To be green with envy at women whose partners cook

[CinnamonBuns]

Not a TAAT but just read the veggie Christmas thread about the husband who cooks a three course meal from scratch

My partner has never even made me
a sandwich in 5 years :(

So pissed off at having to cook every fucking meal. If I say, no you're cooking tonight, he'll order a takeaway which I don't really like.

I didn't think it was a big deal when we were dating that he didn't cook but 5 years down the line I'm sick of it.

WAAAH!

DH can cook but rarely does so. I'm in charge of meal planning, food shopping and cooking. Just once I'd like for us to get home from work and him either offer without me asking or just start cooking dinner for us. If I ask, he starts flopping around in a martyred fashion.

We did go through a phase where we took turns to think of a meal and cook it but it fell by the wayside a bit. Think I might get him to start doing that again.

Thing is, he can cook if I'm not eating.

I remember him whipping up a kale and chorizo pasta thing once when I was going out to eat with friends.

He is taking the piss and does need a head wobble, as do I.

Posted too soon..

He can actually cook, his forte just lies in other meals where timing isn't such an issue and he has more confidence. (He was never taught to cook at home by his parents as I was). I'm also a PMT ridden cloud of rage today, so not the best timing for his mishap. drinks more

My husband does 99% of the cooking in our house. It's just how we split things. He likes cooking and prefers far more complicated things than I make.

It doesn't make me "selfish" or not a "fully functioning adult".

If he suddenly wanted to change our set up to 50/50 he just needs to say so, properly, not cryptic hints.

I do most of the cooking, because I like to. I also do the lion share of the housework.

If I ask DH to take over a task for me he will without acting like a child who will not tidy his/her room.

No it doesn't museummum you've a relationship that works - I was talking about mostly men who move from being looked after by their mothers to by their partners with no idea of how to function as part of an equitable team.

Just had a chat and said I want this relationship to be more equal. I said I want you to cook two days a week and he was like 'woah' in a jokey way, to which is said you have it really good, and if you disagree I will stop cooking for you completely.

He said I am not allowed to criticise or interfere, which I've agreed. He's put Tuesday and Saturdays in his diary for now, so we'll see how it goes.

Sounds good Cinnamon I agree, you do need to leave him to it.

Dare I ask... what's the plan for cleaning up afterwards?

Good on you Cinnamon. Hope it all goes well

Well done cinnamon. It's nice to hear of some proper communication happening.

I'd be happy for dh to say to me he wants to cook less often. But woukd be mighty pissed off if he just declared randomly one day that it was my turn without any warning.

Yay! A plan has been set. Good for you OP. sounds like he might have been put off cooking because of your reaction when he has in the past? Anyway- you've talked and agreed- that's the way forward. I'll bet he's a whizz when he puts his mind to it. EXp rarely cooked but when he did it was awesome. Much better than mine.

christ only 5 years .my hubby cooked for me once 20 odd years ago .if he is good in other ways not the end of the world .when i was in hospital last year my son,s cooked .or they would have starved .

it was ment light hearted by the way .but yes my hubby would just starve or get a take away

Cinnamon

great news! well done.

what's he cooking? will you tell us how it went on Tuesday?

wasn't it meant to be 3 days a week ?

< runs >

I just about never cook for the family.
You could just cook your own meal. No need to cook his. Just say from now on you'll just make your meals. He'll just have to lump it.

AF I'll start with two and see how he goes, then maybe up it to Sunday roast too. He's never cooked one, or a curry before! I said how bloody sad at 34.

Museumum - I know it sounds controlling giving him set days, but he really responds to that and told me to do things like that before. He then puts it in his diary and plans for it. It's how he works best apparently. Whereas if I said you have to cook more but there wasn't a clear day/s it probably wouldn't happen.

He's already writing the meal plans now and I gave him a few ideas from the JO book. I'll update how if went and if me and dc are still alive

I love cooking. wnd or 3rd date I cooked for MrsLH ... her aunt said "keep him" ... and she did.

My Dad (from a very very macho culture) also loved cooking ... more than my mum !

Greengrow - what did your four children eat when they were growing up?

My DH can't cook and it drives me mad having to be the one to always plan meals. Actually, he can manage Toast, cereal, cheese toasties, pasta with a jar sauce and fish fingers and chips. That's it. It doesn't bother him a bit, if I don't cook for him he calls in for take away or eats crackers and hummus. He doesn't expect me to cook and he couldn't care less if I don't cook for him but he has no interest whatsoever in learning to cook - he would rely totally on convenience food. In the grand scheme of things it's a small although somewhat highly annoying irritant,

Can I ask the pp's who say they do all the cooking, have your partners made sandwiches for you? A terrible cook can knock together a cheese
sandwich.

YANBU, send your envy this way! DP just cooked me a lovely roast chicken dinner. He cooks for the 2 of us, I cook for the kids because they go to bed earlier. He's usually cooking while I'm putting DD to bed.

He does make the best cup of tea ever though and pours a mean glass of wine.

Sorry, schoolname I was writing when you wrote your post.

What will happen to all these men who can't/won't cook when their wives cannot prepare a meal due to illness or death?

Are they expecting their daughters-in-law to take over?