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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be amazed at average parental stance on 18 video games?

168 replies

superstarheartbreaker · 04/11/2014 06:57

I was on a thread about Call of Duty whereby a 12 year old wanted it. The parent didn't want to get it as it is an 18.
The parent was told that they should get it as everyone is playing it and video games don't cause violence. Aibu to believe that this is not the flipping point?
I think the point it that it normalises violence. Also it encourages teens to so end hours gaming rather than doing genuinely active sports. Also it is an 18 therefore 12 year olds are too young.
The pressure exists from kids only because other patents allow this. Get firm people!

OP posts:

UptheHammers1 · 04/11/2014 11:42

I just think the ratings need looking at , COD and GTA should not both be rated 18 in my opinion. GTA is far worse.

I’m not sure any game justifies an 18 rating, don’t see how a 17 year old is allowed to buy a real car, drive it, pick up prostitutes, buy drugs of the street ( the last 2 not legally of course) but not play a video game depicting the same.

COD the same, a 16 yr old can join the army, train to fight in a war, but not play a war video game…

18 rated films, like ‘Clockwork Orange’ ‘SAW’, Texas chainsaw massacre, no way would my kids watch them but a video game… sorry just can’t get worked up about it.

Every child is different, my eldest cannot bear watching the goonies as it gives her nightmares, but doesn’t give a shit about COD

ChippingInAutumnLover · 04/11/2014 11:44

I think the games are far worse than any movie.

JCDenton · 04/11/2014 11:47

Completely disagree. I can't watch Saw but I enjoy the GTA series. I won't even entertain the notion of watching Hostel, Human Centipede or A Serbian Film.

JainaProudmoore · 04/11/2014 11:48

uphammers1 it might not bother your DC but not every child is the same. My Dad used to have me watch him play the Resident Evil series when I was young (and the quility was obviously crap as it was on the PS1) and it still effects me now. I bloody love video games but would not play a zombie game for all the money in the world

SkullytonFlowers · 04/11/2014 11:57

to me its about vetting them first, ds isn't allowed to buy 18 games, but if DH has them then i watch him play them a few times before deciding if its ok for ds to join in.

i dont have an issue with COD as long as the other players are muted, its no different from any other shooting game imho, i see worse things on some games aimed at kids!

There are others he's not allowed to play or even be in the same room with DH, like Bioshock (shudder) and we dont have GTA anything, both DH and I played some of the older versions and neither of us like it much.

SkullytonFlowers · 04/11/2014 11:57

i also dont think cod is worth an 18 rating.. i can see why the zombie part is, but the actual PVP is really quite tame!

wannabestressfree · 04/11/2014 12:01

What about the throat slitting when the blood goes up the screen? People screaming being burnt alive or tortured?
It's really not the same as being allowed to drive, vote etc. They are aggressively violent and can really affect some children and teenagers.

Miggsie · 04/11/2014 12:05

I find it strange that people are ok with young children living in a fantasy world where rape, murder and torture are presented as a normal part of existence and that you can carry them out and enjoy it...

Perhaps they also regret we no longer have public executions?

OiGiveItBack · 04/11/2014 12:14

Espii.
Did you get rid of your GameCube?

Our family is still regularly plays GameCube and N64. Some of the games are fantastic and are still as playable as ever. We have had the N64 nearly as long as we have had DC4 . Completing the original SuperMario game or defeating Gruntilda in Banjo Kazooie are among the gaming highlights of their and my childhoods -

When the older kids are home from uni we play Marioparty (we have every one - very retro) Bomberman etc. It's pure harmless fun and a great way to relax. Only one of my boys plays COD (he is 22), the other plays DOTA ; none of the kids will play GTA as its not the type of game or subject they enjoy and they 'dissaprove' of it thanks to my lectures

KingJoffreysBloodshotEye · 04/11/2014 12:35

I think people don't take the ratings on games seriously.

One of DP's friends was happy for his child to play GTA at our house but when I offered to lend him Braindead (totally lame 80's zombie film) with the same rating the friend got in a strop with me as 'xxxxx wasn't allowed to watch an 18 rated film'.

BadLad · 04/11/2014 12:38

Braindead? Is that the one set in Australia or New Zealand.

It's hilariously rubbish and not remotely scary.

I remember the martial artist priest saying " I kick arse for The Lord".

ScrambledEggAndToast · 04/11/2014 12:46

My son has been begging for GTA for months and I keep saying no as it is so violent and he is only 11. The one and only reason I feel bad is that he gets left out when all his mates are playing it, however, he does have plenty of other games that he can join in with.

Purplepixiedust · 04/11/2014 12:53

I won't be letting my DS play 18 games or watch 18 films until he is at least 15 and then it will depend on his maturity.

He is 8 and has watched 12 films but I tend to read up on content and make a judgement. Some he can watch and some not. For example we are working out way through the seasons of Dr Who which are a 12. Something you don't really think about when you just watch it on TV.

Vitalstatistix · 04/11/2014 12:58

I wouldn't say that's the average parental response.

I'm your average parent and I've told my kids 'not on your nelly' as have most parents I know in real life.

Furthermore, I have told my eldest, who keeps banging on about it, that not only is he not having GTA now (at 15) but the only way he's getting it is when he has a job to get the money to pay for it and a house to take it home to, because it is not getting through this door.

I have massive MASSIVE objections to that game and games like it. It will be a cold day in hell before anyone living under my roof relaxes in the evening with a nice game of killing women and stealing cars.

And I am not getting into a debate about it here, just giving my opinion in response to the OP, won't be discussing it further, I'm still mad from the last time

CharethCutestory · 04/11/2014 12:58

My dc are too young for this to be an issue. But this bit of the thread stood out to me "There's one particularly nasty torture scene in GTAV that the player's in charge of, to the point of the controller vibrating with the raising (and ultimately slowing) heartbeat of the person you're killing. It's really disturbing."

I wonder how many parents just don't know what they're agreeing to?

atticusclaw · 04/11/2014 12:59

I think there are a few parents who allow their DCs to play these games and then through the folklore and rumour at school they are all claiming to play them.

At least I hope that's the case. There is no way I would allow my DSs to play them until they are old enough (ok I might relent at 17). Fortunately they both know that we are sticking to the age ratings and when they go to friends houses they both have enough strength of character that they say that they are not allowed to play or watch anything that isn't appropriate.

I have been involved in a legal case where an (adult) individual was severely affected by mental health issues as a result of gaming. It's a very real thing.

atticusclaw · 04/11/2014 13:01

It will be a cold day in hell before anyone living under my roof relaxes in the evening with a nice game of killing women and stealing cars.

I am stealing this line

KingJoffreysBloodshotEye · 04/11/2014 13:09

"I kick arse for the Lord!"

Yes, that's the one. Love it!!

But clearly too much for the eyes of a 15 year old whereas GTA is fine.

justsaynotoviolentgames · 04/11/2014 13:21

I have name changed for this as I am going to link to a blog post that I wrote and I don't want it to out me. But OP in short, I am so with you and I don't get the attitude of so many parents either.

Read this blog post I wrote on this very topic. The result of me writing it: I caused huge upset amongst the parents at school who all read it and thought it was aimed at them. My kids stopped being asked to go to their houses and there was a lot of gossip about me behind my back. I lost friends through it. Perhaps the lesson there was to not put my opinion in a public place. I haven't since. Not on issues like this. In fact I was forced to write an apology on my blog in order to reconcile some of the hurt feelings. Which was frankly ridiculous.

I think it boils down to lazy parenting. It takes effort to watch a video game or read the reviews or find out whether it's suitable for kids. And it takes effort to say no consistently to the nagging. It's far easier just to give in and say 'fine'. And not worry about it.

I get that some parents genuinely think that their kids can cope with the content. I just want to know how they can be so sure of this. Think about that kid who killed Ann Maguire. He was a normal kid. His parents probably thought so too. Thought he was mature enough to handle the mega violent games he played on. Yet he went and stabbed his teacher in the neck. The two may be unrelated. But they may not. Perhaps he couldn't cope with the content after all.

The new COD is about to be released in time for Christmas. There was a review in the Guardian about it. I saved this image from the article to share with my kids when the nagging starts. I wish parents would read and absorb it.

To be amazed at average parental stance on 18 video games?

JCDenton · 04/11/2014 13:29

On a tangent, it's one of my pet hates where people, as in the linked blog post, describe games as 'mindless'. I enjoy them because they make me think.

BreakingDad77 · 04/11/2014 14:18

Parents need to be wary of online gaming especially of these games as some of the language/threats can be quite hardcore and perhaps need to be talked to about it.

Lushlush · 04/11/2014 14:28

Well at least there are a few parents out there left who care!

I heartily agree that GTA should not enter the home at any stage. Well done to Vitalstatistix - just shocked any parents would allow it to be honest. I have already ds (who is only 9) I would never let that muck enter our home. He knew all about it as a friend of his is allowed to watch it at home once a month and he is only 10.

AuntieStella · 04/11/2014 15:00

JainaProudmoore. Thank you!

atticusclaw · 04/11/2014 15:01

Ive just viewed a few clips on Youtube. "Grand Theft Auto V (GTA 5) Franklin Sex Tape Side Mission" and "Grand theft Auto V (GTA 5) Picking up a prostitute Hooker", (the first two clips that came up when I typed in GTA) and would urge anyone on this thread who thinks this game is suitable for under 18s to have a look. I'm sure there are many other examples out there but this was enough for me to be convinced that my views on these games are correct.

Lushlush · 04/11/2014 15:18

If anybody works for schools on this thread is reading this could they let me know why they don't write to the parents or anything?

Surely parents should be reminded that parental settings and watching things appropriate for the child's age is there for a good reason.

Perhaps families would listen to them?

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