Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to tell neighbour to act nicely when the SN school bus blocks their drive?

251 replies

Andanotherthing123 · 15/10/2014 09:55

Right, am totally sleep deprived so I'm turning this over to you for some sensible opinions. My 4 year old gets collected by the SN school bus every morning. I live near a school and there are usually lots of cars parked outside our houses so it's difficult for the bus to find a space to pull into. My next door neighbour but one (two houses down from us) has the corner plot right at the end of our road and a drive leading to her house. She is elderly and has family who often pop in. She also has form (as do her visiting relatives) for being rude and unpleasant.

Three times this term visiting relatives have gone mad if they are stuck behind the bus as we get my son on, if there is no space for it to pull in. If it pulls in and blocks their drive in anyway, they repeatedly beep their horn or shout stuff at us until it's moved. Getting my son on the bus takes no longer than five minutes (usually a couple of minutes) but it's hard to hurry him as he finds leaving the house really, really hard because he doesn't cope well with change.

I know it's not great for them but aibu to think they could cut us some slack as there really isn't another option? Wibu to put a polite note through the door explaining the situation and asking for understanding or should I just let it go? I'm so angry about it that I worry next time it happens I'll loose the plot and get myself arrested.

OP posts:
Owllady · 15/10/2014 20:18

She hasn't called any of them names at all, she is exasperated that she doing something normal in order to get her son to school safely and her neighbour and family are being rude and aggressive to her and her 4 yr old son, who has complex disabilities, whilst he is trying to access his school bus to go to school.
They are being nasty, not her. She is doing what is expected of her by the council, by their guidelines and is getting verbally abused and intimidated whilst in charge of a vulnerable minor.

Marmiteandjamislush · 15/10/2014 20:21

I was referring to other posters' name calling Owl and I stand by my post, I said OP should not accept verbal abuse.

Marmiteandjamislush · 15/10/2014 20:22

The woman also needs care and assistance from family, Cad

Hurr1cane · 15/10/2014 20:29

Well my son needs care and assistance but I don't use that as an excuse to be rude and aggressive to other people who need care and assistance.

Hurr1cane · 15/10/2014 20:31

No laws are being broken. What they are doing is a bit like if I needed a disabled space and someone else was there first and I started shouting at them because they needed it and were there first because I needed it to.

It's out of order.

If they were parked first and the SN bus driver was being aggressive then he would be out of order.

Owllady · 15/10/2014 20:37

My mum cares for my gran before and after work, the man who lives across the road with his elderly parents is severely learning disabled and has to attend day care every day. My mum has never moaned about the family and she has told me she has to wait for his bus as that's how she got talking to his Mum and dad. I don't think she hasn't moaned just because she has a grandchild who has a complex disability, I think it's because she has empathy and plans her work round my grandma care. She's (my mum) in her 60s and still works full time
And yes. I still don't understand why someone feels the need to attack verbally someone with a child going about something normal, let alone a child so vulnerable
I don't get it
I don't know why someone would justify that behaviour. If the other family can't cope, they need to tap into the care available through the local authority (Hmm) or pay for it out of the aa allowance you can claim and yes, I know it isn't much but It's enough to pay someone for 15 - 30 mins in a morning if that's the kind if care they need . Or they could do a whole host of other things, which is no one else's business. To take it out on the op is wrong. The op is doing within law what is expected of her. She is doing her best as a carer and trying to make her child's life as easy as possible for him, filled with potential. It's what we all do (mainly)

Scattaboy · 15/10/2014 20:42

We have a similar situation in our street,it is my drive the bus blocks,I have never ever felt resentful of it,as you say it takes 5 minutes,it is a necessity and I really struggle to understand anyone being arsey about it.I do agree with the first poster though that a note is a very bad idea,just speak to them in person,but if it doesn't change things just try to ignore them as they are clearly not worth worrying about!
Sorry you are having to deal with it at all,if anyone visiting me got arsey with the bus that parks outside mine I would be appalled and tell them so and be apologising to the person in your shoes on their behalf!

maddening · 15/10/2014 20:44

Does 2 mins matter that much - it really isn't going to hurt anyone - they however are intimidating a child. No one is parking there all day - really it matters not the reason they are attending - the neighbour is in their home safe, the relatives are safe waiting for the bus and the dc is safe getting on the bus for 2 mins after which everyone is as they were - the intimidation is ridiculous for 2 mins. They know the bus will move off soon.

Hedger · 15/10/2014 21:04

I'm with you 100% OP Smile.

As a parent of a child (and indeed as a child) with special needs, you have to go through so much, day in, day out. If someone cannot have a tiny bit of compassion and cut you a little bit of slack, for what is really a very small inconvenience for them, then they're just a bad human being.

And I don't understand anyone on this thread who has said otherwise Confused.

fairyfuckwings · 15/10/2014 21:09

Your neighbours are selfish impatient arseholes. I would definitely NOT be taking chocolates round. Not unless I could gob I them first!

70isaLimitNotaTarget · 15/10/2014 21:12

Is your sons bus coming round to pick him up at the same time as all the other cars park in your road to pick up/drop of their DC?
That could be changed surely with an adjustment of route?

CadmiumRed · 15/10/2014 21:12

3 Cheers for OwlLady's post below.

tumbletastic · 15/10/2014 21:57

You have my sympathies OP. I hope your son is ok. Your neighbours sound like they have never had to deal with anyone with disabilities. And they sound like they have no empathy.

We had a twat who lives near us beep aggressively at our DD's SN bus. I hope that that person realises that they are potentially upsetting and causing distress to a bunch of little vulnerable children for fuck sake! Some people need to open their fucking eyes and wake up to the fact that other people live in this world too!!!

Sorry for derailing thread (rant over) Have a good evening OP and don't let it get u down

PrimalLass · 15/10/2014 22:11

It isn't on to block someone's house especially if they have carers going in

On busy roads, drives are often blocked by queuing traffic. It's no biggie.

maninawomansworld · 16/10/2014 10:34

Sounds trick. They don't sound like nice people at all but also try to see it from their side.
Presumably the bus rolls up twice a day (pick up and drop home), 5 times a week? Do these times coincide with regular visiting times for relatives / carers? I know if I was visiting an elderly relative several times a week and pretty much every single time I arrived I had to wait 5 mins for a bloody bus to move I wouldn't be in an especially good mood.
Maybe have a word with the school as they seem to be the root cause of this?

merrymouse · 16/10/2014 11:02

I don't think the school can do anything if people are parking legally.

I suppose the residents could apply for the road to be residents only, but then all residents would have to pay an annual charge and there is still no guarantee that the bus would be able to park outside the op's house.

Assuming the OP could get a disabled parking space for the school bus, it would only be useful if it were big enough for a school bus. That would be great, but her neighbours might not be too keen...

Lilythewonderdog · 16/10/2014 13:28

Proudas.... They usually move... Trust me??

PrimalLass · 16/10/2014 13:45

pretty much every single time I arrived I had to wait 5 mins for a bloody bus to move I wouldn't be in an especially good mood.

Did you read the thread?

Goldmandra · 16/10/2014 14:05

Presumably the bus rolls up twice a day (pick up and drop home), 5 times a week? Do these times coincide with regular visiting times for relatives / carers?

Read the OP's posts.

This has happened three times in ten months for two minutes each time. That is a grand total of six minutes delay.

Whatever their point of view, they are being intolerant arses.

goodasitgets · 16/10/2014 14:23

My parking space isn't outside my house. I get blocked in (or out) twice a day mon - fri for the same reason (minibus)
There's nothing I can do about it, I get irritated when they take 20 mins because they are chatting but the actual on/off the bus there's nothing I can do about it

Pagwatch · 16/10/2014 14:43

It's actually not tricky.
The transport is collecting a child who needs special assistance to get to school. To collect him safely they collect him from as close to his home as possible. His parents and carers effect this as quickly as possible.

Anyone who has a major issue with what is simply an unavoidable aspect of getting a vulnerable child to school safely is a massive dick.

My son is collected from outside my home, on a double yellow line, near traffic lights in a busy route in to town. Anyone annoyed at being inconvenienced for the 2 minutes it takes for me to board him can kiss my arse

edamsavestheday · 16/10/2014 14:57

pagwatch

merrymouse · 16/10/2014 15:10

Anyway, never mind school buses, these thoughtless mothers really mess up the traffic near me - they faff around crossing the road then half the time they decide they want to go back again! It's the dads that have the real attitude problem though, stomping around as if they own the place!

PrimalLass · 16/10/2014 15:14

Pagwatch for Traffic and Education Minster. Grin Well said.

Pagwatch · 16/10/2014 15:33
Grin I could do that!
Swipe left for the next trending thread