Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to tell neighbour to act nicely when the SN school bus blocks their drive?

251 replies

Andanotherthing123 · 15/10/2014 09:55

Right, am totally sleep deprived so I'm turning this over to you for some sensible opinions. My 4 year old gets collected by the SN school bus every morning. I live near a school and there are usually lots of cars parked outside our houses so it's difficult for the bus to find a space to pull into. My next door neighbour but one (two houses down from us) has the corner plot right at the end of our road and a drive leading to her house. She is elderly and has family who often pop in. She also has form (as do her visiting relatives) for being rude and unpleasant.

Three times this term visiting relatives have gone mad if they are stuck behind the bus as we get my son on, if there is no space for it to pull in. If it pulls in and blocks their drive in anyway, they repeatedly beep their horn or shout stuff at us until it's moved. Getting my son on the bus takes no longer than five minutes (usually a couple of minutes) but it's hard to hurry him as he finds leaving the house really, really hard because he doesn't cope well with change.

I know it's not great for them but aibu to think they could cut us some slack as there really isn't another option? Wibu to put a polite note through the door explaining the situation and asking for understanding or should I just let it go? I'm so angry about it that I worry next time it happens I'll loose the plot and get myself arrested.

OP posts:
MrsCakesPrecognition · 15/10/2014 13:25

Its not like the driver, escort, OP and children have parked up and gone off for a lovely cup of tea. The engine is probably running, adults are there, a child is clearly boarding the bus. It is clearly a temporary delay. Patience would be the most appropriate response, not abuse.

mum9876 · 15/10/2014 13:26

It just makes me think how selfish some people are. Whether it's legal or not, waiting 2 minutes is not such a hardship. Goodness me, I'm sure the driver would move along if an ambulance had to get through.

Some of our neighbours go out and shout at people if they've dared to park legally in our street - they don't like strangers coming in. It's not lack of space to park themselves - they've both widened their drives to fit 4 cars in even thought they've only got one. I try not to engage with them if I can avoid it. I don't think I'd bother with a note.

IsabellaofFrance · 15/10/2014 13:27

Its a sad world when people can't wait 2 minutes to let a disabled child get on his school bus.

Would they beep if it was an elderly person getting on the bus?

moaningminnie2 · 15/10/2014 13:28

The Highway code paragraph 243 states DO NOT stop or park.........

•in front of an entrance to a property

merrymouse · 15/10/2014 13:28

OP your DS has an ASD and could well find being blocked by another vehicle distressing in the future! Which side will you be on then???

I would be gobsmacked if the OP has never been delayed by another vehicle/animal/person/event while her DS is in the car.

moaningminnie2 · 15/10/2014 13:29

where does the driver stop on days he doesn't block their driveway?

flipchart · 15/10/2014 13:30

If the bus I'd required to stop at a specific address it should not be going to the neighbour's house

ffs!

merrymouse · 15/10/2014 13:32

I checked the highway code out here. Only the bits prefaced by "Must not" are enforceable in law.

Having said that some councils do fine people who park over driveways - not sure if they fine their own school buses during drop of and pick up though.

plecofjustice · 15/10/2014 13:33

For the £3 a box of chocs would cost, I'd be inclined to pop round with them and explain. The bus is causing an inconvenience and, if your son has ASD, they may be unaware that he has a disability - it isn't widely understood, particularly amongst older people who may assume he is just "going to naughty school" and don't understand why he needs extra consideration. They may turn out to suprise you with helpfulness once they're aware of the situation.

moaningminnie2 · 15/10/2014 13:34

Would they beep if it was an elderly person getting on the bus?

presumably that would be ay a bus stop though, not in front of their drive.
I think this is an unacceptable situation and the council should identify a safe place for your child to board the bus, and you walk there to meet the bus every morning and evening.I am not clear, when your DS is so small still, why he needs to be taken from right outside his house.

merrymouse · 15/10/2014 13:34

where does the driver stop on days he doesn't block their driveway?

See OP, sentence 2.

HavanaSlife · 15/10/2014 13:36

ProudAS the driver has parked there 3 times in 10 months because there was no where else to park, not because he just fancied thst space. For 2 minitues at a time, its a non issue

Owllady · 15/10/2014 13:36

She has said they abuse her if the bus has stopped outside her own house, blocking the road to the other house. It appears the bus sometimes pulls forward to people through but has to pull In outside the person house (I would assume to let past vehicles, then reposition - too much experience of this)
The police told me it wasn't illegal to quickly drop off or pick up outside someone else's drive unless they needed to get out for an emergency. I apologise the hc states differently. I imagine in the eyes of the law the level of abuse aimed at a minor who is disabled is far more serious than parking in front of someone's drive for 2-5 minutes. If you want to be pedantic

HavanaSlife · 15/10/2014 13:37

Its not clear? Because her son has sn and finds it difficult leaving the house maybe?

Owllady · 15/10/2014 13:38

Going to naughty school?

ProudAS · 15/10/2014 13:38

Merry - being delayed is not the same as being blocked.

I have an ASD myself and can handle delays once in the traffic flow but being blocked in my drive could cause a meltdown on a bad day.

hazeyjane · 15/10/2014 13:39

I am not clear, when your DS is so small still, why he needs to be taken from right outside his house.

I would guess that as he is a child with ASD who, as the op says, struggles to get out of the house to get on the bus at all, that it would be even more difficult if she then had to get him somewhere else.

plecofjustice · 15/10/2014 13:41

owllady

An old-fashioned term used by my grandparents for the 1950's style pre-cursor to BESD schools, effectively non-residential borstal for naughty kids. A common attitude about BESD in my experience from older people

Lilythewonderdog · 15/10/2014 13:41

I'm afraid I'd have to walk right up to them and calmly say " you can see the situation, we will be gone in a couple of minutes, can you suggest a way of solving this problem so that my SN child can get on his school bus outside the house as per his rights without causing an inconvenience to anybody else?" Put it back on them to find a solution. I get really frustrated with people blocking my drive... But there are always other places to park and I do have a yell at them. That said, if you can see its someone getting in a car/ bus you understand.. It's once the driver leaves the car I get annoyed. I'm happy that a vehicle blocking my drive has a driver in and I need to get out they will move. I think disables space outside the house is required. Speak to the transport company, see what they can suggest.

hazeyjane · 15/10/2014 13:41

... who may assume he is just "going to naughty school"

Wowzers!

IsabellaofFrance · 15/10/2014 13:42

presumably that would be ay a bus stop though

Nope, the lady next door gets a bus to the day centre she goes to. It stops outside every morning about 8.50 and drops her back just after three.

ProudAS · 15/10/2014 13:42

Lily - that's fine if the vehicle will move immediately but I suspect it won't.

Owllady · 15/10/2014 13:43

The council have very clear guidelines on why children with Sen need to be picked up outside their hone/close to
Look on their transport to school section

Op, I would report it to the council. The bus driver and escort most probably have anyway. They can mediate with the neighbour without your involvement and will be able to explain without emotion the guidelines and procedure.

Carry on as you are, it's not worth getting upset about honestly.

merrymouse · 15/10/2014 13:47

But they aren't being blocked - they are being delayed. They would be blocked if the bus driver parked up and had a cup of tea or popped down the shops.

Owllady · 15/10/2014 13:48

Yes or got out and crapped on their drive, which is most probably the most tempting option

Swipe left for the next trending thread