To be amazed at average parental stance on 18 video games?

[superstarheartbreaker]

I was on a thread about Call of Duty whereby a 12 year old wanted it. The parent didn't want to get it as it is an 18.
The parent was told that they should get it as everyone is playing it and video games don't cause violence. Aibu to believe that this is not the flipping point?
I think the point it that it normalises violence. Also it encourages teens to so end hours gaming rather than doing genuinely active sports. Also it is an 18 therefore 12 year olds are too young.
The pressure exists from kids only because other patents allow this. Get firm people!

I think it depends on the specific child and specific game.. DD1 has been much more effected by 12 and under games/movies than she has by 15/18s.

as in Pipbins example where dad is playing the games in front of the kids - I see this at work all the time. It is laziness and not prioritizing family time/parenting over technology. A problem I fear will only get worse

But you're an adult (presumably). You are older, more mature, know how to control your feelings and emotions, have a defined sense of right and wrong and have more exposure to violent imagery.

A child is still learning, growing, struggling with emotions and feelings etc, learning the distinction between things that happen in real life and things that happen on tv or in a game. A child should be allowed to be a child and have pacman eating ghosts, not making a decision as to whether to blow someone's head off and see the blood splatter (COD) or visit a lap dancing club and grope the breasts of the two topless girls' writhing in front of them (GTA).

Our 16 year old isn't allowed 18 games. At this stage, a lot of the reason is the fact he has a younger brother and his friends are here lots too.

But the 16 year old doesn't even bother asking.

oops sorry, thread moving quickly. My post was to JC denton

I'm not au fait with the newer computer games. But it's only a game after all. But I would restrict films that had horrific scenes as they would seem a lot more real and don't approve of children watching them. We only have mostly football games and nobody has played them for ages. But I agree there are lots of age appropriate games so why would they want a particularly gory one except I suppose if everyone else has one. Which they probably haven't.

it's only a game after all

This approach is why we have the problem.

Well, that is certainly true, atticusclaw and I'm on your side when it comes to children and games. Like many people who play games, I'm more conservative then average on that issue because I know the content of many games and don't see them as 'just games'. However, I just don't agree that games are inherently worse than films or TV shows, that was my issue.

Ultimately, wether films or games are 'worse' doesn't really matter. Children underage shouldn't be playing or watching them. They are given those ratings for a good reason.

GTA, over my dead body!!

My 10yo and 7yo occasionally play COD (the 15 rated one) they're not obsessed with it and they don't go online.

Yes, it's laziness and ignorance on the parents' part. There is no other explanation. It's parents who can't be bothered disciplining their child when they nag, nag, nag them to let them play it. It's parents who can't be bothered to do the research and play it themselves or view clips. And it's silly parents who believe their kids that tell them that "my friend at school plays it" (when friend is just saying that to impress), the parent thinks "ooh, I must be behind the times, maybe it's acceptable at this age then." And off they go to the shop and buy it. Then their child genuinely plays it and tells their friend in the playground "I've got GTA, it's great."

And so the original friend who didn't actually have the game then goes home and says "my friend has just got GTA." And so it goes on.

Stop it, people!!!

Children's and adolescents' brains are still developing - they don't develop empathy till quite late. What the hell are these games doing to that development where any empathy for the characters who the kids "torture" and "kill" (very realistically these days) ceases to exist?

I agree with you that kids shouldn't be playing things they can't handle, but empathy does develop quite early, they won't become sociopaths.

Most won't.

As I mentioned down the thread I have dealt with a case where some very serious mental health issues developed. And this was with an adult.

Regardless of age rating I wouldn't have a game that contained violence, rape, torture, theft etc in my house.

I don't want DCs to think I think any if it is acceptable at any age.

I do NOT believe that playing violent video games will turn you into a gun toting maniac. However that is not a reason to allow underage children to play them.

You should all visit a Tier 4 CAMHS unit and see what desensitising kids to sex and violence does. Kids from the most vanilla families too.

Most of those parents would trot out how they knew their kids but the adolescent brain is developing so much it can be a completely unknown.

And how anyone could think that their child acting out rape appals me.

Madame I touched upon that earlier. I talked at length about my son on here a couple of years ago as some people remember. He spent nearly two years in a secure unit and although his wasn't COD or GTA related it was the seemingly innocuous batman. He has aspergers and the 'dark knight' was part of his descent into madness (and I mean that).
I don't think you can take risks.

seemingly innocuous batman

And this proves why parents should take the responsibility to research games. This is not the Batman we know from the 60s with Zap and Pow (although I'm sure you know this wannabe) but a violent game. I assume you are talking about Arkham City: www.game.co.uk/en/batman-arkham-city-93653#screenShots

That's worrying wannabe.

I have a friend who has only just let her 13 year old child with aspergers out with friends on his own as so many things freak him out and he doesn't have any awareness of danger etc but when I told DS he was never having that hideous violent crap in our house she went on a rant saying I must think she is a bad mum as her son is allowed to play them 'as he understand it's just fantasy!'

I seriously think a lot of what children are exposed to today is part of the huge increase of mental health problems in adolescents.

lush I had words with parents when KS1 children were telling me about GTA5. I spoke to the whole class about the reasons why games and films had ratings, I spoke to the parents of the specific children (one of whom told me the next day that he had asked his dad to take it off him because he "didn't want to be tempted to play it") and we had a whole school assembly about it.

It isn't just the violence, it's the normalising of incredibly offensive attitudes and swearing. The language used is unacceptable, but it's made worse when heard by children who don't understand them.

How anyone can respect a man who plays those awful games with rape in is beyond me too. It would be a complete deal breaker for me.

OldRoan I can imagine being told 'are you telling me how to bring up my kid' by parents in some schools if you said that.

OldRoan, KS1??

Are their parents completely and utterly stupid?

Pipbin- to which the only possible answer would be "Well, you don't appear to know how to, so somebody has to intervene".

I know, Pip. I was dreading the conversation to be honest. It turned out that some parents didn't even know their children owned the game (?!) and were horrified, the others had never seen it being played and thought it was just a racing game. I agree it could have been really unpleasant.