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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be very upset about how this friend has treated me?

187 replies

FeelingSadAboutIt · 16/10/2014 11:52

I've namechanged as this will probably make me recognisable.

I run twice a week with a friend, and have done for about 2 years. I've always thought that we got on well. We met through our DDs' school.

Lately my friend has been a bit off with me. Nothing I can put my finger on but I've just had vibes that she's being off. She has also become quite friendly with another mum from school, who for some reason has never liked me and has always been quite rude to me.

For the past fortnight my friend has said that she has hurt her back and so doesn't want to do any running for a few weeks. I had no problem with this and haven't been running myself since she said this. She actually sent me a text yesterday saying that her back is still bad, and she's going to have a couple more weeks of no running.

So, this morning I decided to have a run on my own, and about a mile down the road who did I see but said friend out for a run with the woman that doesn't like me! We actually had to run past each other so I put on a brave face and just said hello in a cheerful tone, but when I got home I actually felt really upset.

I enjoy running with my friend, I've started to really look forward to us going. And I'm upset about the nasty undertones that have clearly been there, and feel silly for not picking up on it.

AIBU to be upset or do I need to get a grip?

OP posts:
iwishiwasacat · 16/10/2014 12:12

Are they twelve?! What ridiculous and awful behaviour.

SpuffySummers · 16/10/2014 12:13

YANBU.

Shes a bitch.
Drop her like a hot rock.

fluffyraggies · 16/10/2014 12:17

Very unpleasant behavior.

OP you can be sure that the way she has behaved will eat away at her in the quiet times. She will feel like shit and she deserves to. Even if she laughed and cackled with this new friend at the time they saw you.

Rise above it! (as my mum used to tell me) Find a new running buddy and put this well behind you. Flowers

Original poster
FeelingSadAboutIt · 16/10/2014 12:18

There's a saying I've seen on here about the best revenge being a life well lived or something like that. That's how I'm planning on dealing with it with her, just getting on with things and not letting it get to me.

Feel so upset though. I've actually been in tears over it.

OP posts:
trulybadlydeeply · 16/10/2014 12:18

She's not your friend, she sounds nasty and vindictive. ignore her, and move on. There will be lots of other people out there who would be happy to run with you, google running groups in your area.

Phalenopsis · 16/10/2014 12:18

Laughing, cackling and lying - oh she's one of those is she?

Tbh OP, I'd have kicked her as I ran past but that's me. Grin

Ignore her, never speak to her again. She sounds awful and weak.

LadyLuck10 · 16/10/2014 12:20

Yanbu she should have been upfront and honest about it.

Otoh maybe she just didn't want to run with you anymore and felt bad to tell you that. If she runs twice a week and it's only with you, do you think she wanted a change?
I'm not saying it's right, but if she did tell you the truth you would be hurt anyway.

fluffyraggies · 16/10/2014 12:20

I'm not surprised you've shed some tears OP. Don't feel bad or silly about that!

Good attitude to simply refuse to let it get to you any more now. She really isn't worth it.

BringMeTea · 16/10/2014 12:21

Oh poor you. That is horrible. Hurts now but it won't soon and she is nothing. Just a nasty person you once knew. Imagine being her. And you handled it brilliantly. Never contact her again.

desertmum · 16/10/2014 12:22

you handled it really well - yes you are right about living a good life. Carry on with your life, be cheerful and smiley if you see her and move on. What a cow.

Flux7001 · 16/10/2014 12:23

Shes a complete bitch. Both of them infact. What a nasty way to behave. If she wanted a change, she only had to say she was running with the other lady

outofcontrol2014 · 16/10/2014 12:25

YANBU Flowers Flowers.

That is very hurtful behaviour - she has lied to you, betrayed your trust and it would be dead normal to feel rejected. In time, you'll be glad not to have her in your life any more, but for now have a nice big cup of hot chocolate and look after yourself.

duchesse · 16/10/2014 12:26

OP- she's a stupid cow. Drop her.

Ohfourfoxache · 16/10/2014 12:27

She ain't no friend, that's for sure Sad

You sound lovely and I think you dealt with it very sensibly. You don't need people like that in your life Thanks

merrymouse · 16/10/2014 12:28

She's always been very keen and always texting me about it.

Fair enough. I suspect your RL perception is more accurate than my internet positive spin.

In which case, if she wasn't straightforward with you - "Wendy really wants me to go for a run with her - I know you two are a bit like chalk and cheese, but you know me, I'll give anyone the benefit of the doubt - I don't think I'm up for two runs this week, but lets eat cake on Friday?" - you basically have three choices - ignore, confront or buy some trip wire...

inadarkplace · 16/10/2014 12:28

find a running group and a different friend

you're worth more than this Flowers

Ohfourfoxache · 16/10/2014 12:30

Grin at trip wire

Davsmum · 16/10/2014 12:33

Probably best to ignore it and just drop her as a 'friend'

However, personally,..I would confront her and ask her why she was too cowardly to tell you she did not want to run with you any more instead of lying. Tell her it reminds you of immature schoolgirls.

MrsCumbersnatch · 16/10/2014 12:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Itsfab · 16/10/2014 12:33

You poor thing Sad.

I am glad you did decide to go running again as someone else shouldn't dictate whether you keep fit or not, and it has done you a favour as now you know your ex friend is really a three year old in disguise. Apologies to three year olds who don't behave like a meanie.

fourwoodenchairs · 16/10/2014 12:34

Oh my god you poor thing. I would be absolutely gutted. I wonder if she will say anything? I'm glad she saw you, I bet she feels like a massive embarrassed cunt right now.

Chin up Thanks

redexpat · 16/10/2014 12:36

With friends like these who needs enemies?

Mammanat222 · 16/10/2014 12:38

It's a shitty and immature way to behave, but yes its bound to be hurtful.

However you are well shot if you ask me, remain pleasant but know that you have don't absolutely nothing wring here

X

Mammanat222 · 16/10/2014 12:38
  • wrong
Greenrug85 · 16/10/2014 12:39

Poor you! They sound horrid!

I would cut her out, ignore any texts or calls. And just be civil but straight to the point if she chats to you if you see her out anywhere.