"She doesn't want to lie down" Aibu to think you bloody get up with him then

[Rantymop]

7 month ds has started waking up a lot in the night. Dont know why.

It's always been me who gets up as my husband works and is therefore too busy and important to be tired.

Last night baby in bed at 7,woke at 11pm - 11.30, 1.30 - 4 and then at 6, I am up for the day now.

Each time I have come into the living room so h can sleep.

The baby wakes at 6 and I am exhausted. Bring him in bed as that sometimes works and h says "he doesn't want to lie down".

I'm on my knees here. I keep telling him I need him to do more. But he WORKS.

You have my sympathies OP however, why are you with this man? He sounds ghastly.

Your living arrangements are rather impractical, how can you have another child when you don't have room for the ones you already have?

Well we have had a small break through.

I am laying in bed having just woken up.

H tried setting ds in the night but ds wanted me.

Anyway, so h has said that after 5am he will settle ds and will get up with him every morning. I will get up at half 7 abs he'll leave for work at 8.

At weekends I can sleep as long as I like in the mornings.

I can hear him chatting to ds and doing the washing up.

As regards to the housing situation, older ds has his own room as do we. Only snag is our lounge is what should be the dining area, which is a pain. Many people share with a baby - most people I know especially in this part of London do as its so expensive. I have friends that eventually end up on a sofa bed so the baby has thier room.

We weren't planning on moving to a three bed until our lease runs out here next July, I felt we didn't need the hassle of moving with a small baby last July so I signed the tenancy for another year. It's a v small place but very convenient for ds school, drs, parks so in that respect it's very easy to live here.

Pleased to hear you are getting the chance of a bit more sleep

My husband works horrific long shifts at all sorts of crazy hours and is beyond exhausted, but we have 2 children; a 7 month old who wakes loads and will only settle with me, and a 2.5 year old who wakes quite a bit. Daddy takes the 2 year old when he's home at nights.

Your husband could help more. But he's not a selfish [insert expletive] if he hasn't understood what your'e going through. It may seem bleedin' obvious to you but until you've talked it through with him in a way that he hears you, he hasn't had a fair chance to act on your feelings. If you put your grievance aside for a moment and do it in a 'I'm sure you don't mean to hurt me, but when you do it makes me feel ' sort of way, there's less room for his ego to make him go on the defensive and he may listen. He may not, but it sounds like anythings worth a try.

You need to be nice to each other. See it from both perspectives. My husband never did the night waking as I breastfeed. When I went back to work i did the night waking and worked. It was awful. If your dh helps at the weekend I think you are lucky tbh. Do you think you might have pnd ?

Yes, I have awful pnd, I'm on medication which makes me feel less awful though.