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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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To have told a woman to take her shivering child home to bed in Primark

742 replies

BigRedBall · 05/11/2014 17:55

I went out today to get a few bits and bobs and ended up in a Primark. Got to the lifts and saw a woman waiting with a pushchair and on it was hanging a school bag. Looked to her side and she had a school aged child with her who was visibly ill, shivering, moaning. I assumed she'd picked him up from school and was dropping by on way home, but then realised school bag was from a school other side of town.

We went up together and the boy was whimpering now and looked really bad. The mother didn't seem to notice/care.

So I was walking around and the tanoy went off asking for a store cleaner to go to "area bla bla bla" for a clean up. Didn't really take any notice until I walked to the other side of the shop and the same woman was standing there with a now crying baby in pushchair and crying/ shivering child who had been sick all over the shop floor. There were splatters of pink sick on clothes, the mirrors, it was disgusting and she was stood there on the phone to someone and was telling the boy off.

I don't know about anyone else, but when my children get ill and shiver like that with fever, the last thing I'd do is traipse them across town. I'd give them a hug and put them in bed and hold their head if they were being sick. Goodness knows vomiting is draining even for an adult.

I felt so angry for the poor boy. So I walked up to her and said "instead of bringing him to the shops from school, you should've taken him home to bed. I'd take him straight home and give the poor thing a hug".

I think she was more shocked than anything.

DH thinks I wbu and is shocked I'd say that to someone. I don't think I am. Also, I now feel sick and think I have his germs.

OP posts:
Thebodynowchillingsothere · 05/11/2014 18:57

I think the most important part of the post was primark. Grin

WilburIsSomePig · 05/11/2014 18:58

Mum may have thought he wasn't too bad. Or she may just have been a twat. Who knows.

longestlurkerever · 05/11/2014 18:58

Oops wrong thread!!

BigRedBall · 05/11/2014 18:59

How have I made a shit day worse for her? She didn't seem to care. She ignored his whimpering/shivering in the lift and around the shop. Got angry at him when he'd barfed everywhere. It seems to me she was having a perfectly normal day until her ILL child vomited and ruined it for her.

OP posts:
brainfidget · 05/11/2014 19:00

Poor child. Primark makes me feel queasy too

BigRedBall · 05/11/2014 19:04

Primark is a good shop. I got dd knockers and thermal vests for the winter. They wear really well, even with tumble drying.

OP posts:
Marmiteandjamislush · 05/11/2014 19:04

Have you got children of your own OP? If you did do as you say, you sound like an interfering old bissum. If you really felt so concerned, you could have said something light hearted to his mother, like, 'someone's looking a bit green.'

BigRedBall · 05/11/2014 19:05

I got her KNICKERS. Fgs.

OP posts:
Wibblypiglikesbananas · 05/11/2014 19:05

Also agree that it's nice you stuck up for that poor child.

dorasee · 05/11/2014 19:07

I can't believe people are defending this mother. She had a shit day...so she went to Primark and chatted on the phone while her ill son puked all over the shop. She chose to go to Primark.That would make anyone's day shittier! I picked up my puking child from school today and didn't go to Primark. We went straight HOME. And guess what, I have a screaming baby and a pre-teen to deal with as well. I would not go to Primark under these circumstances. I am with you OP. Ignore the haters.

AlpacaYourThings · 05/11/2014 19:07

Way to go OP! Making another mum feel shit, give yourself a big pat on the back!

saltnpepa · 05/11/2014 19:09

That's primark for you!

BigRedBall · 05/11/2014 19:10

I made a non-concerned mother who ignored her ill child and then told him off whilst on the phone for barfing, shit? Somehow I think not!

She would have felt shit if she cared. If I'd seen her console him even once maybe I wouldn't have said anything.

OP posts:
BigRedBall · 05/11/2014 19:11

*feel shit

OP posts:
SirChenjin · 05/11/2014 19:13

Some parents fully deserve to be made to feel shit actually - because they are shit parents.

Who knows what was going on here - but most normal parents don't stand talking on the phone and giving their sick child into trouble. They are worried, they are upset for their child, they try to console them and then they show concern about how they can help to clean up the vomit.

YANBU.

MollyBdenum · 05/11/2014 19:15

Maybe she was in Primark getting new bedclothes after another household member barfed over all the ones in the house earlier that day.

tobytoes · 05/11/2014 19:18

YANBU IMHO..I wouldn't have said anything but I would have been thinking it.

northernlurker · 05/11/2014 19:18

Op can you fill us in on what exactly was said?

m0therofdragons · 05/11/2014 19:19

Parenting police in force. So this woman was having a bad day and instead of offering help you shouted at her. I hope you're very proud. Well done you!

BigRedBall · 05/11/2014 19:19

And she had no other clothes? No washing machine? No sink with a tub or any water to wash them with? No radiators to dry them on?
Hmm

OP posts:
divingoffthebalcony · 05/11/2014 19:20

I love the increasingly out-there list of possible excuses for what, on the face of it, seems to be a mother behaving shittily towards her child. It always happens on threads like this.

Yeah, maybe she needed to buy Calpol or bedding or whatever (although washing it would be more logical) but why did she berate her poor child and continue talking on the phone?

Oh, of course, maybe she was phoning for a lift or NHS Direct...

It's nice that some posters are so willing to imagine the best in people. I tend to sit at the more cynical end of the spectrum.

Thebodynowchillingsothere · 05/11/2014 19:20

Well if you are so sure you are right why post Aibu

! I think you were totally and utterly wrong and am interfering busybody after a snap shot of another parents life but if you feel good then great.

m0therofdragons · 05/11/2014 19:21

Does making shit parents feel shit actually result in then being less shit? I would have thought not but it's not my area of expertise and I've not read any research on the matter.

TheWickerWoman · 05/11/2014 19:22

Diving, I was about to write something very similar..

Well said.

LovleyRitaMeterMaid · 05/11/2014 19:22

TAB not only extremely U but really rude.
Lot's of big pats on the back for you though...