To be very upset about how this friend has treated me?

[FeelingSadAboutIt]

I've namechanged as this will probably make me recognisable.

I run twice a week with a friend, and have done for about 2 years. I've always thought that we got on well. We met through our DDs' school.

Lately my friend has been a bit off with me. Nothing I can put my finger on but I've just had vibes that she's being off. She has also become quite friendly with another mum from school, who for some reason has never liked me and has always been quite rude to me.

For the past fortnight my friend has said that she has hurt her back and so doesn't want to do any running for a few weeks. I had no problem with this and haven't been running myself since she said this. She actually sent me a text yesterday saying that her back is still bad, and she's going to have a couple more weeks of no running.

So, this morning I decided to have a run on my own, and about a mile down the road who did I see but said friend out for a run with the woman that doesn't like me! We actually had to run past each other so I put on a brave face and just said hello in a cheerful tone, but when I got home I actually felt really upset.

I enjoy running with my friend, I've started to really look forward to us going. And I'm upset about the nasty undertones that have clearly been there, and feel silly for not picking up on it.

AIBU to be upset or do I need to get a grip?

agree too on the silence. she will get dumped by the wendy, and that's her look out!

She's a liar and a bitch. Must have been a shock for you to find that out but at least now you know and can distance yourself. Still be polite, best not to make a scene if you have to see her every day but just try and keep your distance. Don't be embarrassed or anything like that - you did nothing wrong. And keep running if you like it, you can do it on your own.

Outrageous behaviour.

Hold your head up high, join a local running group and make a new set of running buddies

The thought of a running club might be a bit daunting but honestly you will be surprised they are not all Paula Radcliffe types ( some are obvs ) you must just give it a go !

Don't bother contacting this silly bitch.

Well, I haven't heard anything further from her and luckily didn't see her on the school run this morning. We do live pretty close to each other though, so I'm sure I'll see her pretty regularly. I shall just keep saying hello though and am not going to engage in any chatter or friendship with her any longer.

Stop feeling lucky you didn't see her. You have done nothing wrong. I would say nothing. Not even hello. I certainly don't say hello to people who are rude to me.

Join a running club, my mate did this and she loves it, does a park run everysat morning and once or twice a weekgoes on runnung club runs, they are a close knit group and they all get on well, I think to do this would show your so calledfriend you've left her behind, rather than her leaving you.

I wouldn't evensay hello, If you see her, just a vague nod, so you can't beaccused of beig arsey, but you're not makinmg too much effort.

she sounds like a total idiot, and she is probably suited to her cliquey new 'friend'... they'll suit each other well and can feed off each others nastiness... and exclude any nicefriends which is what they deserve!

I would make a point of running past her house with a new running buddy and make sure that you are laughing and very happy.

Its not you its her, like others said just smile and be polite and look forward to the cowbag being dumped by her new running buddy.

I'm sorry this has happened to you feelingsad.

There are mean people out there who cause unnecessary hurt towards others just because they can. I do not understand how or why this could ever give the perpetrator of such negative behavior any type of positive feedback. Something inside her must be broken.

Thanks everyone! Feeling a bit less sad about it now and more "Stuff her" about the whole thing.

The story of my life is that whenever I'm good friends with someone they end up crapping on me in some way, so I guess I shouldn't be too surprised really. I need to learn how to weed out the nasty ones before I let them into my life.

You are handling this so well. I truly hope you get to see it when the karma bus rolls around.

What a bitch!! Poor you :-( She's acting like a child, disengage.

you've said hello the once, that's enough, don't bothher again, just ignore her.

You are so much better than me - I would have had to say something along the lines of how pleased I was to see that her back appears to be better. Your approach is far more dignified.

FeelingSad you have shown so much dignity and keep on doing that, it will mean you win in the long run. That woman is shallow, mean and unkind, you are the bigger person in this. Yes, it hurts to be treated like this (I had something similar happen to me with a supposed friend and it was hard not to dwell on it but please don't).

Threads like this drive me nuts!

Why is she a 'bitch' as so many posters have delightfully said? We know next to nothing about her, or OP or the friend!

She clearly does not enjoy OP's company and/or running with her for whatever reason.

Sometimes it's awkward to get out of these things (she can't exactly say 'I'm not that keen on you' can she??).

In real life some people like you, some don't. They are not bitches if they avoid hanging around with you or do you all think you should spend time without people you don't actually like?

Blackbystealth she lied. It's funny how she became friends with somebody that does not like op and then suddenly becomes if with her. I winder what that person us telling op friend.

Off I meant

Have you actually read the thread? The "friend" was the one who was asking the OP to go running. They didn't need to run off laughing. It's not nice behavior to lie to someone. I really hope you meet some nicer people OP!

You're right backbystealth but there are other ways to go about it than lying and being snide.

Yes their behaviour was disgusting and idiotic, laughing and cackling together, about op no doubt. Op she was not a friend, really nasty at least now you can dispose of the trash.

It's her behaviour that wasent nice and was very bitch like tbh

Ok yes she probably lied - but honestly in real life (not 'Planet Mumsnet real life' where everyone apparently always says what they feel and tells it like it is) what does one say in these situations? Don't we all in reality swerve awkward situations and tell white lies?

There could be a million reasons why she didn't want to run with you OP:

You're too slow
You're too fast
You talk too much
You don't talk enough
You're critical
You're not opinionated
You're interested in topics she's not
Her friend shares lots of interests with her
Her other friend is having a hard time and they're talking a lot
She has a problem she feels she can't talk to you about
You're unsympathetic about her back
You're slimmer/fitter/younger than her and it's getting to her a bit

She wants to run with another friend for a while
She wants to run with another friend permanently

OR she really did have a bad back then it felt better temporarily and she went running with her other friend!

None of these possibilities would make her a 'bitch' would they?

It's crazy this MN view that anyone who dares not want to be friends with an OP is a bitch from hell who deserves all the karma they get.

Backby in thus situation I don't think so. And laughing at op when op turned back. If you look at tge whole situation it is plain to see what is happening! Bad back my arse!

No, it's how she treated op. Suddenly being off with her, making excuses about her back soon after meeting this other woman that dislikes op. Then running with her, passing op, op saying hello to her, they laughing pribably at her behind her back. Doesent take a scientist to work that one out.