To tell my husband he can't go?

[cookielove]

Hello, bit of background, my husband and I usually have a relationship where we don't ask each other permission to do things but we do discuss engagements and whether one or both of us will attend.

Ok so we had ds 9 weeks ago, I have done all the nights with him i go to bed around 7-8 for a nap and dh has him till 10.30 - 11.00pm then brings him into me, he goes and sleeps in the spare room. I have ds all day obviously.

2 weeks ago dh went away for the weekend, the weekend after that his mates showed up on the pretence of dropping round gifts but they took dh to the pub for several hours and tonight last minute he went to the cinema leaving me with no nap. Now he wants to go away for another weekend and he must know he is pushing his luck cause he asked if he could go! I haven't given him an answer yet but I really want to say no.

Even when dh is home I do the lion share of the baby care and house work!

Aibu or should I just suck it up?

Sorry cookielove I didn't word myself very well at all last night! Wine may have been involved! just meant he is being so unreasonable It's unbelievable that's all, not that your a troll

Tell him to make his own choices about what's right to do when you have a newborn baby instead of hiding behind asking permission.

If he never waned children it was well in his power to not have them. Meh chose otherwise. Tough shit.

Hope you are having a better day today Cookie.

Things are fine with dh at the moment, he came back that night and had ds till 2am and after he was sick helped me clean him up. Ds actually slept till 6.30 after all that so it was actually quite a good night.

One of the main issues is that we live down south and dh is from the north so rarely gets to see his mates. So when he does see them it's almost always a weekend away instead of just a couple of hrs. Of course I want him to see his mates but I need his help to.

For the nearest weekend thing I said he can go during the day but come back to help in the evenings, it helps that this one is local. There is another thing at the beginning of November which he has said he is unsure if he can do

pulps no worries :)

OP, please don't expect your DH to 'help'. You should expect him to 'share' which is different.

I feel your pain OP... My DD is 9 weeks, DH is great with our older ones but useless with the baby. Even when I've flat out demanded help he's not been safe with her (fell asleep and almost dropped her) so now I don't trust him. It's so tough doing it alone, some people need it spelled out what you need from them.

You need a huge sleep. Is your baby breast fed - if not, can you go and book a Travellodge for an afternoon and sleep there while you leave him at home with the baby.