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Original poster

To not know how to explain to DSs why women wear a niqab?

383 replies

MrsJamin · 07/10/2014 22:04

I live in a really diverse area - we've often seen women wearing a niqab on the school run and today I wondered what I would say if DS1 or 2 asked why they were wearing one. I honestly don't know what I should say or how I could explain it. They're 4 and 6. A good idea is welcome as I don't know.

OP posts:
fragolino · 08/10/2014 21:25

but there have been quite a few anti-muslim threads on Mumsnet lately and it is getting to me.

There have also been threads about the film Philomena, and the Irish Babies found dead in a mass grave from Catholic Nuns...

Many other threads discussing all religions.

Thats because we can, we can talk about the catholic church, we can discuss it and cristise it, and other faiths.

Beastofburden · 08/10/2014 21:27

Thinking further on steps lovely reply, I find myself wondering if everyone lives up to this.

Hw does it work, if you tell your daughter that she has to veil as a decent girl, and then you see an unveiled girl from her class at school walk past. Is she OK because she's not Muslim, nobody has asked her to veil? Is she kind of "not my problem"?

From my own experience of being stared at in a nasty way (in Turkey, when much younger...), I do sometimes think that it's not all live and let live on both sides. There is sometimes a sense, perhaps among some of the men mainly, that women are inferior if they are not obeying the dress code that the men are used to. I do accept, of course, that this is not what Islam teaches. It's a cultural thing, and we had the same thing in the UK up to probably the 1960s. But I wonder if the full veil makes it worse.

FreudiansSlipper · 08/10/2014 21:34

I think it is a little silly to not recognise the anti islam stance that some on mn have it is sadly part of our society that is gaining support and that has reflected on mn

as for women who choose to wear a niqab what cruel people are doing to young women in other countries she can not take responsibility for she may herself be fighting for the rights of these women but from a different perspective to what you take and that could be one from being able to have a choice. I can not take responsibility for women who have been forced into prostitution being made to dress a certain way to please their clients that they are forced to have sex with if I too choose to dress in that way, I am not supporting the actions of those that abuse them. only the people that harm these girls and women and those that support their attackers actions can take responsibility it is unfair to put it on other woman (and of course I see this is not putting it on men)

MistressMia · 08/10/2014 21:48

I think it is a little silly to not recognise the anti islam stance that some on mn

What is wrong with being against an ideology that discriminates against women, non-muslims, homosexuals ? That preaches superiority and fuels hatred and separatism. Whose teachings and beliefs are the driver for beheading aid workers, taking sex slaves, flying planes into buildings and bombs on tubes. I make no apology for being against Islam

fragolino · 08/10/2014 21:54

Why is it sadder if people are anti islam than anti catholic.

Why is it sad if anyone is anti religion?

MistressMia · 08/10/2014 21:55

as for women who choose to wear a niqab what cruel people are doing to young women in other countries she can not take responsibility for she may herself be fighting for the rights of these women but from a different perspective to what you take and that could be one from being able to have a choice

Never seen a protest yet from a group of hijabis or niqabis in support of womens right not to veil, despite the daily reports of violence and reprisals against women who have the temerity to decide how to dress themselves. You're out in full force every time any country so much as suggests a ban. Cartoons and other innocuous misdemeanours also seems to unleash your full fury and galvanises you to visible protest. Surely now you could stand with the women in Raqqa and de-robe in solidarity. Stick two fingers up at IS. that would send a powerful message... or do you actually approve of their actions ?

Thebodyloveschocolateandwine · 08/10/2014 22:00

It depends what you mean by anti Islamic though.

If you mean that to say you find the covering of humans from a young age because they have a vagina ridiculous as anti Islamic or that to point out the cruelty of the magdalen homes is anti catholic etc is a good way of shutting down a debate.

That would be as unacceptable to me as shouting abuse in the street to a covered woman.

Beastofburden · 08/10/2014 22:04

To be fair, I am an equal opportunities atheist, I think all religions are equally wrong. Some do make greater demands on their followers than others, so that is more striking to me, especially where they embed differences in opportunities between the genders. But that is by no means just Islam.

Greengrow · 08/10/2014 22:09

I think an awful lot of us are against all the religions because they are sexist and damage women and are objectively wrong as well as peddling a myth of invented Gods or God. We are allowed in the UK to express that view. That does mean me are rude to people we meet but we are lucky enough in a free society to say - thou art wrong and the world would be better if you changed your ways. That is what a free society is about. Some of the religions want to stifle that freedom and even in some countries police what women wear.

maitaimojito · 08/10/2014 22:10

My friend's DS (3) was being carried on his dad's shoulders and shouted 'boo' to a lady wearing a niqab, thinking she was playing peek a boo.

My friend was mortified as he'd made the lady jump and she'd screamed.

I can't remember what explanation she gave but obviously it had to be fairly basic for a 3 year old to grasp.

ElkTheory · 08/10/2014 22:14

It's so reassuring to see that prejudice is alive and well on MN. Nice to know there are some things you can always count on. Hmm

FreudiansSlipper · 08/10/2014 22:18

I have said again and again that women should have choice

there is a lot of support from all women for other women to have a choice from all different backgrounds google search. many muslim women supporting other muslim women in the fight against fgm (it is very hard to work with some communities unless you are muslim)

one of the papers today (or maybe yesterday) had a picture of I believe an Asian women wearing a union jack hijab it was an article about british muslim women against isis

yes you are right there is nothing wrong with being anti religion and disagreeing with religion but lets not pretend that it does not get personal and that prejudice has not crept on mn

and no being damming against those who are catholic is not right, yes it seems for some ok to do so and often accepted it should not be but we only need to look at the media to see who many want to aim their prejudice views against at the moment (will probably change in 20 years)

Skewers · 08/10/2014 22:21

Agree with Freudianslipper and elk. the prejudice and ignorance on here is astounding. It is a reason why muslim women do not engage for too long. You have women on here wanting other women to dress a certain way.

Peacocklady · 08/10/2014 22:22

For too long have good people been unwilling or scared of speaking out against the evil ones from the same religion. Scared of looking like they are criticising their religion, scared of looking like there is disharmony or disagreement, scared of divine punishment. Look how Christians covered up or ignored abuse or tolerated homophobic teaching. This is after Jesus himself repeatedly told his followers not to cling to laws.
We should not be afraid of speaking out against practices that repress or harm people and that includes those things done as part of a religion.
I cannot get my head round how anyone could truly believe that a god would really give a shit what people wear. We're all born naked!

SevenZarkSeven · 08/10/2014 22:26

I'm extremely damming about loads of actions and aspects of the rc church, i was raised rc. The idea that people are expressing prejudice and blindly following the media when they criticise religions is an incorrect assumption and I'm not sure where that assumption would even come from tbh. It is easier to think that, than to imagine that people might have valid concerns?

FreudiansSlipper · 08/10/2014 22:33

so their is no prejudice on mn

ok have learnt something new today

and was not necessarily directing the post at anyone poster

FreudiansSlipper · 08/10/2014 22:35

there .....

I need to get on with my work

MistressMia · 08/10/2014 22:36

When you can't justify your stance, revert to that good old canard of muslim victimhood. This despite the fact that its muslims currently in the world doing the majority of the persecuting.

Thebodyloveschocolateandwine · 08/10/2014 22:37

elk what a totally lazy and ridiculous post.

Please do accuse me of prejudice as i would take great joy in reporting such a serious personal attack.

FreudiansSlipper · 08/10/2014 22:37

is that directed at me MM

MistressMia · 08/10/2014 22:41

Yes and Skewer's. No doubt that post in itself is Islamophobic.

MistressMia · 08/10/2014 22:42

and Elks

Jefferson · 08/10/2014 22:45

As a PP said it is indeed a depressing place to be as a Muslim woman on MN sometimes. Our voices are just ignored really. A massive difference to the Muslim tearoom thread.
People say they are anti-religion but posters like mistressmia just keep shouting about how all the troubles in the world are caused by Muslims and how Muslims are like the KKK. How exactly are we not supposed to see that as Islamaphobia??

MistressMia · 08/10/2014 22:47

You have women on here wanting other women to dress a certain way

You have men killing and maiming women who won't dress in their way . Far more serious I think. But you go ahead. Be the victim here.

Jefferson · 08/10/2014 22:48

Oh but if we do dare to complain we are just hiding behind the 'canard of Muslim victimhood'.
Yeh just shut up Muslims. You are all weird and crazy and evil with your black blankets and destruction of feminism. You are responsible for everything bad that happens to Muslim women in every Islamic country because you wear a hijab/niqab