To think she should dress down?

[Starry06]

Hi everyone - long time lurker, first time poster!

I recently (3 weeks ago) started a part time business degree at a local university. There is a group of about 15 of us of mixed ages from mid twenties to 50ish and we meet on the evenings.

There is this one girl who must be in her late twenties that always turns up in a full business get-up. And I'm not talking your bog standard skirt/trouser suit and top. She is EXTREMELY smart in obviously very expensive, very conservative 'executive' dress. From what I can gather she is a semi senior position for a Bank or finance company or bank. The rest of us turn up in jeans and jumpers and she looks completely out of place and it makes me feel uncomfortable and that she thinks she is better that the rest of us.

AIBU to have a word with her and tell her to make an effort to dress down a bit? I just think she won't be able to make friends unless she makes a bit more of an effort to fit in.

If I were you I'd mind my own business.

If she's coming straight from work YABU to expect her to drag a change of clothes around with her just in case she makes you feel uncomfortable

YABU

Well, presumably she's coming from work? She may not want to join in and make friends. Just because she makes you feel scruffy it doesn't make her a bad person.

I'm struggling to come up with something that isn't rude. Suffice it to say, YABU.

You may be doing a business degree but that doesn't give you the right to get into everyone else's business.

If she's damaging your self esteem, why don't you dress up instead of expecting her to dress down?

As everyone else has said she's clearly coming straight from work. That's pretty obvious...

YABU. Bankers tend to dress very conservatively. If she is coming from work you have to presume that she will be in work clothes.

Is she joining you straight from work? Clearly if she is then she is dressed appropriately for her working environment.

Why are you so bothered about what she wears?

It sounds like you are the one with the problem. Why do her clothes threaten you? She has probably come straight from work.

When I did my marketing qualifications I went to evening class straight from work. If I had had meetings with suppliers all day I would be dressed in my smartest work clothes. Would that have bothered you?

YABVU....not her fault if she's made an effort and you haven't! Not sure why it should bother you and why does she think that she's better than you? Maybe she just takes more pride in her appearance?

Do you have low self esteem? As someone dressing more smartly than you is clearly an issue for you in that it makes you feel uncomfortable.

Also if you're concerned she won't make friends because she looks 'too businesslike' that sort of says more about the people in the class than her...

ummm... how often do you all meet up? is it EVERYONE?

sounds like my idea of fresh hell

what, you think she should get changed from work just to make you feel better about yourself? Really?

And how would you feel if she told you to make more of an effort? I know a lot of people who dress up and i am a scruff ball. Its never bothered me and id never dream of telling anyone to dress down.

Shout 'Briefcase Bastard!' at her next time?

Perhaps she is there to further her career rather than make friends? But if you think she is struggling to make friends then you would obviously go out your way to be nice to her and include her, right?

I have to say I'm a bit by the idea of someone who's doing a business degree but seems alarmed by the sight of someone wearing a suit

YABU if you are doing a business degree maybe you need to get into a more professional frame of mind

You should go right up to her, look her straight in the eye and tell her to come in the kind of clothes people where while painting or gardening, tell her that she should have some old jeans somewhere with holes in.

Give her the friendly suggestion of starting there and then by rubbing some mud into her face and clothes, if there happens to be a tramp near by perhaps bully her into changes clothes.

THAT'LL TEACH HER FOR LOOKING SMART!

Surely reversey? Surely...

Is this a reverse or something? Quite likely that she's coming straight from work, do you really expect her to change? It's a business suit, totally appropriate for a business degree as well. I could understand if she was working for a Burlesque club and turning up in full gear..

YABU and to be honest I think you should look at changing courses. Maybe pottery where you'll be in matching aprons??