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AIBU?

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Original poster

To be amazed at average parental stance on 18 video games?

168 replies

superstarheartbreaker · 04/11/2014 06:57

I was on a thread about Call of Duty whereby a 12 year old wanted it. The parent didn't want to get it as it is an 18.
The parent was told that they should get it as everyone is playing it and video games don't cause violence. Aibu to believe that this is not the flipping point?
I think the point it that it normalises violence. Also it encourages teens to so end hours gaming rather than doing genuinely active sports. Also it is an 18 therefore 12 year olds are too young.
The pressure exists from kids only because other patents allow this. Get firm people!

OP posts:
Original poster
superstarheartbreaker · 04/11/2014 06:57

I'm not suggesting that the kids are going to start mowing down the general public if they play this btw!

OP posts:
Taz1212 · 04/11/2014 07:06

DS is 12 and he does seem to be in a tiny minority amongst his friends by not being allowed any 18 games. Even when his friends come round, they are frequently clutching CoD or similar and I play the mean mum and tell them for the hundredth time that 18 games are not allowed in the house.

TBF, DS is pretty good about it and doesn't moan that everyone else gets to play them. It is, of course, entirely possible that he is playing them at other people's houses...

Handwasher · 04/11/2014 07:12

Totally agree - I think these games are horrible. I probably wouldn't wven be happy with an 18 year old playing them! I generally don't like gaming - which is why we encourage sports as hobbies. Much healthier physically and mentally

PfftTheMagicDraco · 04/11/2014 07:27

You've seen nothing until you've worked in a game shop, believe me. It's utterly depressing.

teenagetantrums · 04/11/2014 07:51

Well when mine were 12/13 they were allowed to play some 18 and 15 games, depended on the game, dont think it has done either of them any harm, I thought off the ratings as guidelines, its me who knows my child and decides what they can play and films they watch.

SpuffySummers · 04/11/2014 08:01

I'm a fairly liberal parent but I draw the line at inappropriate games/dvds with my DDs (they're only 6&4 so not been much of an issue yet) DSS though... He wouldn't watch/play any of the stuff he does if he were my child. DH and his Ex both allow it. Caused quite a big argument when I said those games were not to be played at times when my DDs would be exposed to them.

foreverton · 04/11/2014 08:07

I've had this with ds, 11. "Everyone" has got grand theft auto 5.
I asked his dad about it and he told me it involves stealing cars, mugging people, fighting and even having sex, no way!

Only one other friend of his doesn't have this game too, that's a lot of 11 year olds playing 18 games, it seems to be the norm.

Ds can stick with minecraft and fifa:)

Lushlush · 04/11/2014 08:10

Well I certainly won't let my ds play 18 games until he is at least 16.

He is impressionable and easily led and he is only 9 - some of his peers regularly watch 18 rated games. Along with youtube and no parental controls at home on the pc.

I have noticed only about half the parents bother with parental settings too which is quite worrying. Don't they care?

I won't allow older games but with films on Sky with my supervision he does watch the occasional 15 rated film but I can always fast forward inappropriate bits which is what I do.

WalkingInMemphis · 04/11/2014 08:10

I generally don't like gaming - which is why we encourage sports as hobbies. Much healthier physically and mentally

Some people seem to think there's a definite split in kids - those that are up and active and those that just spend time playing video games.

The two are not mutually exclusive. My ds's both have sports as hobbies and we're very active as a family. But they also enjoy an hour in front of a ps3 sometimes.

JainaProudmoore · 04/11/2014 08:10

YANBU

I'm a gamer, I spend a lot of time playing video games, but some of the games more popular with teens (think COD, GTA) look to do more damage than good. There are plenty of awesome games under a 15 rating.
Tbh I think with COD the worrying thing comes from the community that plays those games, they can get rather abusive.

Mrsjayy · 04/11/2014 08:12

I agree with you , there is comments like oh he is going to go out and kill anybody is he , well no he isn't but that doesn't mean he should be playing COD, it does normalise violence and Iwwouldn't allow any underager to play over 18 games I don't understand why parents do. Dh is a gamer and I am Shock at the content of these games. And they are addictive I have heard of kids acting out when they are not allowed to go on their xbox. Oh and it is illegal to expose children to over aged explicit material.There is no difference between an 18 game and an 18 film

Gatehouse77 · 04/11/2014 08:13

We've always taken the 'stick to the rules' approach even though "everyone" else has got games such as those mentioned above.
However, if DH played a game and thought it was slightly over the top certification, we would let DS play them.

A bit like TV programmes, we watch first and then decide if it's suitable...

Mrsjayy · 04/11/2014 08:14

There is sex prostitutes and murder in Gta lovely just what we want every 11yr old to be exposed to,

saoirse31 · 04/11/2014 08:15

depends on game and on teen. similarly to films. as a parent u research and decide.

WooWooOwl · 04/11/2014 08:16

YANBU, but thankfully I don't know many parents that let their young teenagers play 18 games, I know I certainly wouldn't allow it so my dc wouldn't even bother to ask.

It's all about FIFA 15 in this house, and that's annoying enough!

Backtobedlam · 04/11/2014 08:17

I used to play a lot of games in my early 20's and would never let a child play an 18 until they were 16/17 at the very earliest! The games are so realistic, COD is one of the worst for actually feeling like you are there...when I was 'hiding' on the game you can hear peoples footsteps as they come closer, you can see the face of the other soldiers, and I would get physical reactions...heart racing, sweating palms. They are 18 for a reason, there are plenty of other fun, non-violent games children and adults can enjoy instead.

snice · 04/11/2014 08:17

I work in a primary school- there is a substantial body of children from yr 4 upwards who are regularly playing COD and GTA. It's depressing

JubJubBirds · 04/11/2014 08:18

'I asked his dad about it and he told me it involves stealing cars, mugging people, fighting and even having sex, no way!'

And those aren't even necessarily the worst bits! There's one particularly nasty torture scene in GTAV that the player's in charge of, to the point of the controller vibrating with the raising (and ultimately slowing) heartbeat of the person you're killing. It's really disturbing. I'm a gamer (and an adult, I hasten to add) and still I had to have a break from the game after that bit.

I think if you're the sort of parent who thinks that is fine for their DC to play 15/18 games you should at least play them yourself first and see what your exposing your children to. A first hand often experience is very different.

SuburbanRhonda · 04/11/2014 08:25

I think it's worth remembering that for some families gaming is a much cheaper option than taking part in a sport.

I don't mean kicking a ball round in a park, I mean properly taking part, as in having the right equipment and kit, paying club fees, transport to training and matches.

If you can get hold of a pirate copy of a popular video game, that's a fiver for several months' enterntainment.

Not saying it's right, but it's the reality for many families without the means to fund an alternative.

JainaProudmoore · 04/11/2014 08:30

Totally agree with Jubjub about playing them yourself first before letting a child play them. Even a quick youtube will reveal the kind of content you're dealing with.

Mrsjayy · 04/11/2014 08:41

Dh won't play any GTA he borrowed a friend s and put it off he hated it , if I am honest I dont see the appeal of games and adults playing them dh gets right into them I imagine a young teen would be the same

WalkingInMemphis · 04/11/2014 08:49

DH has just discovered he has an unexpected morning off work and doesn't have to be in until 12.

He's just headed off, suited and booted ready for work, briefcase in hand...and is on his way to his mates house (who also has the morning off as works for same company) to play Fifa 15 for two hours before they have to be in. He sounded like a nine year old girl on the phone earlier, excitedly asking his friend if he can come over this morning.

I find the thought funny, two 30 year old men in business suits, sitting on the carpet in front of the TV and playing a football game before work. I've never seen the attraction in gaming really, I can think of 100 better things to do with my time (such as mnetting)

OiGiveItBack · 04/11/2014 08:55

I didn't stick to the age ratings complete but I was only a year or a couple of years off depending on the game and child. (I've 4 kids youngest is 18) I was stricter on the older kids than the younger kids Confused but I had more experience of the games by then.
I refuse to ever have any games involving any sex in int the house so GTA is banned forever - my kids are in total agreement with that.
I play games myself and always put the effort in to researching games that were a little to old for the kids.

I also didn't allow any first person shooters until they were 16 even if they were rated lower.

Gaming is a family event in my house and even now when the older DC come back from uni its a fantastic way to all get together and have fun. My boys also keep in regular contact by playing together online even though they live apart.

I think it's bad and lazy parenting to let young kids play over 18 games. There are loads of amazing games out their that are age appropriate.

OiGiveItBack · 04/11/2014 08:59

It's not just the inappropriate content of over 18 games that is bad it is the style and level of game play. It's all just too intense and addictive for younger children. The games are designed for adults to play.

You wouldn't play (adult version) Risk with a 5 year old.

Taz1212 · 04/11/2014 09:34

Some people seem to think there's a definite split in kids - those that are up and active and those that just spend time playing video games.

I've got to agree with you- the two are not mutually exclusive. DS is a club swimmer and is currently swimming 4-6 times a week. He also rows twice a week and does various land training activities. He also games (but not the 18 games Wink ) both PS3/XBox games and table Warhammer gaming.

I know there are children who game and don't do sports but I'll go out on a limb and say that I'd be willing to bet that most children who do sports also play video games. Grin