Nanny sick leave

[pommedeterre]

As succinctly as possible - nanny doing three days a week for just over a year for pre schooler and toddler. All fine except bit crap at food and bit pestery for me to use her nail business.

I go on a version of mat leave for four months. Keep paying her and she helps with complicated nursery and school runs and takes toddler out. She goes in for routine operation, books two weeks off. Will now be longer as still poorly. Fine. Obviously paying her normal wage still, ok with that, grateful in fact for lucky timing with mat leave.
Except now i discover that when she felt better ten days in she babysat for someone else (then felt bad again meaning it will be more than two weeks).

Aibu in thinking she should have used her bit of energy to help me (just one school run would be awesome to be fair) rather than trying to make an extra £40???

I would probably leave it personally if it was just this once. But I would find it a bit annoying!

DiaDuit, blimey! The OP's not in court here!

Just trying to work out what actually happened.

I'm not at all ragey. People really misinterpret tone here.

Well I am a bit scared

Surely it was your choice to pay her ft pay for only pt hours while you are off work so I don't think that is relevant here , except you've got yourself more financially encumbered while she is on sick pay. On what basis has she called in sick today ? Did you give her the opportunity to return to specific light duties which would a) help you out and b) enable her to work on her terms? If she claims to be too unwell to even get to a doctor or out of the house then you would be fair to question how she felt up to babysitting.

Is she doing nails while she is off ?

She posted on fb to tell people they could start booking in end of last week but no idea whether any have happened.

She posted on fb to tell people they could start booking in end of last week but no idea whether any have happened.

Where is this in her two-week leave?

I agree with Dia. I can see why it's annoying but maybe she thought 'I'm nearly going back to work anyway so I'll see how I feel with this one night' and then realised it was too hard. I don't think she maliciously thought she would earn some extra cash while being off sick, probably just didn't really think about if she could manage it or not.

Also, I find working alongside a mum on maternity leave to be much harder than a sole charge job. Yes you may finish early, or have a break during the day while mum takes a child or two, but the children are harder to settle with two different authoritive figures around. Eg, If I'm ill, I'll go into work and know that I can explain to toddler that I'm tired or whatever so can we play quiet games, have a sofa day etc. however, if mum is home, toddler will not cuddle up on sofa with me or play quietly as she will constantly be looking for where mum has gone... So I would be more likely to call in sick then as I know it wouldn't be a restful day.

Last thurs she posted that people could book in from this week onwards.

Can see where you're coming from. But...

Am amazed that she was up to babysitting job within the 2 weeks post tonsillectomy. That op is horrible in adults. Very painful.

It is entirely possible that the downhill bit wasn't caused by the babysitting, but just a complication during the recovery. There are definite points post tonsillectomy where you are feeling better one day, to feel awful the next, with scabs sloughing off, bleeding etc.

I think there is a deifference in terms of energy required between babysitting a sleeping child and actually looking after an awake toddler or dealing with school run.

I'm not around except for last hour when we do tea together. She takes toddler to her mums to play with her mums charges (cm).

I think I would ask about it, if she is also starting to do nails as well.

She wouldn't be eligible for SSP is she was would she?

pooka - I was totally onside with her recovery being longer etc until I heard about babysitting. As pp have said my seven week old sleeps quite a bit too and is bottle fed with ebm.

At the end of last week she was obviously starting to feel better, hence nails post and babysitting. But then like Pooka said, she must have felt worse since then, so she is probably now turning nail work away too.
Is she taking toddler to her mum's while you are at home during the day? I take my charges out during the day because it's easier than being at home alongside the mum, but if I was ill, I wouldn't want to be taking them out, I'd want to stay home in the warm and have a quiet day IYSWIM? Which I would find difficult with mum there. Too many chefs bla bla bla...

Totally agree. She goes to her mums on her days off anyway so don't think it's a hassle for her to go there with toddler. She is a lovely girl but I think she might be a bit more mercenary than I am and I am finding it hard to compute.

Assume she is at home and not helping her mum out . Any chance she could take your toddler temporarily (thinking she may have space over half term if someone goes away)

Sorry, have not rtft, just a couple of pages. Based on what you have written I don't think YABU. Just on principle I don't think it's fair or ethical to be signed off (on full pay) sick from one job but doing another, whether it's a one off or not. That would annoy me too. I work PT but do some voluntary work on some of the other days sometimes. I think my boss would take a very dim veiw if I didn't go in due to be signed off but carried on with my volunteering duties and she would be right to.

I don't think yabu at all - in fact I think you have been very reasonable!! If you are happy with her otherwise though I would consider keeping with the arrangement for now. A good nanny is hard to find.

Sorry but doing tea together with a tired new mum (and meal times tend to be stressful) it isn't easy!

Either you speak to her about it, ignore it of have a meeting about what you need/want from her (I'm sure you said she doesn't cook? Apologises if I'm wrong - but with three children I'm sure you need someone who does cook at least a little)

YANBU but I think you might be being too generous with sick pay. I made the same mistake and it lead to hard feelings (on my part) use this as an opportunity to reassess what she is entitled too. Could she do some housework for you when better instead of being paid full time for part time hours?

Wow you have had a rough ride from one poster op

If you are ill and need time off work fair enough. But if being paid full pay then I don't expect that person to work elsewhere while off ill

Yes it is hard having a mb about on ml. But she is lucky to still have a job. Many give reduced hours as can't afford full pay when they are on limited funds

You sound a nice boss where in the country are you. I'm looking for a 3 day job

Heehee blondes - am southern.

One question for the 'babysitting is easy' fraction. What about the times when it isn't?? Wouldn't a kid projectile vomiting/inconsolable for hours post a nightmare/shitting the bed/needing medical attention be very difficult to deal with? Surely always a risk with babysitting?

Tried to gently let her know I'm not a total pushover by talking about sick pay and pointing out ssp was standard. She obviously thinks full pay sick pay is standard however. I think she is mercenary and a bit naive. She offered to do my nails for free tom am (a scheduled work day for us) after asking to come back Monday. She then asked me to book cinema tickets for her and the girls for Monday.

I think I might have a think about alternate plans for summer 2015 and visit a couple of nurseries. The worries I had pre using a nanny about being reliant on one person suddenly seem founded.

I think it was cheeky of her to accept extra payments while she was meant to be too sick to work and being paid in full by you. You have every right to be annoyed.