to 'encourage' my dd to give up her hobby?

[georgieporgie1]

My dd(7) has been doing a hobby very heavily for two years, including doing competitions, with a large amount of success (not a stealth boast, just setting the scene). However, for a number of reasons this success is likely to not continue, and I suspect it's a large part of why she has enjoyed the hobby.
It's a very expensive hobby, which we had no idea of when we got into it, and means we can't afford family holidays, affecting me, dh and dd(3). It also involves a lot of afternoons hanging around for dd(3) waiting for dd(7) to do her thing, when dd(3) would rather be playing at home.

Some of her school classmates have recently taken up the competitive side of the hobby, and now the competitiveness appears to be spilling over at school in a not very nice way. My dh and I for various reasons hate the competitions and wish we'd never got involved, and my dd is certainly nowhere near as enthusiastic as she was, and never wants to practise.

However, she wants to keep doing the competitions. Would I be unreasonable to 'encourage' her to just do the non competitive side of the hobby, or even to swap hobbies? She is interested in trying out some other hobbies, but we have no idea whether they would suit her.

I would send DH with her to attend the comps. That will prob be much more boring than having you there and might put her off more quickly. It's def not fair on DD3

It's obviously Fight Club.

First rule and all that.

Coumarin

Still laughing at Quidditch

OP people always want to know. It is better just to change your username and give the info so you can avoid 9 pages of people asking.

It sounds like her interest is waning anyway so why not just have a chat with her and see where her head is at?

OP, have you had the conversation with your dd about her unwillingness to practise? It seems to me that she needs to face the fact that the acclaim that she enjoys from winning competitions will just disappear if she doesn't practise; also that it's not fair to expect the rest of the family to make sacrifices for her hobby if she won't make sacrifices herself. I realise that that sounds very cold-blooded when dealing with a 7 year old, but if you're asking her to scale back it would help her to think about whether she would really mind.

Downamongtherednecks- expensive sports and hobbies carry no weight with UCAS at all. If you were serious when you said that- you will be disappointed.

Ha ha. Loved the guesses.
I think six days a week is too much for a seven year old. When does she get to ride her bike?

What an odd thread. DD does an expensive hobby (Pony showing) but doesn't match the OP's spec. Given it's supposedly very time consuming and short lived and bitchy probably swimming or gymnastics but these wouldn't have outted her as most DDs do these at some point.

How will telling us the hobby out you? She can't be the only one doing this hobby. Daft.

It's a difficult one.

Whilst not fishing for the hobby, I'm just going to say (because I know about this one and what it involves) if it is tennis, then 100% completely scale it back, use the money on family holidays definitely.

If something else, then I suppose the answer is I don't know . But if you are certain (or you can get a brutally honest opinion from the coach/teacher/whatever) that her success is not going to be continuing then gradually scale it back 6 times a week, 5 times a week, 4 times a week etc over a period of a few weeks/months?

You WBU to scale it back if she had a very real talent, likely future success and most importantly a thirst for this thing. Most people who are successful these days have an all consuming focus and desire for their thing. Look at Andy Murray and his mum Judy Murray. Both were definitely 100% focused and dedicated to his success when he was aged 7 (I know someone who knew them at that time).

You can get UCAS points for dance exams I think. Though I don't think that's what downamongsttheducks was talking about?

Is it expected of parents to spend 1500 - 2000 on the dress at top level And to think I thought dance tutus were expensive...

Yes you can, Amelia- and for music exams. But I'm pretty sure that's not what she meant. This is a mistake so many people make............

Dd1 dances... On Sunday we are driving an eight/nine hour round trip for dd to take part in a conpetition... She will likely dance for 2 minutes. Yes... Expensive, yes we are mad but its what you do when your child has a talent. She is 11.

I would say cut it back but don't completely give up.

"And with a new dress comes a new wig, new hair accessories, tiara, make up, dance pants etc"

Not forgetting sock glue......

"... Expensive, yes we are mad but its what you do when your child has a talent. She is 11. ,

Is it?

wrt exams and ucas points if you were to dance and play music there is scope to build up a lovely amount of points.
My dd hasn't done many exams yet but is stacking up a fair few now.
Its particularly good if you want this type of thing as a career and you aren't the brightest academically.
You can have the equivalent of 2 or 3 A levels at a young age if you are committed.

I really don't see how what the op's daughter does is relevant?

either she is unreasonable to ask her to give it up for the rest of the family's sake or she isn't. The answer has nothing to do with what the hobby is and if people approve it.

OP ywnbu if it really is impacting the rest of your family but she may be disappointed as an adult too. Is it possible she could do some fund raising which would prove that she really cared enough but also help you out with money?

I don't know, but I want to know what the hobby is!