To marry in the same year as my sister?

[fifi669]

My sister is getting married July next year. The venue is booked etc.

My partner and I have discussed marriage at length and next year would be ideal for us. We plan to ttc our next child from the summer so the year after would be out due to hopefully a pregnancy/newborn.

My sister originally said its fine but has now said she's worried that family from Ireland will only go to one of they're close together, also that my dad might pay less towards her wedding of I were to get married too. Our parents (both remarried) will help financially, they have done so for our brother, my dad is just notoriously tight!

My brother is hoping to emigrate to oz next year with his children.

Would I be unreasonable to also marry next year? I obviously would make my wedding as far from hers as possible date wise.

It really doesn't matter if you don't agree with parents helping out their adult children or not. Our parents do, we are most grateful for that. My mum will give the same twice. My dad would def if they were two occasions a year apart or something, almost def in this case anyway, it's just a fear my sister has. Our parents are more than wedding funders. I'm glad you could do it on your own, for us it's not possible.

I've never said I have to marry before her! Just that March is cheaper so would be ideal. August, beginning of September or October half term is ok. The nicer the weather the better. It just depends on how happy she'd be with these dates.

You sound like a complete Bridezilla in the making....why don't you just set the date and pitch up with your brood ....your reasons of can't be winter because my make up and hair etc make you sound superficial ....you don't want to 'just get married' you want to ensure you get the same payout as your sister from your parents....

You sound like a complete nausebox.

if you don't have to marry before her, then don't!

Choose Oct half term to give a suitable gap& suit the teachers!

Does your sister DP know the wedding is booked? Its odd than he hasn't officially proposed what happens if he doesn't do you have to wait even longer to get married?

There's a lot of "princess for a day" wannabes

There are also a lot of 'prince for a day' wannabees. It isn't always women pushing for the big lavish weddings you know.

How ridiculous, of course you are not being unreasonable. A wedding is one day, not one year. I agree that to be polite you should go after her though.

I think beginning of Dec would be lovely for a wedding, all christmasy and festive.

I think this is a problem when people plan their wedding a year or so in advance. Both my weddings were arranged within 6 months. Once we decided to get married it seemed pointless waiting. Both times the being married was more important than the wedding.
I think if you want to get on with being married then get on with it and have a low key wedding. If you want a fancy church wedding with relatives from all over then wait until after your sister.
If you need your parents to finance the wedding then discuss this with them as they may prefer you to delay things. If you can't afford to pay for it yourselves then you're probably fairly young so waiting to TTC for a few more months won't matter.
If you don't want to wait sort out a cheap wedding and finance it yourself and save the big family party for the christening of your first child together.

Yanbu You sister sounds like she is being very precious. I can't believe anyone would care when a sibling got married as long as it wasn't really close. I find that type of attitude amazingly immature. Weddings are not a competition.

I find it incredulous that people are worried about guests 'comparing' wedding in a negative way. FFS who would do that? ...and as for being worried about one bride 'stealing' another brides thunder, I'm stunned people can be so shallow.

OP, obviously you don't wont to upset your sister but you have very good reasons for wanting to get married next year - (your brothers presence being the most important ). I'd explain that to your sister and tell her that you will either get married at Easter or in August and that you will take her preference into account.

Hopefully, she will already have given this a little more thought and realised that if she continues to object to you getting married next year she is going to be responsible for your brother not be able to attend the wedding.

that's true my DH turned into a Groomzilla over the men's outfits and I mean ALL the men attending. Admittedly it was small wedding with only 10 of them but he still insisted on co-ordination the two clans Kilts.

Btw OP, I wouldn't bother responding to the more arsey posts. Some PPs are determined to see the worst

The booking your wedding before you have had a proposal sounds bizarre to me.
To me a proposal is just a couple discussing whether or not to get married. They have had that discussion and have chosen a date and booked a venue. They are therefore engaged to get married. A decorative proposal "moment" sounds all drama and no substance. The proposal is done.
I think if you told her you planned to get married next year before she told you she was engaged then you both have as much right to get married next year as each other. She should have got her announcement out earlier.
Your parents are the ones who need to OK next year though as they are the ones paying for it. It sounds odd that they have discussed how they'll fund the weddings already.
You and your sister should sit down with your parents and discuss it. I thought parents of brides financing weddings died out years ago. Most couples I know financed their own with both sets of parents contributing equally.

I may be totally off the mark here, but-

Why not just save the hassle and have a wedding after you've had your baby? It'd be nice to get married and declare yourselves husband and wife, and a united family together. And it'd still be "your day."

We went to DH's cousin's DS christening a few years ago and as a surprise they got married at the end of the ceremony! Do that?

Usually I would be more sympathetic to your sister but the fact her groom hasn't even proposed yet is a bit bonkers. I'm not even sure that I believe she has booked anything yet, maybe they are just talking around it.

So, because of that I would say book your wedding for March and make the whole feel of it different. That way there's still a few months between them.

Yabvu, it really seems like you want to get in first, and are pretty much determined to get married first. All your reasons are quite weak.

I completely understand why you want to get married but do it after your sister, I strongly suspect that your dsis didn't tell you that she had a date planned before yesterday because she's used to you trying to one up her.

I am very out of sync with general MN opinion as I just don't care who marries when. So if I was your sister I couldn't give a fig.

But just to say your March/October reasoning doesn't stand up. March if often very wet and blowy. If anything, the weather is more unpredictable than October. March 2011 we had a period of 30 degree weather. March 2013 it snowed!

DH and I got married three months after BIL and exSIL. exSIL and I had great fun comparing wedding ideas and did lots of girly things together before her big day. The fact that BIL and exSIL split up before our wedding also added a certain something to our wedding day as well!!

A week and a half isn't too soon if in church. You could be done and dusted, all relatives there, have the man you love and the PR for your ds if you got the vicar no marry you at the same time. No angst! All done! A special day!

It can be possible to marry in a C of E church on a sunday BUT very many churches will not do that. Have you spoken to your vicar? If you are fixed on a sunday wedding in church then you need to start with finding out if the vicar is willing.

I got married in March, it snowed, a lot!!!