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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Nanny sick leave

229 replies

pommedeterre · 22/10/2014 09:54

As succinctly as possible - nanny doing three days a week for just over a year for pre schooler and toddler. All fine except bit crap at food and bit pestery for me to use her nail business.

I go on a version of mat leave for four months. Keep paying her and she helps with complicated nursery and school runs and takes toddler out. She goes in for routine operation, books two weeks off. Will now be longer as still poorly. Fine. Obviously paying her normal wage still, ok with that, grateful in fact for lucky timing with mat leave.
Except now i discover that when she felt better ten days in she babysat for someone else (then felt bad again meaning it will be more than two weeks).

Aibu in thinking she should have used her bit of energy to help me (just one school run would be awesome to be fair) rather than trying to make an extra £40???

OP posts:
Original poster
pommedeterre · 24/10/2014 08:20

That the best you can do dia? Grin

OP posts:
DiaDuit · 24/10/2014 08:43

The best in what respect OP? I'm responding to comments made about me. Am i unknowingly participating in some competition?

Why do you hope i'm not the nanny btw?

Nanny0gg · 24/10/2014 08:53

Interestingly OP hopes im not her nanny. I wonder why? Has there been some 'embellishment' to your story? What is it you dont want your nanny to see?

Dia you do have an interesting way of looking at things! I would read that as because you clearly have an opposing way of looking at everything to the OP and you disagree over the nanny's actions.

Not that the OP has 'embellished' the story!

DiaDuit · 24/10/2014 08:59

I would read that as because you clearly have an opposing way of looking at everything to the OP

No not everything. Just this one issue, which it seems pretty clear that the nanny has already shown she feels differently than the OP.

doobledootch · 24/10/2014 09:01

So you're upset that she didn't offer to work on her day off? That's not reasonable.

Original poster
pommedeterre · 24/10/2014 09:24

No monday is a working day for us. She was due to come back on the weds. If her sick leave could finished early for baby sitting and nails i would have expected her to offer us something for the Monday work day.

OP posts:
Original poster
pommedeterre · 24/10/2014 09:25

I hope your not the nanny dia because to be fair she would probably be upset that I am discussing her life on an Internet forum when I haven't even raised it with her. And she would have a point. No embellishment at all.

OP posts:
kali110 · 24/10/2014 09:33

I also think yabu.
She may have felt well enough to have just sat whilst the child was in bed.maybe she was doing it for a friend?
Iv had that op as an adult btw, i went from feeling well to feeling terrible a few times in three weeks after that op!

AlbaGuBrath · 24/10/2014 09:37

This seems an awful lot like getting your knickers in a twist over nothing.

When I was recovering from an op I was happy to drive alone in the car but no way would I have taken my own child let alone someone else's in the car until I felt certain I was capable.

A school run vs possibly sitting or her arse for a few hours watching telly listening out for a child are vastly different IMO. I have two part time jobs and was off from one but worked at the other because physically I was fit for one and not the other. I did inform both employers of the situation and there were no issues.

Original poster
pommedeterre · 24/10/2014 09:39

But surely with babysitting there is a risk that it will be more? Kids love waking and vomiting in the night ime! Surely you are taking a risk babysitting kids you are unsure you can look after if they wake?

OP posts:
Numanoid · 24/10/2014 09:40

YABU. Even after a small op (local anaesthetic) I would have been fine sitting in a house babysitting, but driving and taking kids on the school run would not have been possible.

AlbaGuBrath · 24/10/2014 09:41

And on a separate note she probably felt well enough on the Sat and had a view of returning to work for you on the next available day but realised this wasn't the case. She didn't do anything wrong unless you have a specific clause in her contract.

Would you have preferred she came to do the school run and realised half way through she wasn't well enough and be in a potentially dangerous situation with a child of yours in the car? Most people test out light duties before returning to work in order to check their fitness.

Original poster
pommedeterre · 24/10/2014 09:45

Yes alba I want to put my child in danger Hmm

OP posts:
BoomBoomsCousin · 24/10/2014 09:52

I understand why you feel a bit taken advantage of, but I think it's down to you not taking your role as an employer and manager seriously enough. Your nanny is employed by you on a contract with a range of responsibilities. You need to manage her properly.

If she's sick and you want her to consider doing a slightly modified job rather than being off sick, then you should be instigating that conversation. Not waiting on her. If she had taken a days nannying while she was off sick then I think you'd have a pretty good case for thinking she was claiming to be too sick to work when she wasn't. But babysitting and doing people's nails are not the same as nannying. You hadn't suggested to her she could come in and just do a bit of sitting with your baby or the school run and you haven't asked for a letter form her doctor outlining what she can and can't do. It's your responsibility as an employer to set the tone for how you handle sick leave.

She doesn't sound like a shining star of a nanny, but it doesn't sound like she's actually been badly behaved, just not 110% committed.

You should set her straight on the sick pay issue though if it isn't in the contract and you don't want to pay full sick pay (and it isn't standard for nannies). I suspect you'll find that reduces the amount of sick time she takes in the future and improves how she prioritises you over her other committments.

Stealthpolarbear · 24/10/2014 09:53

"DiaDuit

You are either fit for work or you're not.

Wrong! You can be fit for some work but not other work."

So she would be fit for "some work" for the op - her main employer and the ome who is currently paying her sick pay - by that logic. If she was up for lighter duties then id argue she has a moral duty to let her sick payer know this rather than continuing to let that peron believe she's unfit for any duties

FloatIsRechargedNow · 24/10/2014 09:54

If she's not coming back to work then put her on SSP, what does it say in her contract? Do whatever it says regarding Sick Pay in there. You seem to resent that you took ML and chose to reduce her working hours but still paid her full pay. Again, did you stick to her contract in regard to changing working hours?

You mentioned that you pay her tax, isn't most of this paid by your nanny and you deduct it from her earnings before sending it to HMRC? You do pay the Employers NI contribution however. You said that she doesn't pay tax on her nail and babysitting businesses. Are you suggesting that she doesn't declare these as earnings or is registered as self-employed? Better advise her that she needs to do this even if she thinks she doesn't have to.

TortillasAndChocolate · 24/10/2014 09:54

OP, YANBU. She's probably been more clueless and oblivious to this being an issue than deliberately underhand but I'd feel the same as you.

I'm really surprised at how harsh some of these responses are. Even if people disagree, I can't see you've said anything to make anything get this heated!

AlbaGuBrath · 24/10/2014 09:57

Well there you go so surely you'd rather she made sure she was fit before returning then?

I really think you're making a mountain out of a molehill.

Stealthpolarbear · 24/10/2014 10:04

But at the point she realised she could perform light duties, wasnt the onus on her to tell her main employer, the one who is paying her sick pay, to see whether there were any duties that employer could give her? The issue around driving is a red herring.

skylark2 · 24/10/2014 10:09

She could be trying it on.

Or she could have thought she was better, agreed to the babysitting (possibly to check out how it went), and realised during the course of it that actually she wasn't.

I'd also suspect that she's asked to take kids to the cinema because she still isn't feeling great and it's less energetic than running after them, so I think you're being a bit mean to say no.

AlbaGuBrath · 24/10/2014 10:11

If it had been on a working day then yes but as it wasn't there is absolutely nothing wrong with her having taken on a babysitting job.

No standard contract would have a clause about this so I very much doubt she is in breach. The OP would be within her rights to amend sick pay to that laid out within the terms and conditions if it's different to what she is currently paying but other than that there is nothing she can do. Simply it's none of her business.

Original poster
pommedeterre · 24/10/2014 10:12

I haven't said no to cinema by the way, have booked tickets.

OP posts:
Original poster
pommedeterre · 24/10/2014 10:18

stealth is articulating better than I am what I feel.

boom - I run a team of people for work and agree, I treat them very differently. They don't get bday and Xmas pressies! I think with a nanny I wanted it to be slightly different and have her more as part of the family. Would also worry about annoying her and then handing kids over!

I have made the point that ssp is standard for nannies. It was obvious she was expecting full pay for this period.

OP posts:
Original poster
pommedeterre · 24/10/2014 10:24

float - nanny is paid as per tradition for Nannies - net to gross so her rate is her net rate.

OP posts:
Original poster
pommedeterre · 24/10/2014 10:26

alba - I think that she put someone else's kids in danger on sat night following your logic then.

OP posts: