To be amazed at average parental stance on 18 video games?

[superstarheartbreaker]

I was on a thread about Call of Duty whereby a 12 year old wanted it. The parent didn't want to get it as it is an 18.
The parent was told that they should get it as everyone is playing it and video games don't cause violence. Aibu to believe that this is not the flipping point?
I think the point it that it normalises violence. Also it encourages teens to so end hours gaming rather than doing genuinely active sports. Also it is an 18 therefore 12 year olds are too young.
The pressure exists from kids only because other patents allow this. Get firm people!

I think lots of parents think they saw 18 films in the cinema when they were 12 (I did - Witches of Eastwick, The Fly etc) and that these games will be similar.

I doubt I'll stick rigidly to age ratings as my kids grow up, but I certainly won't be buying GTA for them, nor allowing it in the house while they're in primary school.

Who knows after that, but I cartainly could have done without CoD adverts coming up while dd was watching Peppa Pig on YouTube! Though at least my 2 and 6yos didn't want it (nor the debt consolidation, nor the flash cars), whereas if I let them watch Peppa on channel 5, there's ads aimed at them which I find worse. Bloody porcine.

Lush I work in a school and quite frankly those that allow their children to have these games are not going to listen to a letter home from the school.
It's not really the job of the school to manage the children at home. They learn about the internet, esafety etc and it would have to be a completely clueless parent who didn't realise that a game stamped 18 and called grand theft auto was a good idea for little Johnny.

Our school is holding an internet safety evening in a couple of weeks which deals with pornography, chat rooms, gaming etc. This was at the request of some parents. Encouragingly they have had an overwhelming response from parents (many of whom, like me, feel that technology is moving on so fast that its difficult to keep up with the dangers)

The evening is for parents by the way, not for the pupils.

It isnt' good is it as all the other children just get to hear about inappropriate games and language etc. by their peers.

No matter how hard we can try in our own homes it is still very prevalent out there. My ds goes to a very middle class school and I am quite frankly shocked that so many families are so lax with their children.

Lushlush the information is already out there for parents to use to help base their decisions on.

Schools wouldn't generally just send out scripted parenting advice on this in the same way that they wouldn't usually send out advice on proper bedtimes or at what age children should be allowed to have fizzy drinks. They're trained professionals yes, but not in parenting. On the whole I don't think parents would like the feel of being told what to do.

That being said, if any parent wanted to approach their child's teacher for advice I'm sure they'd be more than welcome. A had to talk to a child and their parents about an obsession with Halo that was limiting his social interactions and his learning. But it was a very severe situation.

YADNU OP. I don't understand why so many parents just cave in on what they let their kids play and watch. I wonder if some parents want to play these games themselves so just let their kids join in and justify it as time spent together...? I met a 12yr old the other day who watches the walking dead with her mom. How is it even possible to think that's appropriate? Are people just giving up?

Cool mums and dads being their kids friends rather than their parent.

Especially bad when you have split family with one parent caving in to be the cool one of the split.

It's not necessarily the content of the scenes I would be most bothered about, to be honest ... I would argue that the more damaging aspect is the constant adrenaline these sorts of games provoke when you play them.

Without going into too much detail, my DH and I have had to deal with the consequences of an activity that involves long periods of heightened awareness and adrenaline, and you would be surprised at how much such things can affect your psychological state.

Fixitup – Parents don’t just give up, personally I just pick the battles I want to fight.

My kids are generally well behaved, good in School, eat their dinners, clean teeth, go to bed, sleep well… etc etc…. Game playing is personally not a battle I choose to get worked up over.

Why is it such a battle though? "Mom, can I get CoD for christmas?"
"No, here's your new skateboard"
"Mom, can I watch the walking dead with you?"
"No"

Generally 18 rated games have a lot of swearing and violence so are definitely not appropriate for young children, I can't imagine not letting a 16 YO play them though TBH (not relevant as my DCs are younger so they don't play them yet). I don't find it a battle to say no to them, DS1 (8) came downstairs with his friend and said please can we play Assassins Creed, I said no its an 18, they said ok and played FIFA.

There are other games such as WWE which are 15s, I allow them to play these though. I make sure I either speak to friends who have the games or find out plenty of info first. Same with films, Gremlins for instance is a 15 but there is no reason for that IMO, both DCs (and most of their friends) have seen this age 6-8 yo. Films rated 15 more recently are unlikely to be appropriate though.

I agree that the sporting activities and gaming are not related at all, both my DCs play approx 12 hours of organised sports per week but enjoy the odd hour here and there on the PS4 or Wii, nothing wrong with that IMO and we never have to limit it as they don't play that often.

Just by way of example on those clips I watched the player picks up a prostitute who goes into a car park and starts to give him a blow job. Then proceeds to make sex noises and say things such as "mmm, I just love the taste of your pre cum." Then climbs on top for intercourse

Anyone who thinks this is ok for 11,12,13 year olds is living on a different planet to me (and yes that includes you Dsis)

good grief.

That is certainly a battle worth having!

can I have that game, mum
when hell freezes over, son

I also had a particularly warm and fuzzy feeling when the character bends another character's girlfriend over a kitchen counter and has sex with her and then smashes a bottle over the boyfriend's head before stamping on it multiple times shouting "you fucking shit, who the fuck are you talking to?" whilst the distressed and clearly beaten up girlfriend looks on.

Then we have the torture scenes where you can electrocute the victim, pull out their teeth with pliers, kneecap them and tip them backwards in a chair with a bag over their head whilst pouring water over their faces so that they drown…...

How can parents not get worked up over this? I am truly stunned.

I'm scared, frankly.

I cannot believe that there is a parent alive who would think that appropriate for a child. I can only believe that they don't know that stuff is in there.

BTW Not all COD games are rated mature - at least one (world at war) is rated teen (15)

I have known nursery aged children who play COD.
When a friend went on a nursery home visit the dad was playing GTA in the front room with the soon-to-be nursery child sat there.
I have also talked to a child whose Dad would play Fallout in the front room when the family were eating dinner.
So many children talk about playing COD and GTA at my school that it does seem that everyone is playing them.

As for If anybody works for schools on this thread is reading this could they let me know why they don't write to the parents or anything? Do you really think that a parent is going to get a letter from a school an think 'gosh, I didn't realise that, I shall stop my child playing that game right now.' Of course they won't.

And as for the difference between a game and a film, in a game you are controlling the character. You are making the active choice to kill something or someone.

Absolutely right Vitalstatistix, surely no parent would think that was ok.

Ok, I stand corrected

And as for the difference between a game and a film, in a game you are controlling the character. You are making the active choice to kill something or someone.

However a film has real people and realistic blood and gore. A game, however, good the graphics, is clearly not real - you are killing pixels and this is clear.

That said, I've only allowed DSs to have games that are 2 years too old. Having said that, GTA, or anything similar, will never cross my threshold.

This article on the Huffington Post advises that 51% of parents don't care if their kids play 18+ games. it's astounding...people have lost their minds.

m.huffpost.com/uk/entry/1416853

Sorry, I don't know how to link on the mobile app

And as for the difference between a game and a film, in a game you are controlling the character. You are making the active choice to kill something or someone.

I completely disagree. In a linear game like Call of Duty there isn't much of a choice to be made. If you want to be a pacifist, your only choice is to not play the game, the violence is as inevitable as watching a DVD of Reservoir Dogs. Also, people in games aren't real, breathing people with families like in real life. I certainly wouldn't choose to be a Hitman (Hitperson?), but that doesn't mean I can't enjoy the game series of the same name.

Ok, so there isn't a 'choice' but you are the one pressing the buttons.