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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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To have told a woman to take her shivering child home to bed in Primark

742 replies

BigRedBall · 05/11/2014 17:55

I went out today to get a few bits and bobs and ended up in a Primark. Got to the lifts and saw a woman waiting with a pushchair and on it was hanging a school bag. Looked to her side and she had a school aged child with her who was visibly ill, shivering, moaning. I assumed she'd picked him up from school and was dropping by on way home, but then realised school bag was from a school other side of town.

We went up together and the boy was whimpering now and looked really bad. The mother didn't seem to notice/care.

So I was walking around and the tanoy went off asking for a store cleaner to go to "area bla bla bla" for a clean up. Didn't really take any notice until I walked to the other side of the shop and the same woman was standing there with a now crying baby in pushchair and crying/ shivering child who had been sick all over the shop floor. There were splatters of pink sick on clothes, the mirrors, it was disgusting and she was stood there on the phone to someone and was telling the boy off.

I don't know about anyone else, but when my children get ill and shiver like that with fever, the last thing I'd do is traipse them across town. I'd give them a hug and put them in bed and hold their head if they were being sick. Goodness knows vomiting is draining even for an adult.

I felt so angry for the poor boy. So I walked up to her and said "instead of bringing him to the shops from school, you should've taken him home to bed. I'd take him straight home and give the poor thing a hug".

I think she was more shocked than anything.

DH thinks I wbu and is shocked I'd say that to someone. I don't think I am. Also, I now feel sick and think I have his germs.

OP posts:
thisismypassword · 07/11/2014 08:51

That's pretty bad of you to get involved. You have no idea what her life is like. For all you know now she is sobbing over your comments and calling herself a shit mom because basically you did.

I wasn't a mother at the time. In fact, it's nothing to do with kids. I was on a train having just failed my driving test for the 5th time. I called my Dad. Suddenly a man who had 2 kids sitting near me told me to be quiet this is the quiet carriage -- I think I'm actually paraphrasing him politely it was such a long time ago. Of course I didn't realise it was the quiet zone in my state of sadness. I started to cry silently on my own. I think the man realised he had been harsh and came to me before he got off and said sorry. It made me feel a little better and it made me realise that we're all human doing the best we can.

Thebodynowchillingsothere · 07/11/2014 09:33

Yes the socks are the best. Pjs not bad too.

Twas there yesterday but all was quiet. No vomiting children/trollops on the phone or indeed good citizens sorting all out. Quite disappointing really. Grin

fourwoodenchairs · 07/11/2014 09:38

I've not heard the word trollop in such a long time. Is it bad that it makes me chuckle?

famalam · 07/11/2014 09:40

Miaow LOL at "blameist language" haha

Thebodynowchillingsothere · 07/11/2014 11:28

Four I actually found the use of the word trollop to be the funniest of the whole thread.

Classic mumsnet pearl clutching and what happens when a frequent flier from waitrose strays into primark.

I would have preferred painted trollop though! Grin

BigRedBall · 07/11/2014 11:39

I walk past Waitrose to go to Tesco express or Sainsbury's on a normal day. If I feel flush, I'll pop in for their baked goods but even then I'd rather drive 10 mins and get a doughnut from Lidl.
Waitrose is an overrated shithole. (But that's a whole other thread)

OP posts:
SuperFlyHigh · 07/11/2014 11:51

I think if anything (and this is thread that keeps on giving) if I were a parent I'd be honest to god shocked Shock at someone like OP commenting on my parenting skills, and the fact that the child needed a hug. Especially if OP doesn't know the circumstances which she doesn't know.

Unless you KNOW the person how do you know what their child is like/situation etc.

Same for the poster who said about the crying child in Zara whilst it's parent and friend were trying on clothes. I've seen crying children (who sometimes cry most of the day every day etc..., for whatever reason) and there are children who cry because of hunger/changing nappy etc - same thing how do you KNOW the mother in a few minutes won't see to that child? Unless you ask the parent/child for the reason for the child's distress (which I'd say is none of anyone's business!) then butt out!

SuperFlyHigh · 07/11/2014 11:51

Thebody - trollop was a term of endearment and mockery used in fun between myself and some school friends when we were 14 onwards... how we laughed... Grin

SuperFlyHigh · 07/11/2014 11:53

TheBody - I too am going to eye my local Primark (visiting Brighton tomorrow may look in on its Primark) to see what i can see - vomiting children etc...

have to have something to do especially when I'm in Primark's eternal queues....

fourwoodenchairs · 07/11/2014 11:53

I love Waitrose Grin Do Trollops go there?

coolaschmoola · 07/11/2014 11:54

Not all children like to be touched, let alone hugged. But hey, why not assume?

SuperFlyHigh · 07/11/2014 12:17

fourwooden - I would assume your high class trollop goes to Waitrose!

Wannabestepfordwife · 07/11/2014 12:23

I can see your point op but I have been in a similar situation myself so yabu.

Dd was poorly on the way to the doctors I stopped at asda to get some more calpol for her.

While we were in asda dd was sick all over herself I must of looked like an awful mother queing up to buy a new outfit but buying her some clean clothes then taking her to the toilet was the only thing I could think to do.

I have severe GAD and had someone berated me it would have reduced me to tears and probably destroyed what little confidence I have in my parenting ability

Thebodynowchillingsothere · 07/11/2014 14:26

Well I am off to ASDA and will look out for harlots! Painted ones!

You know what super I seem to remember my sister and her friends calling each other trollops too. Circa 1978? Ring bells Grin

BigRedBall · 07/11/2014 22:20

I wasn't even alive in 1978!

OP posts:
FruitCakey · 07/11/2014 22:30

Going back to the OP because I can't be fucking arsed to RTT I don't think you was BU as such.

I would have been disgusted if I'd have witnessed this myself, but rather than jumping on the DM, I'd have offered to help in some way. I would have tried to console the poorly child. I think that would have been more effective. I can imagine that your rage at her would have left her mortified though.

SuperFlyHigh · 10/11/2014 09:50

Thebody - sorry this was 1985/1986. so a good few years later... Grin

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