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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to tell neighbour to act nicely when the SN school bus blocks their drive?

251 replies

Andanotherthing123 · 15/10/2014 09:55

Right, am totally sleep deprived so I'm turning this over to you for some sensible opinions. My 4 year old gets collected by the SN school bus every morning. I live near a school and there are usually lots of cars parked outside our houses so it's difficult for the bus to find a space to pull into. My next door neighbour but one (two houses down from us) has the corner plot right at the end of our road and a drive leading to her house. She is elderly and has family who often pop in. She also has form (as do her visiting relatives) for being rude and unpleasant.

Three times this term visiting relatives have gone mad if they are stuck behind the bus as we get my son on, if there is no space for it to pull in. If it pulls in and blocks their drive in anyway, they repeatedly beep their horn or shout stuff at us until it's moved. Getting my son on the bus takes no longer than five minutes (usually a couple of minutes) but it's hard to hurry him as he finds leaving the house really, really hard because he doesn't cope well with change.

I know it's not great for them but aibu to think they could cut us some slack as there really isn't another option? Wibu to put a polite note through the door explaining the situation and asking for understanding or should I just let it go? I'm so angry about it that I worry next time it happens I'll loose the plot and get myself arrested.

OP posts:
MmeLindor · 15/10/2014 10:38

If it were every week, then I would understand their frustration but not their response.

Can you ask the driver to avoid that particular drive?

IamOldGregg · 15/10/2014 10:40

Take some flowers and explain the situation. They sound utter dicks but kindness is best - some people really are nasty aren't they!

NoMarymary · 15/10/2014 10:40

We had ridiculous neighbours in both sides (one since moved) and one went crazy just because we parked on the road, not blocking their driveway. I mean screaming and ranting at us for parking on 'their' road. The other side objects to DH parking up to the edge of his driveway because he is unable to get into his drive 'in one swing'. I've no idea why there is this crazy attitude re parking near someone's house!

Frankly I would try the polite response asking for understanding and if I didn't get it I would totally ignore them. I might even tell them to piss off! Don't let it affect you or you child. There's little they can do, they are not friends, they can't influence your nice neighbours so don't let it bother you.

moaningminnie2 · 15/10/2014 10:42

...and aren't the 'visitors' having to block the road for 5 minutes if they can't get in the drive.that must be very stressful, I wouldn't like that at all.

RunnerHasbeen · 15/10/2014 10:44

Is there no bus stop really near you that you could do the pick up from? Surely that would avoid the school parking madness and the hassle of the driver calling to say where they found a space. Once you had an established routine, your son wouldn't have to deal with much change or aggression from your neighbours?

Either that or approach the local school, to see if there is anything you can do to make the parents more considerate. If an e-mail went out saying, please don't park at x at these times, you are blocking the school bus for y school and causing disruptions, people would hopefully respect it and you would be able to ask them to move if they parked in front of your house. Then you can see your neighbour and have something constructive to say "I've tried talking to the school, you can see how hard this is for me, I am trying to help and reduce the problem."

Minisoksmakehardwork · 15/10/2014 10:46

How close is the school to your house and would the school be receptive to letting your son's school bus park in their car park to do the pick up/drop off? Or do what our school mini bus does and park on the yellow zigzags...

Sunna · 15/10/2014 10:46

By Bollards I meant those plastic cone things, sorry, wrong word.

My parents had carers calling every morning and it would have made life very difficult for them if the carers were unable to park and get into the house to see to them. Carers' time is very limited.

Speak to the driver and see if he can change the time he calls.

Hurr1cane · 15/10/2014 10:46

There's an SN bus that comes up my street, stop in the middle of the road and then it takes a while to get the child in a wheelchair off the bus and into the house.

Quite often we arrive at the same time and it blocks the street so I can't get into my drive with my own SN child, who hates stopping.

Do you know what I do?

I bloody well wait.

Even if DS is getting upset. I wait.

Their trying to get a fucking wheelchair bound child off a bus for fuck sake. Why on earth wouldn't I have all the patience in the world for something like that?

And if anyone said they would be pissed off/ beep etc, then they really need some empathy. If I can do it with my child getting distressed, than a fully grown adult that just has to wait a bit can as well.

HavanaSlife · 15/10/2014 10:47

Maybe because he has sn minnie so going out a few mins before and just popping him on the bus isnt something that can always happen

powergen · 15/10/2014 10:49

you should have a word with the bus driver , he shouldnt be blocking the drive , i wouldnt be happy if my drive was blocked everyday .

thereturnofshoesy · 15/10/2014 10:51

true fanjo
why would you give a rude person a present
how odd

reddaisy · 15/10/2014 10:52

Every week my drive (and road) is blocked by the dustbin trucks, sometimes for up to 7mins as they collect everything from our cul de sac. It is annoying and I catch a train to work which I sometimes miss but I just have to wait or leave earlier, I understand that they are just doing a job and there is no other option as our road is small so I don't know why your neighbours can't understand as well.

HavanaSlife · 15/10/2014 10:53

Its 3 times since jan power would you really be unhappy that you had to wait a few mins to get into your drive 3 times in 8 months due to a bus being used by a child with sn

socially · 15/10/2014 10:54

powergen so where's your solution.

That was a chronically unhelpful post.

flipchart · 15/10/2014 10:54

By Bollards I meant those plastic cone things, sorry, wrong word
Call them what you want, you can't just put them out on a road. You are causing an obstruction and it is illegal.

There was a bloke in Blaenau Ffestiniogwho used to put cones outside his house every morning from 7.30 am to 6.00pm everyday because of, in his words 'those bloody English bastards'. ( tourists who weren't illegally parking). Police had a word. He soon stopped.

Hurr1cane · 15/10/2014 10:54

Powergen seriously? You would seriously be annoyed by that? Because I'm not

Lambsie · 15/10/2014 10:55

This isn't the op's problem. Pick up spot is up to the bus driver and council.

flipchart · 15/10/2014 10:56

you should have a word with the bus driver , he shouldnt be blocking the drive , iwouldnt be happy if my drive was blocked everyday

Read the post powergen!
3 times in 10 months.

Sunna · 15/10/2014 10:58

A chap down our lane (infested at school run time) does it every morning for about 10 minutes so the nanny can get onto their drive. He's been doing it for at least 5 years, to my knowledge.

It's only for a few minutes, maybe the police would turn a blind eye.

starfishmummy · 15/10/2014 10:58

I wish being ready and waiting was always possible Moaning. The buses here are in chaos at the moment (cost cutting so longer routes) and unfortunately my crystal ball was broken last week when they turned up 20 minutes early. So next day we were ready "in case" and they came even earlier at 8.....and on Monday he was ready before 8 and they came at 8.45.....

MsMarvel · 15/10/2014 10:58

Did you say that there's a bus stop I the street that people park in? If I read that correctly then that is definitely the first thing to deal with. Photos of cars in bus stop and contact the council.

Original poster
Andanotherthing123 · 15/10/2014 10:59

Powergen I have not said the drive is blocked every day - the bus pulls in to wherever there is a space along our road. Very, very occasionally, there is no space so the bus has to stop in the road or at the end of the street near the neighbours drive. 3 times in 10 months this has caused neighbours a two minute delay. Six minutes since January.

Getting a young child with Asd on to a bus is not the same as getting an NT child on a bus. It's bloody complicated.

OP posts:
HavanaSlife · 15/10/2014 11:00

And read the thread power as its not every day

socially · 15/10/2014 11:00

Bollards, cones, call them what you will are a red rag to a bull to me.

There's a street near the shops in our town centre where a load of residents put them out to reserve spaces, as a lot of people park there if they need to nip into town.

I would take pleasure in moving the cones and parking there anyway. Such a blinkered, narrow minded NIMBYist thing to do.

vodkanchocolate · 15/10/2014 11:02

Hello, total sympathy here I have no advice but its so rude people dont seem to have any patience at all. A special needs bus is fairly obvious these people sound totally selfish, it may be frustrating for them but thats life. I have a daughter with delayed development and was in a pushchair up until last year and I know its not the same but once getting out of a taxi outside my mums and trying to sort her out and one of her neighbourts were making a great fuss about it, I found it slowed me down some more as the more I rushed the more I dropped things etc.

Have you got anyone who you could take with you to have a word with the neighbour?, just tell them that if they are so concerned to contact the bus people and make a complaint im guessing they wouldnt as they arent doing anything wrong. Maybe aswell have a word with the bus driver see if you could come up with some sort of solution. Could you contact council wardens in regard to the school parking situation? See if there is anything they could suggest I know we have them regually at our school