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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to tell neighbour to act nicely when the SN school bus blocks their drive?

251 replies

Andanotherthing123 · 15/10/2014 09:55

Right, am totally sleep deprived so I'm turning this over to you for some sensible opinions. My 4 year old gets collected by the SN school bus every morning. I live near a school and there are usually lots of cars parked outside our houses so it's difficult for the bus to find a space to pull into. My next door neighbour but one (two houses down from us) has the corner plot right at the end of our road and a drive leading to her house. She is elderly and has family who often pop in. She also has form (as do her visiting relatives) for being rude and unpleasant.

Three times this term visiting relatives have gone mad if they are stuck behind the bus as we get my son on, if there is no space for it to pull in. If it pulls in and blocks their drive in anyway, they repeatedly beep their horn or shout stuff at us until it's moved. Getting my son on the bus takes no longer than five minutes (usually a couple of minutes) but it's hard to hurry him as he finds leaving the house really, really hard because he doesn't cope well with change.

I know it's not great for them but aibu to think they could cut us some slack as there really isn't another option? Wibu to put a polite note through the door explaining the situation and asking for understanding or should I just let it go? I'm so angry about it that I worry next time it happens I'll loose the plot and get myself arrested.

OP posts:

Sunna · 15/10/2014 10:19

Apply for a disabled bay outside your house then the problem will go away. Meanwhile buy some bollards to prevent anyone else parking outside your house.

They aren't being unreasonable in expecting the drive to their elderly parents to be accessible when they call, especially if parking is difficult. They are being rude in shouting but I can understand their annoyance. I'd be annoyed if I wanted to pop in to visit my elderly parents and had to wait five minutes.

londonrach · 15/10/2014 10:21

Flogging...just thinking of some of my elderly patients who have carers etc who pop in for 5 minutes to help or do x and y. They have a huge list of people they need to see. If they cant get in to visit due to a bus on the driveway it makes them late for the next one or worse still they have to go on to the next one to return later. As for the times relatives come worral is right theres a huge list why that time...

LadyLuck10 · 15/10/2014 10:21

This is an issue between you, the driver and traffic department op to work out. It's not for the neighbour to get dragged in. If it's infrequent then I think they can have a bit more understanding. If it's becoming very often of the driver knows he can always just stop there then they have every right to be irritated, especially if they need to get out.

WorraLiberty · 15/10/2014 10:21

Sunna you can't just buy bollards and put them outside your house

Unless you want to get in trouble for obstruction.

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 15/10/2014 10:22

A disabled bay just so bus can park there for 2 mins?

SaucyJack · 15/10/2014 10:22

I think you and the driver need to find another solution tbh. I'm not surprised they've got the knock if they're regularly being blocked in.

thereturnofshoesy · 15/10/2014 10:22

i would not even speak to the, when mine was being picked up, they sometimes blocked my neighbours drive. they never complained ever.

get onto the council and get a bay and make sure it has a post and is big enough for the mini bus too fit in.

Original poster

Andanotherthing123 · 15/10/2014 10:23

The best I can offer is a calm discussion of why the bus (very occasionally) might hold them up on the road or block their drive way for 2 minutes. I don't expect them to understand or cut me any slack. In fact I expect them to be rude to me. I can offer them a dignified me, but I can't stretch to flowers and chocolates as a reward for beeping and shouting.

But I do understand it's irritating for them. I should look on the bright side and be glad that my other neighbours understand.

OP posts:

WorraLiberty · 15/10/2014 10:24

I'm willing to be corrected but I'm pretty sure the council don't just dish out bays willy nilly.

We don't even know for example if the OP has a car. If she hasn't, I can't see them granting a bay for a bus to do a pick up/drop off.

OwlCapone · 15/10/2014 10:25

This problem is not going to go away as, I assume, your DS is going to get picked up for many years to come.

Is there a reason you haven't applied for a disabled parking bay outside your house? Of course, this won't stop another disabled person parking in it but it might alleviate the problem.

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 15/10/2014 10:26

Disabled bays are for those with blue badges. We dont know OPs son has one.

StickEm · 15/10/2014 10:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 15/10/2014 10:27

Everyone is also missing the fact the OP has said the woman and her family have always been rude and unpleasant people.

starfishmummy · 15/10/2014 10:27

Personally I wouldn't bother talking to them because I suspect they will be unreasonable anyway.
We live in a street with no off road parking so with cars parked either side, ds's SN bus usually has to block the road in the mornings (because people haven't left for the day), obviously we are as quick as we can be.
So far its been 12years and no one has moaned. Your neighbours are just arses.

WorraLiberty · 15/10/2014 10:29

Is it 5 minutes or 2 minutes?

Either way, the chocolates/flowers aren't intended to be a reward for beeping and shouting, that's just silly.

It's to show you do accept they are being inconvenienced here and that you're sorry about that (providing of course you do accept it).

Sometimes the nastiest of neighbour disputes can be nipped in the bud early on, with a little acknowledgement on both sides.

Original poster

Andanotherthing123 · 15/10/2014 10:30

It's not regularly, it's happened three times since January this year. I could ask about a bay but I think it's very unlikely as my son doesn't have mobility issues.

Also, they have never on any of those three occasions waited 5 minutes - a maximum of two. It can sometimes take 5 mins to get him on but mostly not.

Thank you all for your responses - I think I'm winding myself up thinking about it and might have to go and have a cup of tea.

OP posts:

Lambsie · 15/10/2014 10:30

I don't think you would get a disabled bay for this reason. Around here you would need high rate mobility to even apply for one. The council would say the pick up would need to be done somewhere else.

ouryve · 15/10/2014 10:31

We wouldn't be entitled to a disabled parking by, btw. Despite the boys both having SN, and one going to a specialist school, neither is entitled to a blue badge. In the OP's case, you can't apply for a bay outside your house for someone else to park in
www.disabilitynow.org.uk/questions-and-answers/am-i-entitled-disabled-parking-bay-outside-my-house

StickEm · 15/10/2014 10:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SaucyJack · 15/10/2014 10:32

I didn't miss that fanjo- I just don't think it's relevant here.

It's illegal to block someone's car in their driveway. This isn't mitigated by them being a general arsehole.

WorraLiberty · 15/10/2014 10:33

Really though (as a few PPs have said), the dispute is between your neighbour and the driver.

Instead of beeping and shouting, they could always take it up with the council/bus company.

trevortrevorslattery · 15/10/2014 10:34

YANBU at all. The fact that all your other neighbours are OK with it shows you how unreasonable these others are. I would also put a note through rather than speaking face to face with them, but then I do hate confrontation!

ouryve · 15/10/2014 10:36

I agree with that one, Worra - that's what the OP need to tell her neighbours to do, next time it happens. I wouldn't want to become embroiled in any sort of discussion with neighbours who have a history of being unpleasant when the situation isn't of my own making, in the first place.

moaningminnie2 · 15/10/2014 10:37

Although I sympathise with you, 5 minutes is a heckof a long time to be blocked in if you are trying to get out.maybe she has an appointment to get to, maybe the 'visitors' are actually carers.
I am not sure why it takes 5 or even 2 minutes.If the bus comes at the same time every day, why not get your son out a few minutes early and be ready and waiting for the bus? He would be on in seconds then

socially · 15/10/2014 10:37

Next time they beep give them the finger and take longer.

Ok it's probably not the best option, but it's what I'd do.

Fuck 'em.

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