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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Nanny sick leave

229 replies

pommedeterre · 22/10/2014 09:54

As succinctly as possible - nanny doing three days a week for just over a year for pre schooler and toddler. All fine except bit crap at food and bit pestery for me to use her nail business.

I go on a version of mat leave for four months. Keep paying her and she helps with complicated nursery and school runs and takes toddler out. She goes in for routine operation, books two weeks off. Will now be longer as still poorly. Fine. Obviously paying her normal wage still, ok with that, grateful in fact for lucky timing with mat leave.
Except now i discover that when she felt better ten days in she babysat for someone else (then felt bad again meaning it will be more than two weeks).

Aibu in thinking she should have used her bit of energy to help me (just one school run would be awesome to be fair) rather than trying to make an extra £40???

OP posts:
DiaDuit · 22/10/2014 09:57

She did a one off babysitting job. Are you saying she should be confined to bed and if not then she must come straight back to work? You have no idea what she felt able to do. Would you object to her doing some nails whilst off sick? You dont get to demand what she does or doesnt do whilst off sick. She will be back when she is fit to work for you.

Blondeshavemorefun · 22/10/2014 10:01

What does contract say about sick pay?

Some have ssp - if so then stop paying her full whack

If have 1-2weeks sick pay - youve paid it and stop paying

If says 4 weeks - then yes you have to pay - tho personally would be very pissed off she had time off from you but worked elsewhere

Personally I would be giving a written warning stating this can't ever Happen again. If she is too ill to come to work she is too ill to work elsewhere

Sounds to me nanny is taking the piss as you are paying her

And I'm a nanny with over 23 years sole care exp

Ps. Tell her about nails you never mix business and pleasure :)

Original poster
pommedeterre · 22/10/2014 10:05

I think staying up late babysitting worse than one school run though diaduit? I would feel the same about nails.

She has done my nails but now last gel has gone will be stopping.

I feel a bit unsure about confronting given that she looks after my kids. It feels v diff to staff I employ at work. Will check contract, was happy to pay until I found out about the sitting.

OP posts:
x2boys · 22/10/2014 10:06

I,m not sure I agree with that dia I,m a nurse lots of colleagues have part time other jobs ie bank work etc however somebody I know was dismissed for working at her other job whilst of sick from her main job as it was seen as fraud!

DiaDuit · 22/10/2014 10:10

think staying up late babysitting worse than one school run though diaduit?

You cant know if that was worse for her as you arent her.

Perhaps she gave the babysitting a go (i'm assuming night time so baby asleep and not much needing done) to see how she would manage before committing to 3 full days with you so she wasnt messing you around by starting and stopping again. Then the babysitting made her see she wasnt ready to be back at work.

DiaDuit · 22/10/2014 10:11

lots of colleagues have part time other jobs ie bank work etc however somebody I know was dismissed for working at her other job

A one off cash job is not the same as an employed part time job.

Greenrug85 · 22/10/2014 10:11

Yanbu

She has considered herself too unwell to do her job, nannying.

How is it acceptable to then go and do the same nature of job for someone else?

LadyLuck10 · 22/10/2014 10:14

I agree it doesn't sound right but put it into perspective. She's been with you for a year, kids are happy and she did this while she was booked off sick. Are you willing to give this up/ create an issue because she babysat during her time off?
If she ducked work to earn more money for a day then you have a real issue, but this I would let go.

DiaDuit · 22/10/2014 10:15

It depends what the babysitting was though. OP says she stayed up late so that would suggest night time. Child/ren would be asleep so basically she could sit on the sofa and watch tv for a few hours which is probably what she was doing at home while recovering. 3 full days of caring for a pre-schooler and a toddler is very different.

LIZS · 22/10/2014 10:16

agree , if she is up to doing a babysitting job she is up to at least having a phased return to work for you. How much longer has she been signed off for ?

DiaDuit · 22/10/2014 10:17

I think doctors write 'fit notes' now rather than a sick note. So they can state which activities the person can/cant do. I can easily see a doctor okaying her to do a night on the sofa babysitting but not okaying daytime care of small children.

x2boys · 22/10/2014 10:17

How is it not the same dia op is paying the nanny's wages whilst off sick.nanny is too Ill too work but whilst she. Is getting sick pay she is doing other work ? You are either too Ill to work or not !

Original poster
pommedeterre · 22/10/2014 10:20

dia - please read my posts, i was suggesting covering one school run to help me out not full day (which She hasn't done for seven weeks anyway as I am on mat leave so she has been doing 3 x half days recently anyway (at full pay!))

She had to drive to babysitting job so more than covering off one school run for me IMO.

OP posts:
DiaDuit · 22/10/2014 10:21

nanny is too Ill too work

At OP's job! She may have been able to manage babysitting that she knew would involve no energy at all. As i said- a person can be okayed by GP for some work but not all depending on what the work is.

Original poster
pommedeterre · 22/10/2014 10:22

LIZS - she had taken two weeks off as advised, that was up today and she texted yesterday to say she wasn't well enough to come back today. No official situation iyswim.

Am currently googling nurseries for the baby. Might be better for the weaning bit anyway.

OP posts:
DiaDuit · 22/10/2014 10:22

i was suggesting covering one school run to help me out

Had you asked her to do this prior to her doing the babysitting job?

Original poster
pommedeterre · 22/10/2014 10:23

I am very flexible about 'my job' currently as have newborn and am off work,

I think I have been v generous and been kicked in the teeth.

OP posts:
DiaDuit · 22/10/2014 10:23

Hang on- she was due back today and the two weeks she had off were doctor advised but you wanted her back within those two weeks?

Teeb · 22/10/2014 10:24

I bet she'd be fit to work in her job if her boss wasn't being so generous as to pay full pay while she's on sick.

OutragedFromLeeds · 22/10/2014 10:26

If it was night time babysitting then YABU. Sitting on the sofa while kids sleep upstairs is significantly easier than dealing with a complicated school run and/or an awake toddler. Surely that's obvious?

If it was a daytime babysit i.e. she was nannying for them then YANBU.

whois · 22/10/2014 10:26

I reckon it goes back to the rule my mum had... If you're too sick for school you're too sick to play out.

So if I'm too sick for work I think it wouldn't be on to go out for dinner with a friend. Or do another part time jobxxx

DiaDuit · 22/10/2014 10:26

Guesswork teeb

DiaDuit · 22/10/2014 10:27

Yes if she was doing daytime care of other child then you anbu at all as it's the same work but not if night time babysitting.

Original poster
pommedeterre · 22/10/2014 10:28

NO diaduit!!

I was more than happy to pay for sick leave however long she needed it. Having found out she worked for someone else during the two weeks I am annoyed!!!

Please read my posts!!! In the last two months she has worked part time on full pay (and will have two more months like that before doing three quarter time at full pay for a bit) and had sick leave covered. I am not mean to her at all!!!

OP posts:
DiaDuit · 22/10/2014 10:29

So when did you ask her to do the one school run for you if she was only due back today?