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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To want to know what sort of crime someone's dad committed?

155 replies

Twentythree9teen · 08/10/2014 10:26

My son is friends with a nice little girl in primary school, and I talk to her mum from time to time. After she got to know me she volunteered the information that the girl's father was in jail. He's out now, and I've met him, and he's a nice enough bloke, though some people might find him a little scary. He's tall and muscular and gruffly spoken.

He was in jail for roughly three years. When I asked why he was in jail the mother said only "he got in a fight" but claimed it wasn't really his fault.

It occurred to me the other day that I know the family name (a highly unusual one, not Smith), and his case and sentencing must be a matter of public record. I could probably google him right now.

Would you do it? Can any good come of it?

I'm torn between curiosity and feeling I might be better off not knowing. Next time I run into him at the school gates I might not be able to look him in the eye. After all you don't go to jail for three years for "a fight"...

OP posts:
KoalaDownUnder · 09/10/2014 04:47

Don't make me check this thread for nothing again, OP...

KoalaDownUnder · 09/10/2014 04:49

Okay, no, no, you're right...stick to your principles.

PM me the effing name and I'LL google it Grin having no principles to speak of

lauranorder50 · 09/10/2014 05:11

Five pages and you still haven't Googled his name ! That's five pages of teasing ! Doesn't matter that OP is overseas. Google his name anyway.

Hurr1cane · 09/10/2014 05:46

I dunno, I know someone who was attacked by someone he knew in his own home, he grabbed the first thing closest to him and hit him over the head with it, hard.

He was done for attempted murder!

This guy is the kindest, gentlest guy I know, the other person was very very horrible and used to kick off all the time.

But the person said they just went round for a chat and had a little argument and then got hit over the head.

500smiles · 09/10/2014 06:12

You're a better person than me then.

DD had a friend in reception whose Dad was in prison. I googled.

I wanted to know that my child was safe going round to play / parties etc.

Finola1step · 09/10/2014 06:20

So are you going to Google or not?

ChameleonCircuit · 09/10/2014 07:50

I'm itching to know what he's done, but I'm also chuckling loudly at OP's username. Grin

HibiscusIsland · 09/10/2014 08:09

Why?

MyFairyKing · 09/10/2014 08:12

I think you're very restrained, I am a nosy fucker. If there is genuinely no risk to your child, to Google would be nosiness, so I can appreciate your moral dilemma.

Twentythree9teen · 09/10/2014 08:13

Selfie:

To want to know what sort of crime someone's dad committed?
OP posts:
fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 09/10/2014 08:14

No you must not Google. It's immoral.

Tinkerball · 09/10/2014 08:20

DD had a friend in reception whose Dad was in prison. I googled. I wanted to know that my child was safe going round to play / parties etc.

I can see why. But for me...well it would be just because Im nosey! Grin

frignorant · 09/10/2014 08:26

I don't get the username reference Confused
Sock puppet?

Wishfulmakeupping · 09/10/2014 08:28

Yep google

Bouttimeforwine · 09/10/2014 08:34

Is this a wind up then?

londonrach · 09/10/2014 08:35

Id have goggled as im curious full stop, did you op

AlpacaYourThings · 09/10/2014 08:38
Hmm
FrancesNiadova · 09/10/2014 09:02

23/19 is from Monsters Inc when the monster has a sock on his back & gets cleaned by the CDA.

Mrsjayy · 09/10/2014 09:11

Yes of course I would google it everybody would but dont be gossiping or scared of the family its your dds friend its not her fault her dad was in prison.

Myhensareladies · 09/10/2014 09:13

Have you googled yet?

kali110 · 09/10/2014 10:49

Google!!!!!!
I do believe in second chances, but id still google cz im a nosey bitch ??

nicenewdusters · 09/10/2014 11:36

Google out of curiosity....

Google because you want to protect your child....

Google because you feel you have a right to know....

If none of these persuade you, Google because we're a bunch of nosey Mumsnetters who WANT TO KNOW !!!

Have been following the thread started yesterday by the poor pregnant lady who couldn't get rid of her houseguests. The suspense had been killing us all, I don't think I can go through it again with "Friend's Dad's Unknown Conviction" !

DrCarolineTodd · 09/10/2014 11:45

For goodness sake OP, you are being very frustrating

Sallyingforth · 09/10/2014 12:04

If he was in jail for three years, the actual sentence will very likely have been for six years. That sounds like a very serious offence - more than some get for rape (unfortunately).
Of course he has served his time and may be determined to go straight, but I'd certainly want to know what he has done for my own peace of mind.

RiffyWammal · 09/10/2014 12:23

Oh my God. I came back for nothing.