To think she should dress down?

[Starry06]

Hi everyone - long time lurker, first time poster!

I recently (3 weeks ago) started a part time business degree at a local university. There is a group of about 15 of us of mixed ages from mid twenties to 50ish and we meet on the evenings.

There is this one girl who must be in her late twenties that always turns up in a full business get-up. And I'm not talking your bog standard skirt/trouser suit and top. She is EXTREMELY smart in obviously very expensive, very conservative 'executive' dress. From what I can gather she is a semi senior position for a Bank or finance company or bank. The rest of us turn up in jeans and jumpers and she looks completely out of place and it makes me feel uncomfortable and that she thinks she is better that the rest of us.

AIBU to have a word with her and tell her to make an effort to dress down a bit? I just think she won't be able to make friends unless she makes a bit more of an effort to fit in.

I think this must be a reverse.

The problem is all yours. She's not uncomfortable.

YABVU

Its a part time course

She comes to college on her way to or from work - in her appropriate work attire.

You'll not go far in business life if you feel uncomfortable with people who dress differently from yourself.

To be honest, I think she'd be better off not being friends with the sort of people who judge her for what she wears.

Really? If this isn't a reverse, you should probably get surgery to remove that massive chip on your shoulder.

What she wears is her business and for all you know, she's coming straight from work. As for telling her to dress down or she won't make any friends, I'm wondering why she'd want to befriend a group of women who are so quick to judge a fellow student on appearance alone.

The rest of us turn up in jeans and jumpers and she looks completely out of place and it makes me feel uncomfortable and that she thinks she is better that the rest of us.

Key bit there is feel. Your feelings, in this case, are yours, and your neuroses are yours to deal with. Next you'll get upset if she tells you she wants to do well on the degree!

AIBU to have a word with her and tell her to make an effort to dress down a bit? I just think she won't be able to make friends unless she makes a bit more of an effort to fit in.

YABU. If your group can't cope with someone still wearing their work clothes, then she would be better off not having you as "friends"!

YABU and a bit of a twat. You are not arsed about her 'making friends', you are feeling shabby as someone else is dressed smartly. Have a little word with yourself and knuckle down to your degree course.

Oh, and she's not a girl; she's a woman.

YABU and rude and judgemental.

I am at college part time and working full time, should I be expected to get changed after work so as to avoid offending any of the more casual people in my group?

Bizarre attitude. YABVU.

Also she might have enough friends already

Why should she conform to what you think she should be wearing? Anyway, she's not there to make friends, she there to study, although obviously friendships are a bonus.

Likely explanation is that she is coming straight from work, however that may be how she just chooses to dress. I used to work with a man who wore a full 3 piece suit, tie, very smart shoes etc to work every day, in an office where people mostly wore jeans or casual wear. He did it simply because that's how he likes to dress, that's how he would dress even at weekends when not at work. it was great, because it expressed his individuality and personality. I can never imagine anyone ever asking him to dress more casually because it was making others uncomfortable.

What an idiot!

Seriously, if she makes you feel bad that's your problem not hers. She's probably coming from work and even if she isn't that's just tough. It's up to her what to wear and if you don't like it and have an issue with it you need to sort yourself out!

Why should she? You're being ridiculous

Heheheh at the idea that you should 'have a word'...

No. You really shouldn't.

OP i know how you feel, there are some corpses in the local crematorium who think they are better than me, in their suits. I told one of them to Dress down a bit, he got all burnt up about it.

"I just think she won't be able to make friends unless she makes a bit more of an effort to fit in."

So none of you will be friends with her because she dresses smartly?

Perhaps you could all grow up?

I've heard tell that there are people in existance that don't even own jeans!!

Got to be a reverse with scruffy work exp student.

Jasonandyawegunorts

Even if she isn't coming straight from work (which I would assume she is) you have no right - or reason - to tell her how to dress!

What an absurd thread to be honest.

I don't think you are on the right course if someone in a business suit intimates you.

She could turn up in a tutu and ballerina slippers, but it's got naff all to do with you.

Just because your judgey pants aren't a smart...