To want to know what sort of crime someone's dad committed?

[Twentythree9teen]

My son is friends with a nice little girl in primary school, and I talk to her mum from time to time. After she got to know me she volunteered the information that the girl's father was in jail. He's out now, and I've met him, and he's a nice enough bloke, though some people might find him a little scary. He's tall and muscular and gruffly spoken.

He was in jail for roughly three years. When I asked why he was in jail the mother said only "he got in a fight" but claimed it wasn't really his fault.

It occurred to me the other day that I know the family name (a highly unusual one, not Smith), and his case and sentencing must be a matter of public record. I could probably google him right now.

Would you do it? Can any good come of it?

I'm torn between curiosity and feeling I might be better off not knowing. Next time I run into him at the school gates I might not be able to look him in the eye. After all you don't go to jail for three years for "a fight"...

YABU. It's none of your business!

I'd google too

Google it

I am assuming you have by now so come on what did he do?

IME it's very hard to get in to a fight if you aren't the kind of person who gets into fights IYSWIM

I think you need to Google and report straight back but whatever you find, I don't think I could ever be happy about my DC visiting their house.

Yes I would find out for my own peace of mind.
A schoolfriend's (now moved away) father was in prison for manslaughter which worried me when I heard.
Turns out he man fell asleep at the wheel, with tragic consequences for the other driver. NOT ok, but not as 'premeditated' as I had feared.

Another child's father has been inside for flashing etc.

You DO need to know so you can know who to keep away from.

I wouldn't discuss it with anyone else though.

thestarslookdown ? Have you namechanged on this thread because your post doesn't make any sense to me at all

PrivateJourney that's really not true, or fair, or reasonable. Of course, you don't have to be either fair or reasonable if you don't choose to.

I'd google out of pure nosiness. I wouldn't tell anyone though.

He definitely didn't get three years for getting into a fight though. And if he did three years he probably got six.

I'd have googled straight away out of sheer curiosity - no need to dress it up as essential info for your child's safety.

Interesting to hear about the manslaughter case though, MindReader, just shows you shouldn't make assumptions (not that it's OK but falling asleep at the wheel v different to deliberate violence).

Google obviously. It's hardly a moral dilemma worthy of hand wringing.

Chipping, I have been in very many pubs and football grounds where fights broke out and you can see from when you walk in where the trouble spots are and who is likely to be involved. It is really not hard to stay out of it and the vast majority of men (even in rough pubs) do stay out of it.

Anyway , it wasn't just a fight if he served 3 years.

I understand thestars

Of course Yanbu. The bloke is around your child in the playground. Just google. I'm quite aghast at those who would stick their heads in the sand. Knowledge gives you information to make decisions. I'm not suggesting it should be gossiped about in the playground.

Why would you not Google! DO IT NOW AND TELL US WHAT YOU FIND OUT

I'd google but I am a bit nosy.

of course I would Google. thread years for a fight that wasn't your fault seems like an awfully long time.

I'd google it. I probably wouldn't mention it to anyone except DH though.

I suppose that you could get into a fight, then if you we're wearing steel toecap boots and kicked someone that would count as using a weapon against them, which could change an ABH charge to a GBH charge (potentially much higher sentence).

Also I guess it's down to what the jury believe or think your motivations were. It's a tricky one because nothing is ever black and white.

I'd be more concerned about domestic violence than this, as there's potential for a "fight" to be an isolated incident. But obviously I'd want to protect my child from any violence so am not sure how I'd deal with it.

Fight in a bar picks up a broken bottle and hits someone with it

Fight in the street keeps on kicking hitting victim whilst they are on the ground

I can see how someone would get 3 years for a fight

One of DS's friend's dad was in prison for armed robbery. DS has been to their house.

Apart from the fact that they had roast dinner on a Wednesday and the house was 'MUCH cleaner than ours Mummy' DS didn't have much to report.

Would it definitely come up on google?
It may have been ages ago, or something.
I expect I'd look out of curiosity but its not something I'd be overly concerned about.

It could be he had previous which would bump up the sentence.

I don't even know this child and I want to google his Ddad! It wouldn't cross my mind not to google although I wouldn't share the information with anyone at the school.

I also wouldn't be surprised if it wasn't a fight at all. 'Getting into a fight' seems almost like an acceptable reason for going to prison and can be used when the real reason is both more serious and unsavoury.

Contrary to the PP, I can see how someone could get into a fight accidentally. I've been in a situation in a pub where a group came in and almost immediately started fighting. There was no warning and it would have been easy for innocent bystanders to get caught in the fracas.

If there's nothing on line, are there other ways of investigating who went to prison, when and what for?
County court records or something?

Sorry, not county, crown...or magistrates (county is civil)