To want to know what sort of crime someone's dad committed?

[Twentythree9teen]

My son is friends with a nice little girl in primary school, and I talk to her mum from time to time. After she got to know me she volunteered the information that the girl's father was in jail. He's out now, and I've met him, and he's a nice enough bloke, though some people might find him a little scary. He's tall and muscular and gruffly spoken.

He was in jail for roughly three years. When I asked why he was in jail the mother said only "he got in a fight" but claimed it wasn't really his fault.

It occurred to me the other day that I know the family name (a highly unusual one, not Smith), and his case and sentencing must be a matter of public record. I could probably google him right now.

Would you do it? Can any good come of it?

I'm torn between curiosity and feeling I might be better off not knowing. Next time I run into him at the school gates I might not be able to look him in the eye. After all you don't go to jail for three years for "a fight"...

Yes , I don't understand the reluctance re Googling. I Google people all the time.

i would def google

i google lots when im about to start a job, often find them on linken, and have googled a few people for personal reasons as well

mum was honest with you so whatever you find dont spread it about, as maybe others dont know and she mentioned it to you as she trusts you

I agree with what ^^blondeshavemorefun says. I think she has confided this in you, and I also think she has chosen the right person. A lot of people would have treated this as a piece of juicy gossip and been straight onto google purely to pass the info on as gossip.

I think the fact that not only have you treated this carefully but you've been so respectful of this families privacy speaks volumes about you.

OP, I think you are a really decent, nice person.

If you do decide that you want to know, then I really would Google it yourself rather than ask a friend to do it on your behalf, especially if this friend is likely to know the family in question or have any mutual acquaintances.

I don't know how open the family are about the man's prison sentence, but asking someone else to Google for you could result in you inadvertently spreading gossip about it.

I would google it in a heartbeat.

What if he did something much worse than start a fight? Seriously, it could be anything.

You say your child has no contact with him but what if a situation arose one day where you need a favour, he offers to collect your ds with his dd and have them at theirs until you could pick him up. What would you say? "No thank you because I don't know if your wife is telling me the truth about what you spent 3 years in jail for." Sorry but I would want to know for my own peace of mind if nothing else.

If it comes up in a simple google search it's not like it's a great big secret anyway.