To have told a woman to take her shivering child home to bed in Primark

[BigRedBall]

I went out today to get a few bits and bobs and ended up in a Primark. Got to the lifts and saw a woman waiting with a pushchair and on it was hanging a school bag. Looked to her side and she had a school aged child with her who was visibly ill, shivering, moaning. I assumed she'd picked him up from school and was dropping by on way home, but then realised school bag was from a school other side of town.

We went up together and the boy was whimpering now and looked really bad. The mother didn't seem to notice/care.

So I was walking around and the tanoy went off asking for a store cleaner to go to "area bla bla bla" for a clean up. Didn't really take any notice until I walked to the other side of the shop and the same woman was standing there with a now crying baby in pushchair and crying/ shivering child who had been sick all over the shop floor. There were splatters of pink sick on clothes, the mirrors, it was disgusting and she was stood there on the phone to someone and was telling the boy off.

I don't know about anyone else, but when my children get ill and shiver like that with fever, the last thing I'd do is traipse them across town. I'd give them a hug and put them in bed and hold their head if they were being sick. Goodness knows vomiting is draining even for an adult.

I felt so angry for the poor boy. So I walked up to her and said "instead of bringing him to the shops from school, you should've taken him home to bed. I'd take him straight home and give the poor thing a hug".

I think she was more shocked than anything.

DH thinks I wbu and is shocked I'd say that to someone. I don't think I am. Also, I now feel sick and think I have his germs.

You could have been sympathetic and asked if she needed a hand, but no, you judged and patronised without knowing the full story, then expected a pat on the back from all of us here.

No.

I'm going to go against the grain and say yabu.

Illness can come on really quickly especially with children, he might have just been a bit groggy when she picked him up from school and he took a turn for the worse when he was out. I can remember this happening to me when I was a kid.

She might have been on the phone asking someone to pick them up as the boy had got really ill.

There are so many ifs, buts and maybes.

Instead of judging her you could have offered some help.

hmc sorry you've hidden the thread. I didn't think it was that provoking.

hidden exactly. Being "stressed" or "having a bad day" doesn't mean you bring your ill child to the shops then proceed to ignore them and then tell them off for vomiting.

I didn't hear everything she was saying to him but what I did hear was "look what you've done now, look at the mess you've made"....and I didn't see what she had in her basket. I saw that she had a basket because I shared the lift going up.

So you are 100% proud and sure of your actions.

Again why ask aibu?

Yabu!

Maybe she had no choice but to grab something from the shops? Maybe there was no one at home who could have sat with him?

When my dh is at work I have no one who could help me out so if I was in dire need of something, I would maybe have to go out with a sick child.

I was sat in a restaurant once when my toddler who hadn't been unwell when I had arrived suddenly projectile vomited over the table.

What an embarrassing and stressful situation...in your position I would have offered some tissues/babywipes if I had any...or just left the poor woman alone.

Yes I have kids, I know they are ok one minute and sick the next, but this child had obviously come home from school. It doesn't take a genius to work out he'd been sent home ill. Ill whimpering child with school uniform on under his coat and school bag hanging off pushchair. He definitely had been unwell for more than an hour.

So was it after school or during the school day, I got the impression it was after school.

Why is everyone making the "children are ok one minute, then vomit the next" statement? Yes. This happens. It obviously didn't happen this time. The child was ill. He wasnt walking around with his school bag for the hell of it. He'd been sent home.

And why doubt I said it? Bizarre.

I've already mentioned upthread it was about 12.30pm. Not after school.

Maybe she was down to the last clean babygro , all the rest washed and not dry.Maybe she has her first job interview in 3 years tomorrow and not got anything to wear, maybe she's been to Boots to pick up a prescription and popped to the loo in Primark.YOU DON'T KNOW!
She was frustrated , stressed ,worried , embarrassed.that is why she spoke sharply to the child.Then you wade in with your completely unhelpful and too-late comment.

My god are you still crowing about this and patting yourself on the back OP?

It seems like this has made your day.

Hope Primark had some massive judgy knickers for you, cos you're going to wear yours out at this rate...

Ah didn't see that bit. Yes that does seem off, I suppose he still could have taken a turn for the worse. But yes if ds was shivering and whimpering I'd dump the shopping and head home.

I still tend to think that unless someone's beating their child then berating them probably isn't the answer.

You'd have probably got further approaching gently, people don't tend to take kindly to being confronted even if they are in the wrong.

But yes, midday does seem more likely she was dragging him round

No! She was not stressed, frustrated, worried or embarrassed. She did. Not. Care. A stressed, frustrated or worried mother consoles the child and LOOKS stressed/worried. This woman ignored the child in the lift. Then she got angry with him with phone to ear when he'd vomited.

If you're so right, them why post here?

Ah coz you wanted a medal!

YABU. Read some of the previous comments and definitely agree with the poster who said you'd have been floored in her local primark...it would have happened here too.

As for the sanctamummy cries on here...God forbid you ever get caught in a situation that makes you look like a bad parent.

There's too much you don't know for you to be able to judge. The child has probably been sent home ill from school. Baby has missed a nap/feed/both as the mother had to rush out. There could be a huge pile up of laundry at home and she's come to primark to buy some emergency clothes/clean bedding as what all 3 of them are wearing is vomit-splattered.

And to top off a sick child who's been sent home from school interrupting her baby's routine and causing havoc and having to deal with the embarrassment of him vomitting in a shop, a complete stranger then told her off. That obviously helped. .

Some fool commented on my parenting earlier in the week. Apparently, my baby's legs were 'obviously cold'. I had DD strapped to me in a carrier. She was asleep. She slinked off muttering apologies by the time I was done with her.

But no one can truly say you're not being unreasonable because the simple fact is you don't know the full story. You don't. But we can say you are being unreasonable because of what you said (well, claimed to have said). To speak to someone in that manner when you don't know the facts for sure is horrendous. But y'know carry on lapping up those YANBU's.

Applaudes MrsD

The hysteria is utterly laughable.

And you were rude and out of line op.

Here have one of these

Whatever her reasons for being her telling the boy off, when he was ill shows such a lack of compassion. You can imagine dire situations necessitating going to the shops with a sick child (for medicine and nobody to childmind, family emergencies etc)- but scolding a vomiting child is unacceptable. I think you did the right thing.

Jean

I think YABVU.
Worst kind of busy body. Keep yer beak out.