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AIBU?

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Original poster

To not want to meet nor have any clue how to handle this sexist arse?

387 replies

Vintagecrap · 10/10/2014 08:51

I am meeting the boyfriends father tomorrow. I have been pre warned that he is rather sexist and is known for offending people.
He will refer to woman as ' look at that little machine' and ' the bird likes x, does she'

The boyfriend says that he would probably be diagnosed with some condtion nowadays, but as it is he is 60 ish and it isnt going to happen, and that in some ways his behavoior has led him to be successful as he has done very well for himself in terms of career and wealth.

All of his previous girlfriends have hated him, bar one, who let him suck her toes once ( and i cant imagine a situation where this would even happen)

The brother is also going to be there, he doesnt work, lives like a hermit, lives off family money and rarely speaks.

Normal course of the evening is to get awfully drunk, argue about politics and wave their arms around.

I really do not want to sit in the company of someone who thinks im a ' machine' because i happen to have boobs and a vagina.
I have no idea how to handle it at all really.

I know no family is perfect, but at least mine made my boyfriend feel welcome and he was sent home with a ton of food and cake.

OP posts:
Original poster
Vintagecrap · 12/10/2014 09:26

Yep.

Still can't work out how that happened but it now doesn't surprise me. That was the gf he refered to as ' the little weird, round one'

Arse of a man

OP posts:
millionsofpeaches · 12/10/2014 09:26

Sorry don't mean to be nitpicky vintage but you said you got a taxi as you had had half a bottle of wine. You posted earlier that you couldn't get a parking space near your home so had to walk 5 mins in the dark at 1 am. Which is it?

ILovePud · 12/10/2014 09:29

How utterly horrible, you poor thing being stuck in that situation. The only silver lining, as others have said, is that your partner has shown his true colours. You can do so much better than this pathetic creature.

pictish · 12/10/2014 09:29

Complete arse of a man. Total buffoon.

Hatespiders · 12/10/2014 09:29

I'd have left after 2 minutes. (Probably wouldn't have gone at all, but I see that you wanted to be fair for your dp's sake)

Regarding the Cunt Song, it's by the Australian singer called 'Kevin Bloody Wilson'. He's a love-him-or-hate-him comedian/singer. I have to confess I absolutely love his songs and laugh til I'm sick. They actually draw attention to sexism, drunkenness, ASB, and other raw issues It seems the dp's family missed the point there! My fav song of his is 'Santa Claus, you c! Where's my f* bike?' About children demanding Xmas presents. It's a bit like Billy Connelly, strong stuff but excruciatingly funny if you don't mind the swearing!

SoftKittyWarmKitty · 12/10/2014 09:29

Fucking hell! I can't believe that there are men who act like that...well actually I can, but I've never witnessed it myself, thank fuck. As others have said, at least you've found out now, not another four months down the line. Personally I wouldn't wait for him to contact me, I'd be sending a text telling him it was over and explaining exactly why, finishing with 'Do not contact me ever again.'. Why even give him the chance to ingratiate his way back from it?

Original poster
Vintagecrap · 12/10/2014 09:30

I drove to my boyfriends.

We shared a taxi to his dad's.

I only drank half a bottle of wine between 6 pm and midnight. With food.

We shared a taxi back to the boyfriends.

I then stayed for 20 mins or so before leaving and drove my car back to mine, where I couldn't park.and had to walk in no light as the street lights go off at 12.

Finished trying to pick holes in my unfortunate evening?

OP posts:
fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 12/10/2014 09:31

Well if you think he has Aspergers then maybe go and just be understanding that his social awareness is poor?

pictish · 12/10/2014 09:31

Kevin bloody Wilson is nothing like Billy Connolly.

millionsofpeaches · 12/10/2014 09:32

No just confused.

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 12/10/2014 09:32

Sorry..ignore me.

Obviously I should have read the thread. Will do now

Original poster
Vintagecrap · 12/10/2014 09:34

He was ok for the first hour or so, that's the thing, behaviour got worse the more booze that was consumed.

Might be a song by a comedian. Don't find it funny. Find it less funny when I'm the only woman in the room and they are all roaring with laughter at 'pepe le pew'

I dint care to agree with him or tell him anything. Silence is sometimes more powerful and I really have nothing to say to him.

OP posts:
msrisotto · 12/10/2014 09:34

Wow, this is slightly unbelievable. I am horrified for you at how badly you were disrespected, and I'm sorry that this so called nice guy that you put 4 months of effort into turned out to be a knob of the highest order. Still, think long term and you have one hell of a funny story.

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 12/10/2014 09:34

He doesn't aound like he has AS.

He sounds like a drunken boor.

Hatespiders · 12/10/2014 09:35

I also think 'beef curtains' is very funny. But then, I'm of the pre-political correctness generation, and we could take jokes with large pinches of salt and have a good laugh without feeling guilty.

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 12/10/2014 09:35

Sorry you had such a bad night.

Wish people (your BF) wouldn't throw around diagnoses of ASD without having a clue about it

Original poster
Vintagecrap · 12/10/2014 09:36

Ah. My fault. Must have lost my sense of humor, huh.

Hmm
OP posts:
FrancesNiadova · 12/10/2014 09:37

You've had a lucky escape there op.
Well done for keeping your cool & keeping yourself safe.
Ex bf really does have a massive problem, the good news is that it's not yours any more.
This evening make yourself & your ds a nice meal, some lovely Cake and pour yourself a large Wine.
Have your lovely evening tonight with your little one Flowers

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 12/10/2014 09:39

Hmm at "pre political correctness generation".

Yes bring on the offensiveness and stereotyping. Progress is bad.

CornChips · 12/10/2014 09:39

beef curtains is revolting, and in the context of what the OP was subjected to, totally, completely utterly unforgiveable.

Hatespiders · 12/10/2014 09:40

pictish, there are indeed obvious differences between KBW and BC, but in their delivery (ie using swear words and provocative issues) they have similarities. Both can (as seen here) invoke strong reactions but are very very funny to many of their fans.

FunkyBoldRibena · 12/10/2014 09:41

OP - earlier you said I shall take the car and not drink, i like that idea.

You knew he could well be an arse! So why on earth take a taxi and trap yourself like that? I mean, it's your life and all but - just - why?

Hatespiders · 12/10/2014 09:42

CornChips, you have rather proved my point there!

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 12/10/2014 09:45

Yes hate. Pesky feminism. Much healthier for women to hear offensive shit and feel they have to laugh at it to be a good sport.

Hmm
MardyBra · 12/10/2014 09:45

"OP - earlier you said I shall take the car and not drink, i like that idea.

You knew he could well be an arse! So why on earth take a taxi and trap yourself like that? I mean, it's your life and all but - just - why?"

Give the woman a break. There's a difference between the odd sexist comment she was expecting in the OP and the horrendous experience she actually had.

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