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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want a girl

153 replies

daisiesandpoppies · 09/10/2014 21:01

Due next month.

I haven't had the gender confirmed but am almost positive it's a boy.

He'll be loved and adored, don't worry, but I have to admit given completely free choice I'd have chosen a girl, if I could.

Has anyone else had this? Was it ok when baby was actually born?

OP posts:
sharonthewaspandthewineywall · 09/10/2014 21:04

Yep. Wanted a boy first time round had a girl.
Second time wanted another girl and had a boy. Loved the bloody bones of them the second they were born

x2boys · 09/10/2014 21:09

I used to think. Wanted girls I had two boys I absolutely adore them can't imagine having daughters now!

Chocolatefudgebrownieicecream · 09/10/2014 21:09

Yes, wanted a girl with my second. Now only think about it when someone brings it up, and then only for a second. I cannot imagine things any different, and importantly, do not want it to be any different (and I really really wanted a girl!)

OhForFrigSake · 09/10/2014 21:10

I secretly wanted a girl both times. Got two boys. Absolutely cherish and adore them now and can't believe I ever thought I'd prefer something else!

Iggly · 09/10/2014 21:13

Er no. When I look at my two (boy and girl) I don't really think of them in terms of gender, I think in terms of personality.

MammaTJ · 09/10/2014 21:13

YANBU.

I was told by a friend of mine that I 'prefered girls'. I was not bothered first time around, or even second.

Third, I did ask to have a look. I was told I was having a boy. It was a shock, I did not know what to do with one of those!

My friend who had two DS's was determined she was not going to find out gender of her third. Her logic was if she found out early it was another boy she could build resentment, if a boy was handed to he after the birth, she would love the baby no matter what. She had a girl though!

somewherewest · 09/10/2014 21:15

Out of curiosity, why would you chose a girl?

I wasn't bothered with either pregnancy, but have ended up with one boy and another on the way. Now I just feel like a mother-of-boys and can't imagine anything else.

Minikievs · 09/10/2014 21:17

As soon as you've given birth (literally, soon as) you won't care what you thought you wanted. You'll want what you've got. If that makes sense?

For what it's worth I was convinced 100% absolutely positive that my DD was my second boy. You really do never know.

Thebodyloveschocolateandwine · 09/10/2014 21:18

I had 2 dss and wanted a girl. Had an amino for medical reasons amd wanted to know the sex so I could prepare myself. Had 2 girls.

Love them all but very glad I have a balance. Very lucky.

Very unmumsnetty.

Rebecca2014 · 09/10/2014 21:22

I have a girl and glad I had a girl first. If I had a boy, I would always want to have a daughter but now If I was to ever get pregnant again, I be meh on the gender.

fishfingerSarnies · 09/10/2014 21:22

Yanbu I really really want a girl to the point where I feel panicked if I think about having a boy, Im convinced it's a boy this time (I have one dd) and I feel like I can't be happy about the pregnancy.
I know I'm being silly and will love it what ever it is but the thought of a boy disgusts me. Blush No reason for it, I love all my friends little boys.

Hope this doesn't make me a bad person.

okeydonkey · 09/10/2014 21:23

Yanbu.
I am preg and really want a second girl!! I don't know how I would feel if it was a boy I can't reassure you. But just to say I think the same

Stresshead123 · 09/10/2014 21:25

Totally wanted girls! Loved the idea of pink pink & more pink, dressing up, princesses the works. Had a girl first then a boy. OMG be careful what u wish for as I would rather have 6 boys than one girl, she was perfect child till she got to 10 years old & the hormones kicked in. She hates me criticises my hair, clothes, mood swings are hell & is a total nightmare! So much for girly spa days etc I am just hoping it gets better as she gets older. My boy is no bother chilled out & loves me to bits!

melmo26 · 09/10/2014 21:25

I have 4 DDs, the first I knew was a girl even though everyone thought it was a boy. Second I didnt care.
Third and forth I really wanted a boy.
I love having 4 girls now, my hope is they grow up to be great friends.

I still pine for a wee boy but we won't have anymore kids.

Eva50 · 09/10/2014 21:25

I wanted (really, really wanted) a girl each time. If I am being perfectly honest I had a third in the desperate hope I would "get my girl". I got another boy and it really, really didn't matter. I wouldn't know what to do with a girl now. Boys are great!

Isseyesque · 09/10/2014 21:26

Prior to having kids I only ever imagined myself with boys. Both pregnancies i was fully expecting boys (but didn't ask at scan). Was very surprised at each birth when they turned out to be girls. Now they are older i literally can't picture myself with boys at all. Once your baby is here you never really think about it - you think about the child you have.

divingoffthebalcony · 09/10/2014 21:27

I wanted a girl, absolutely. And when I was pregnant, I decided not to find out the gender and also convinced myself I was having a boy. Maybe it was a way of protecting myself from disappointment?

Well, by the end of the pregnancy I couldn't imagine the baby being a girl, but she was. Then I had to get my head around having a daughter after all.

In conclusion: it's ok to have a preference. But in the end, you honestly won't mind whatever you have.

rallytog1 · 09/10/2014 21:29

I wanted a boy and thought I was having a boy. I nearly fell off the operating table when the surgeon told me I had a girl. Now I couldn't imagine having anyone else and I think that's the important thing to remember - you're not having 'a boy' or 'a girl' - you're having a person, for whom you'll have boundless love, regardless of their gender.

AlpacaYourThings · 09/10/2014 21:30

but the thought of a boy disgusts me

Sad
Thebodyloveschocolateandwine · 09/10/2014 21:30

fish my once little boys are both now over 6 foot and play rugby.

They bear hug me and move the furniture. They protect me and their younger sisters.

Boys are ace and if you have a boy he will be ace and you will adore him and he you|.

Purplepoodle · 09/10/2014 21:32

I always thought girl but when I was pregnant I knew it was a boy. After I had him, I couldn't see myself with a girl. People batter on about not her daughter bond, not being mil ect BUT it doesn't work out that way. My sil never speaks to her mother yet my dh talks to his mum every day and pops around. Mil is much more involved in our lives.

As someone said it's not to do with gender it's definitely more personality

aermingers · 09/10/2014 21:34

I think it's normal to have a sneaking feeling you might like one or another. I think it's normal to be a tad disappointed for a few days if you find out you're having the opposite. I think to dwell on it is unhealthy and unfair on the child. I really worry about children in this situation. If you have a parent who is viewing their child in terms of what they want all the time...

OP, I'm sure it will all be fine, but I think you need to stop focusing on this, particularly as you don't know and you're working yourself up to be disappointed. I don't think it would be a very nice way for a child to come into the world, as a disappointment already.

It would be a very lucky parent who had a child who turned out exactly the way they want. What are you going to do if you want a sporty child and it turns out to be bookish? Or a girly girl and she turns out to be a tomboy? Or you want a brainy child but you get one who is not academic but is artistic? I really feel for these kids because you think they're just being set up for a lifetime of disappointing people.

Please don't do this to yourself as well OP. I'm sure even if you have a boy you will adore him. Do you really want to look back at your adored little boys birth and know that the overwhelming feeling you had was disappointment? You're getting close to term so chances are you will be delivered with a healthy little baby, please focus on them for being the little miracle that they are, don't just narrow them down to their sex.

OhForFrigSake · 09/10/2014 21:35

And I'm sure girls are great too and have their benefits but my two boys (3 and 2) love me so much, I feel like Peggy Mitchell!

ElephantsNeverForgive · 09/10/2014 21:35

I really wanted a girl first time and second if I'm honest. So did DH.

I have two DDs so I can't tell you if I'd have loved a DS just the same.

I do know my DDs are so different I'm have had less variety in my life with one of each.

Tinkerball · 09/10/2014 21:38

I know I'm being silly and will love it what ever it is but the thought of a boy disgusts me

If you feel that strongly then you should never have got pregnant, its not fair on the child born if they are the "wrong" sex. Disappointment at a scan I get, but to use such a word as you find it disgusting if you have a boy doesn't bode well.