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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Nanny sick leave

229 replies

pommedeterre · 22/10/2014 09:54

As succinctly as possible - nanny doing three days a week for just over a year for pre schooler and toddler. All fine except bit crap at food and bit pestery for me to use her nail business.

I go on a version of mat leave for four months. Keep paying her and she helps with complicated nursery and school runs and takes toddler out. She goes in for routine operation, books two weeks off. Will now be longer as still poorly. Fine. Obviously paying her normal wage still, ok with that, grateful in fact for lucky timing with mat leave.
Except now i discover that when she felt better ten days in she babysat for someone else (then felt bad again meaning it will be more than two weeks).

Aibu in thinking she should have used her bit of energy to help me (just one school run would be awesome to be fair) rather than trying to make an extra £40???

OP posts:
TheLovelyBoots · 23/10/2014 20:20

I would not be impressed with a nanny that asked me to book the cinema on her first day back after 2 weeks paid sick leave.

Blondeshavemorefun · 23/10/2014 20:50

Always check your contract before sick pay - I do get it in mine tho rarely use it also in the south

No to cinema. Yes it's half term but doesn't need to do that on day one. Many Halloween activites at farms etc

Or just a play at home and carve a pumpkin with your girls and park/fresh air pm

wobblyweebles · 23/10/2014 20:58

I think she's taking the piss. But also I would only pay 1 week of full sick pay then put her onto 50% or similar (which is the deal I was on the last place I worked).

whostimeisitanyway · 23/10/2014 21:47

You seem to have had a tough time on here.

Why are you paying her full pay when she is only doing half the work at the moment?
What does her contract say re sick pay? A lot of nannies only get SSP.

Tonsillectomy in adults can be v painful so fair enough if she is signed off sick but she shouldn't be accepting extra work (unless she has a sick note specifying that she can't do certain duties but can do others). Have you seen a med cert? I would definitely speak to her about this and say that you are disappointed.

longjane · 23/10/2014 22:08

When you are babysitting and child get sick you phone the parents to come home.
When you are nannying are a child get sick you cope phone 999 dr or whatever . You don't expect the parents to come like you would if they were on a night out.

She works for 3 days a week you pay NI and tax for those 3 days . The rest of week she is self employed. So no sick pay for those days. If needs money she can work on those day if she wants .

Of course you nanny needs money she has eat ,pay bills same as anything esle.

All nannys out never be Facebook freinds with your boss's as she will use it to spy on you like OP has done.

chinam · 23/10/2014 22:13

YANBU. I totally understand that your nanny might be too sick for her full time role but if she felt able to do some light duty work, ie babysitting then surely as her employer those hours belong to you and you could have assigned her some similar light duties.

Original poster
pommedeterre · 23/10/2014 22:22

longjane - if my kid was ill enough for a 999 call I'd be there faster than the national speed limit would allow whatever I was doing at work. Are you seriously saying some parents wouldn't?!

Spying? Hmm. On her nail business fb page. No tax paid on her nail and babysitting work so the tax I pay is her only tax if that's relevant.

OP posts:
ADishBestEatenCold · 23/10/2014 22:32

"All nannys out never be Facebook freinds with your boss's as she will use it to spy on you like OP has done."

Are you just making it up as you go along, longjane? Do you perhaps feel that adding in talk of facebook and spying makes for a better story? Wink

We were clearly told that OP came to hear of the babysitting job from the nanny's mother.

"it was her mum that mentioned the sitting job "

maddening · 23/10/2014 22:56

Dia - so how is the nanny sitting in ops house with a sleeping baby (while op does school run) different to driving to another house to sit looking after another dc - it isn't waitressing vs call centre it is baby sitting vs babysitting.

BonaDea · 23/10/2014 23:03

I think I'd have a word.

I agree that if she is off sick on full pay then she is not entitled to go and 'double dip' by earning money elsewhere.

whostimeisitanyway · 23/10/2014 23:07

Are you serious longjane?

'When you are babysitting and child get sick you phone the parents to come home.
When you are nannying are a child get sick you cope phone 999 dr or whatever . You don't expect the parents to come like you would if they were on a night out.'

You don't think a working parent would leave work to join a seriously ill child? I'm thinking you don't have children of your own.

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen · 23/10/2014 23:11

I agree with Dia and Outraged, YABU.

whostimeisitanyway · 23/10/2014 23:13

If she is claiming SSP I don't think she is legally allowed to be doing other work in any case apart from the fact that she has been signed off as medically unfit for work.

Viviennemary · 23/10/2014 23:19

I don't think it matters how strenuous or difficult her main job is and how easy babysitting is. If she is off sick she's off sick and shouldn't be doing paid work for anybody in any capacity. That is my take on what sick leave means.

MargaretRiver · 23/10/2014 23:34

YADNBU

Babysitters aren't paid £££ to sit on sofas
Sofas cope fine without being sat upon for a few hours

A babysitter that wasn't well enough to cope with a child vomiting / having a nightmare / wetting the bed or whatever would be a waste of the parents money

So she was claiming to be well enough to cope with childcare when she accepted the babysitting job

TooMuchCantBreathe · 23/10/2014 23:39

Gosh, what assumptions! Where did the op say that the baby sitting job was "turn up when dc are in bed and sit on the sofa"? Couldn't babysitting just as easily be "give supper, bath, read book bed, sit on the sofa"? I.e. just like nannying? Even if dc were in bed I doubt a nanny would call parents home if dc woke up and needed attention - wet bed, bad dream etc. An easy babysitting gig can quickly change and she'd have to be fit to deal with that.

I don't think I'd say anything op, just learn from the experience and look at your options going forward.

UmmAbdillah · 23/10/2014 23:42

YANBU - in a more "professional" setting (no offence meant - I'm referring to corporate etc) disciplinary action would be valid. If she did babysitting for free as a favour to someone, it would be irrelevant but paid work when claiming sick leave is fraud.

FWIW, it's unlikely that any doctor would issue such a detailed medical certificate as to state that she is fit to perform night-time babysitting duties vs daytime, as previous unnecessarily argumentative poster suggested.

Blondeshavemorefun · 23/10/2014 23:44

longjane are you serious??? Any parent would come Home regardless where they are if their child was ill/hurt enough to need to call 999

doobledootch · 24/10/2014 00:10

Giving her the benefit of the doubt it sounds like she was expecting to be back at work after two weeks, so was sorting out nail appointments, doing babysitting the Sat night before but then started feeling rubbish.

There is room in the story for this just to be one of those things rather than her trying to pull a fast one.

PeachyParisian · 24/10/2014 00:26

I suspect Dia is the nanny...
YADNBU OP.

UmmAbdillah · 24/10/2014 06:38

Hahaha Peachy I agree Grin

Original poster
pommedeterre · 24/10/2014 07:19

Hope not!!

dooble - I would but she was due back the weds for us and I'd had no offer of any help for the Monday which is a us day.

OP posts:
YesIcan · 24/10/2014 07:29

Nanny is being disloyal, and taking advantage.
The tone of your relationship sounds like she has the upper hand..

You are BF an infant and looking after a toddler, and paying her above the odds (reduced hours on full pay)... Btw, if she often takes your child to her mothers, a cm, then your child isn't getting the 1:1 care that you are paying for.

Yadddnbu.

Read your contact and unless it states she is entitled to sick pay, I would text (which I also think was a poor way to communicate her message) her back ok, or message received. But I would not continue to pay sick leave, or full days for half days work, or nannying rates for a child being minded by a cm, in cm's home with other children.
And I would look for alternative child care.

MorelliOrRanger · 24/10/2014 07:32

Yanbu

I used to nanny and would never do that, however I do think that everything she's done/arranged was near the end of her original sick leave so she may have been feeling better.

As a side if you are paying tax for her she's breaking the law if her nails/babysitting is cash in hand.

Definitely no to cinema, that can wait.

DiaDuit · 24/10/2014 08:16

I suspect Dia is the nanny

Grin

Some people just cant cope with the fact that people disagree. They have to attribute a hidden agenda to it.

Interestingly OP hopes im not her nanny. I wonder why? Has there been some 'embellishment' to your story? What is it you dont want your nanny to see?

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