to feel uncomfortable about my son praying at school?

[KirjavaTheCat]

DS is four and has just started reception. A couple of days ago, we were playing and he said something like "...and then we put our hands together without clapping like this, and shut our eyes and say, 'dear God' and then we say things"

I asked where he learned that and apparently they pray every morning. I find this odd because his class is made up of children from all different religious backgrounds, and it isn't a faith school. Why are they learning to worship?

We're not religious. I don't think I'm comfortable with him praying to 'God' every day. Should I say something? AIBU?

YANBU

Me and DH are atheist, we do not agree with religion, although DS will be brought up to respect the beliefs of others, therefore when DS goes to school we would not want him taking part in religious practices. I think it is wrong to teach children to pray in schools.

I'm an atheist but DS has just started in reception at a church school - it's our nearest school so no other option really. I wouldn't want to withdraw him from any of the religious things they do because he's very shy and wouldn't like being singled out. I just tell him that some people believe that there is a God and some people think it's just pretend, and he can decide what he wants to. He's decided it's all just pretend.

although DS will be brought up to respect the beliefs of others

but is this a two way street?

until is it I am uncomfortable with atheistic children being asked to tip toe round the cult members....

Hak, I am pretty sure I have explained my opinion. I don't think religion on a CofE school is necessarily a bad thing. That includes the 30 seconds or so of putting your hands together to say thank you. Why do you have a problem with that - is it a matter of semantics? Have I missed something you focussed on?

I have no idea.

Quenelle some of us who don't think it is a big deal won't go away for reasons I have already outlined. I may not think religion in school is a big deal, but I also don't think it is a bad thing. The worst case for me would be a child who was kept away from all cultural differences and did not learn how to respond appropriately, politely. Like choosing not to pray but to keep politely quiet when others are invited to do so.

A bit like those who choose to talk, shout, boo during a minutes silence - or the fact that the minute now has to be extended to somehow prove someone cares more!

I hardly think is forced praying their is no whipping if he chooses to just sit with his eyes close and think of spider man

Yabu

A bit of reflection on how we can be kinder or people who have not a lot is a bloody good thing in my view

By law non faith schools have to have a daily act of worship. This does not mean praying. It can be reflecting on a moral or such like. If you don't want your child to pray. You are within your rights to raise this and prevent it from happening

As always on these threads the people who are for/not bothered about it seem to think that people who are bothered think are scared or worried that their DC are being indoctrinated. Lots of 'oh I turned out fine'.

I'm not worried in the slightest that my DC will be indoctrinated or turn religious or take it as fact that god personally delivered their lunch that day.

What worries me, what bothers me is that worship and the practice of a specific religion is promoted over others and being given air time everyday in a state funded institution. And and IS indoctrinating. Say your DC have no idea of gods or deity's and then go to school at 4...one day the nice teacher says oh just put your hands together and say a little thanks for your lunch or the nice weather etc etc. It may seem strange at first. After 7 years at school its suddenly not strange. It becomes a cultural norm to put your hands together and pray to a deity you probably don't even believe in. As evidenced on this thread by the sheer amount of people who think there is nothing strange about teaching children to talk to a God that they themselves don't believe in!

Yes, no-one has to pray. If that is what is happening in your school OP, you should speak to the HT. Respectful quiet is all that is asked in any school.

Nomama all of that can be taught without worship. It is possible to reflect quietly without talking to a god.

Religious education teaches cultural differences. Worship is not necessary for this.

And in for a penny in for a pound, but it isn't JUST praying. Lots of non-faith schools have a religious bent depending on the head teacher.

My DC go to a non-faith school. Yet every Wednesday the assembly is taken by the local vicar (from head teachers church). The assembly is religious stories/morals/hymns/prayers.

Interestingly this is not classes at religious education, if it was I would be unable to withdraw my DC. As I am allowed to withdraw them, clearly its not being taught as 'some people believe' which IS religious education.

Igota in England it is a cultural norm at the moment. That will probably change over the years and more and more families opt their children out of this culture.

I think the reason that 'non believers' don't mind is that the message is a good one. Love one another. Treat others as you would like to be treated. There's enough for everyone if we all share.

What's not to like?

Dear Fairenuff

This is to inform you that from next Monday all DC will be spending 2 mins a day praying to Allah/Jehovah/Buddha/Ganesh/David Cameron. We don't imagine this will be a problem as DC will be allowed to just sit and be quiet if they don't wish to participate.

Yours

Headteacher

You wouldn't have a problem with this?

I am surprised that so many people are surprised.
Surely it was in the school's prospectus?

And children will do what they have done since time began.
They'll switch off and think about something else!

Theology is a fascinating subject.

And whether you believe all, part, or none of it, the bible and the period of history it spans is a mix of history, culture, archaeology, art, geography and many other fascinating subjects which have been depicted in many different way. A massive part of our culture.

Imagine not knowing any of it, what a great loss of knowledge.

No Igota I would not have a problem. Why would I? Two minutes a day of quiet reflection sounds lovely. We could probably all do with a bit of that

Fairenuff, I was rather hoping that if enough of us withdraw then the cultural norm may stop.

There is nothing wrong with the message at all. So lets stop praying and instead ask the DC to think for a moment how hard their parents have worked that day to provide for them, lets ask them to think of one thing they will do that day to make their school a better kinder place, lets ask them to spend 1 min thinking about someone who may be having a hard time that day. It is lovely and nice. But not in the name of a God.

Daily collective worship in a mainly Christian way is the current law schools have to abide by. You can remove your child if you want. That's your choice. But don't go in complaining. The school has its obligations. If you don't like it simply write a polite letter asking he be withdrawn. Be aware that this may mean he misses other bits in assemblies as although the school will do its best, depending on logistics he may miss more than the short prayer and traditional hymns. Again, totally your choice.

It isn't quiet reflection though. Its passing the buck to somebody else (imaginary or not). Why not have the quiet reflection without the deity?

Agreed AMouse I don't think religion has a place in school's apart from RE

Dear Fairenuff

This is to inform you that from next Monday all DC will be spending 2 mins a day praying to Allah/Jehovah/Buddha/Ganesh/David Cameron. We don't imagine this will be a problem as DC will be allowed to just sit and be quiet if they don't wish to participate.

Yours

Headteacher

That is quiet reflection without the diety.

I've just looked and it doesn't mention daily prayer in any of the (millions of) forms I was given. It's also not on the website. Maybe it's one of these things you're expected to 'know'.

Primaryteach87....and in that case it is also ok for the parents to go to school and explain the part of withdrawal legislation which says that DC aren't to be excluded from other parts of assembly and or important messages. Or shoved in a classroom with a book for 30 minutes.

All the withdrawn DC in our children's school sit on the end of the rows and the head gives a little nod when assembly is over, they all leave, head does the prayer, end of assembly.

For those concerned. The majority would have had some form of religious education. If you were educated in religious education between 60's and 90's it was, most likely, from a comparitive (Christian as the normative) point of view. YET you have a secular life. Your children will take a variety of perspectives on board. They might even be drawn to some. But they will, ultimately, form an opinion based on a variety of experiences.
It will also help to provide a framework. Prayer is either asking authority for help or reflecting on how to improve (life/self). I've also taught my children if they agree with a prayer to say 'amen'.
This immediately demonstrates they don't have to agree.

Kirjava ask the teacher and if you would prefer him to not participate, tell her that you will instruct him how to sit quietly for the duration of the prayer and think of something that he is thankful for. Than practise at home so that he knows what to do.