to stop contact so DD can attend her siblings birth?

[CloudiaPickle]

DD is 8 and has been extremely excited throughout my pregnancy. This is going to be her final sibling and she has been saying all the way through that she really wants to be at the (home) birth and to be one of the first to hold the baby etc.

Baby is due on November 3rd and other DC were a few days early. DD is supposed to be at her fathers next weekend. I asked that he be flexible so DD could be here for thr birth if that's when things happen and said he could have the following weekend instead. He has said no outright and refuses to discuss other than admitting he has no plans either weekend.

My DSC and PIL are around next weekend so it could end up that DD is the only one not included in the birth/day after birth. Her father has form for telling her she isn't a real part of this family because she's the only dc that isn't biologically dhs so could use this to be very hurtful to her.

Aibu to keep her next weekend if necessary?

I don't think. The op is being unreasonable at all. The whole point of a home birth is so it's more calm and relaxed and not all clinical and scary with lots of people and screaming from other rooms and that family can be there and be as involved or not involved as they like.

No makes going to chain the dd to the bed side. Just give her the freedom to choose when she wants to be there and give her the first precious moments with her sibling.

YANBU
Sorry you are getting such a beating here.
You have explained that you are not cancelling the weekend, just asking that he bring her back if you are in labour. Very sad that he is blocking this to be obstructive.
I don't know what you can do about it though.