"Boys will be boys"

[Amber76]

to think that the above is not an excuse for rough behaviour?

I have a 4 year old girl and an 18 month old boy. So far I've noticed little difference in the way they are and how they play. They've never wrestled each other but maybe he's a bit young. But I have never seen my girl try to wrestle another child - its just not something that has come up so far.

But we have a friend who has two young boys who are constantly play fighting and it can get very rough (things being knocked over in the house, my kids getting bumped into, etc.). They are constantly trying to kick or hit each other. My friend explains the very boisterous behaviour by just saying that all boys are like that. I don't agree and think it is a lazy excuse for bad behaviour. But I've also heard the same line trotted out at play groups and at birthday parties in relation to boys play fighting and trying to "kill" each other.

I am pregnant again and suspect it is a boy so am I going to have two little boys constantly wrestling each other for the next few years? Is this inevitable?!

LOL at 'fighting beautifully'! So true though, I knoe exactly what you mean. Hence why I said boys are more physical but not necessarily more aggressive. There is a subtle difference.

Well said LePetit

I have a boy who never really liked rough and tumble (of the type that I as a young girls absolutely loved - wrestling around on the floor, chasing and play fighting), but he and his friends loved play battles with swords, light sabres, imaginary spy weapons etc etc. The rule was that they must never actually make contact with swords or any other weapon - and they didn't.

And that kind of play is different from actually hitting, punching and kicking.

I didn't have a 'boisterous' child, but I hate the blanket demonization of an important kind of play.

Hate this term, not only because as others have said, it's usually used as an excuse not to take responsibility for a child's bad behaviour, but also because it reinforces all sorts of other negative stereotypes about boys and shapes their behaviour in a way that is really worrying. This article's pretty good: www.huffingtonpost.com/soraya-chemaly/the-problem-with-boys-will-be-boys_b_3186555.html

Children are listening, and what are they supposed to think when people say stuff like this? No wonder boys underperform at school when adults keep going on about how impossible it is for them to sit down and learn. Self-fulfilling prophecy.

Amber

most boys will play wrestling and rough and tumble. like lion cubs.
most girls don't.

it's not bad behaviour necessarily, it's something they need to do and get out of their system.

We have had 5 boys in a row (then a girl, then a boy) they are way more physical then my sister and I ever were.
DH is one of 4 brothers - he is not the least surprised.

my experience is that boys tend to get physical, girls tend to get verbal.
love, hate, whatever.

you'd better buckle up. boys will be boys. why shouldn't they be?

and next few years... more like next decade. minimum