book fair and buy a book but you tell that to your children who never have a new toy unless it's a special occasion and whose entire library is 2nd hand.

And we work! Why shouldn't we have enough money to buy our children a book!

What's gone wrong that everything is so expensive?

We don't have any luxuries, I'm very good at cooking from scratch and all meals are cheap...we have some kind of meat once a week ffs! Because it's too expensive otherwise.

Some days there's no food other than pasta, flour and basics...I don't buy frozen food much as our firdge is tiny and the frozen compartment just about fits a bag of peas and a box of fishfingers in it.

I read on here about people booking to go to Christmas parks and going shopping for this and that and I just get disheartened.

We have the opportunity to move to Australia next year. DH has been offered a job...I told my sister and she was all "You can't be that poor...you earn alright money"

We don't! She couldn;'t be happy that we had a chance to get out of this horrible, tiny flat...

TiredOfItAllNow

No, we live in a flat with 2 children. No garden or terrace or anything

Anew But I said repeatedly that WE NEVER PAID FOR THE TRIPS> people repeatedly comment without reading the thread!

Mijas Well I can't be happy when I cant even plant a flower or mow a bit of a lawn. A garden is very important to me.

My ils got into this frame of mind and moved countries leaving their dc and gc behind. They are much happier doing things they could do in England but their mindset is it's here so it's better. It's all in their minds but they are happier so right move for them

What do you mean "it's all in their minds"? where else would happiness be?

I'll be honest that I don't see the point of the thread. Not in a sarky way.
Sounds like you have an opportunity to go to Oz and be happy.
You're leaving behind a life that is unsatisfactory in many ways.
What's keeping you here?

Tired - we live in a one bed flat (x4 of us). It's costs us £1600 a month as privately rented. We also both work full time so have full time childcare costs (London) I don't feel particularly poor

With x2 bed flat you must be able to organise so there is more space? We entertain regularly in our flat although small

I only suggested getting rid of sky tv because it could free up some money to do something else. The OP said buying a children's book at a the book fair sets her finances back by weeks and that they never have money to buy new things or go out to do things. I don't know which sky package the OP has but even a smaller package will free up enough money to have money set aside for book fairs and the like. An all singing dancing sky package will be up to £100 per month and that is a lot of money. Of course getting rid of sky won't make the OP rich but it might mean being able to afford something else.
Freeview has plenty of channels including film channels, music channels, kids channels etc.
Getting rid of sky tv wasn't meant to be an insulting suggestion.

I've skimmed most posts because as soon as cars/sky/fag/booze are mentioned I kind of realise that people are pretty unsupportive.

Wages have stayed the same. Cost of living is higher. If you are on a good salary, then it's not too hard bear. If you're on a shit salary, it can be crippling.

OP - if you stay, you could think about transferring your degree to a different / more employable field (e.g. step up to social work, law etc).

Being isolated is fucking horrible. If you know Oz well and have friends and family who would spend time with you, that's got to be better than your current situation. Your mental health would also be better, I bet. Wishing you the best xxxxx

Go for it OP. Mmm so far your the list of pro's and cons stack in favour of Oz. A few of pp view that you shut up moaning and grin and bear it. Is really unrealistic. If you had posted that your DH had had a job offer in this country meaning you would move and have more money but you wouldn't get free healthcare, schooling etc.... But you said I've done my sums and we can still afford it. Would they still say 'stick your nose even closer to the grind stone, stay were you are MAKE work! Probably not.

take the bull by the horns. It sounds like you have some good people out there waiting for you and you may get the ssupport you crave too. It's sad about your family here but this is your life and they haven't bothered with you anyway.
Good luck. Take the chance

Go. Go and enjoy the sunshine, the increased energy you will feel, the outdoor lifestyle, the relief of not having to be frugal every second of every day.

Be happy and positive about this opportunity - use your year of cheap rent to save, be realistic about what you will save. If you family can't be happy for you then fuck 'em. The worst case is that you go for a year and come back. You can hardly be worse off than you are now. Being poor is miserable, exhausting and time consuming. Give yourself a year off it!

Really - 4 of you in a one bed flat? How does that work? Where does everyone sleep?

Curly thank you I do feel isolated. I do have a few friends in the UK but like many people they work long hours and don't often have time to spend with mates.

I am being realistic...there IS a chance it might not work...life's not perfect...if that happened then we'd just bloody well come back. Nothing needs to be forever written in blood.

I think I made this thread as I felt emotional after speaking to my sister. SHe wasn't happy of course...she probably worries and probably will miss me...but she's never there anyway...just on the end of the phone.

OP - if you are unhappy in the UK then you will probably be unhappy in Australia

Utter bollocks. I moved 10 miles away and was instantly 100% happier.

Your dh could go self employed and earn loads more if you stayed but I think you're pretty much set on emigrating so go for it.

Most people who emigrate feel sad about leaving family and close friends but it seems like you don't need to worry about that.

Good luck!

Go OP. Grab that chance with both hands.

You're clearly disillusioned with this country, your family and life in general. If it is really that easy for you to pack up and go to Aus, and you can just "bloody well come back" if it doesn't work, then do it. What are you waiting for?

Fwiw I agree with the posters who are saying your finances don't stack up, so that's definitely worth looking in to.

Viveane your post makes no sense the benefit cap is the absolute max a family would receive and in minimum wage you would get tax credits x

Well it's not her life is it OP? It's yours and your family's. Do what's best for you. Yes - you can always come back if it doesn't work out. What could be worse is never trying and forever wondering. And if I hear the word entitled again I might just shit x

Mijas Well I can't be happy when I cant even plant a flower or mow a bit of a lawn. A garden is very important to me"

You do sound a bit....spoilt. Sorry to be harsh but to be honest, you don't know you're born by the sounds of it. Did you grow up in a wealthier set up than you are now? I think this is so common these days, I know I won't be able to give my children the childhood I had and that does make me sad for them at times, but this seems to be all about you.

I also do think the stagnation of wages compared to the cost of living is fucking horrendous but you are in a so much better position than a lot of people as you have (presumably) a secure tenancy at lower than market rates. I think social housing should be, I'm not having a go about that, but we live in social housing and I am grateful we do as I know so many people in r private rental sector.

Move to Oz and let someone else have your council flat in Cheshire. Without wanting to make it a race to the bottom, I can tell you people would appreciate it a lot more than you. And the education and healthcare system, it's not without faults but you need to realise how lucky you are. If you change your mindset, you might be happier. And I mean that in a genuine way.

Primallass, so maybe she should move 10 miles away to a council house with a bit of garden?

I have nothing against the OP going to Australia, but I am not sure that the reason she gives are good ones or that her life will improve in Australia.

Not that I know, I left the country myself 7 years ago! But few countries protect and subsidise low earners as much as the UK do.

If the OP is simply transferring location but staying in the same percentile of earners in Australia then probably not a good idea. I bet the lowest 25% of earners in Australia don't have a very good quality of life either. It's the same the world over

Have you investigated anything like home typing for one of the firms like DictateNow that offer outsourced typing?

BTW, telly in Australia is absolutely dreadful.

There are people earning a low wage who do not get benefits. A single person on a low wage was asking on another thread if she was entitled to anything. She wasn't. I object to people on low wages paying tax when the benefit cap is so high.

I know fairly average middle class people who live in Aus - teachers, nurses, airline steward, IT.

These are people who live in Melbourne, Sydney and Brisbane... so the capital cities.

In my experience, people just don't seem to struggle financially the way they do in the UK. Yes, the cost of food and housing is high but so are wages comparatively.

You may not have oodles of money to spend on expensive holidays or fancy restaurants but I think most middle class people can afford a family home with three bedrooms and a garden in a decent area. Again, not a mansion or necessarily one with a swimming pool but an average well maintained house with enough space for a small family of two to three children.

However in the UK I think there is a class of 'working poor' who may have just enough income to afford the mortgage on a flat [no garden] as their family home, can afford to feed their family by shopping for bargains mainly at Lidl and Aldi and forego 'treats' such as buying books at a book fair, going to the cinema or keeping a car.

OP, if I were you and knew DH could earn good money in Aus and had the opportunity of rent free living for a year I would definitely go for it.

And ignore the posters who try to tell you that Aus is filled with 1950s throwbacks who wouldn't know culture if it bit them on the arse. Yes, there are some unreconstructed types there [as there are in the UK, UKIP and BNP springs to mind] but also a lot of intelligent, well travelled and cultured individuals.

Go for it I say, you will probably regret it if you don't.

Primallass, so maybe she should move 10 miles away to a council house with a bit of garden?

Because those are so easy to get your hands on?

Hi OP, I have read your thread all the way through and have swung from one way of replying to you and another way, because the more you write, the more I see you are thoroughly depressed in your situation. I do feel for you.

At first I wanted to tell you that I have had the experience of emigrating to Australia twice and returning twice! Like you, I really thought that life would be better out there but it wasn't. Pickfords removals kept telling me that they pack up for the British all the time, they call us the "yo yo packers" because we can never make up our mind! There is one thing though, it is NOT the land of milk of honey, but you have done your research. The beach is hot, the sea is full of box jellyfish or sharks. There are poisonous snakes and spiders and it is difficult to make friends.

I would make your mum sit down the next time she pops over, make her a cup of tea and tell her everything you have written here. You owe her that before you leave.

Also, I wonder if you really do want a garden, well you can get one. You have a degree in the arts you say, you are obviously intelligent and you have children. So perhaps train as a teacher? Your husband should get another employer, apply for a better paid job, he is obviously working well below his potential. If you want one last attempt in the UK, then really go for it for the last time. Move to another area with his new job. Then you can retrain, go to college, get another qualification in admin or teaching.

I am a great believer in when you're down, it attracts more negativity, nothing is right, people avoid you because you drag them down too. You do sound depressed, fed up, but you can do this, you can get out of it whether it is Australia or another part of the UK.